Necromancer Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 This is often used as shaming tactic in dating against males to shut then up\blame them. "You have a negative vipe". First of all non of you have seen me irl, how could you possible know how i present myself to people only by my writing. Second: Ted Bundy, if women where so cleaver they would never have been fooled. He is the perfect example that women cannot pick up your bad vipe. Unless you walk around depressed as uck obviously. But very few are like that.
MrCastle Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I agree for the most part. I promote having positive thoughts as often as possible and always seeing the glass half full, but unless you're out of control, comically negative, people won't notice. When you're really negative, it shows up in your body language, your aura. But not if you're mildly disappointed with your dating life. 2
Lonely Ronin Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 This is often used as shaming tactic in dating against males to shut then up\blame them. "You have a negative vipe". First of all non of you have seen me irl, how could you possible know how i present myself to people only by my writing. Second: Ted Bundy, if women where so cleaver they would never have been fooled. He is the perfect example that women cannot pick up your bad vipe. Unless you walk around depressed as uck obviously. But very few are like that. lol, You used a psychotic serial killer, and a point of reference. What you fail to recognize, is that he is very much an exception to the rule. Most people can't keep that kind of guise up for very long. 6
monicaelise Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Being told you have a negative vibe (not sure what a "vipe" is) is not a shaming tactic. It's an explanation for why someone doesn't want to be bothered with you. It's an opinion based on observation. You may or may not agree with it, but it doesn't change the fact that is an opinion. Not every negative opinion is a shaming tactic. Shaming tactics are behaviours intended to make you feel ashamed or embarrassed, e.g. laughing at someone for his or her beliefs. Being told you're an asshat when you act like one is not a "shaming tactic", especially when you're proud of being a jerk. 8
KungFuJoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Necromancer, You have a negative vibe...not a vipe. And I meant that literally...not as an example. YOU have a negative vibe. 2
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The problem is when you have people who only "know" about you from online, based on nothing more than what you write, telling you that you give off a negative vibe. That's absolute bull sh*t. If somebody you know in real life tells you that you give off a negative vibe, then that's something to pay attention to. 1
Teknoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The problem is when you have people who only "know" about you from online, based on nothing more than what you write, telling you that you give off a negative vibe. That's absolute bull sh*t. If somebody you know in real life tells you that you give off a negative vibe, then that's something to pay attention to. Why don't you ask those close to you in real life to give you honest feedback? Anyway, to the topic question. I think PEOPLE in general (especially those who are more intuitive than the average person) can sense a person who is carrying with them a "negative vibe." There tends to be a heaviness on that person, dragging them down. I've met plenty of people like this... and usually I'm pretty accurate with being able to tell who is negative and who is positive. Unless you're a top-notch actor, you can't really mask it, either. Your light will glow... or your dimness will show. It is what it is. 1
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Why don't you ask those close to you in real life to give you honest feedback? Anyway, to the topic question. I think PEOPLE in general (especially those who are more intuitive than the average person) can sense a person who is carrying with them a "negative vibe." There tends to be a heaviness on that person, dragging them down. I've met plenty of people like this... and usually I'm pretty accurate with being able to tell who is negative and who is positive. Unless you're a top-notch actor, you can't really mask it, either. Your light will glow... or your dimness will show. It is what it is. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...
Teknoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine... Hide it under a bushel? NO! I'm gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shineeee... BTW, true story. I played Martin Luther King Jr. in a college play... we sung Let It Shine as a chorus. Good times. 1
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Hide it under a bushel? NO! I'm gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shineeee... BTW, true story. I played Martin Luther King Jr. in a college play... we sung Let It Shine as a chorus. Good times. Hah, that's funny. To your previous post, yeah it's possible to tell when somebody is giving off a bad vibe, but that really depends if they're broadcasting it and what their current mode is. If you look at a normally depressed guy and he's in a good mood, you're not going to pick up that he's depressed most of the time. Unless you're some sort of dog whisperer. Applying that to myself, yeah I'm depressed when I'm at home by myself. When I'm around girls, talking and joking with them, I'm in a good mood, they aren't going to think that I'm depressed and negative.
ScreamingTrees Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 If someone can only post negative things, how does their online persona not give off a generally negative vibe, if that's what they're known for posting? Whether they're being negative about themselves or others.. They're still negative, and it shows in what they're saying in their posts. How stupid can you be?
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 If someone can only post negative things, how does their online persona not give off a generally negative vibe, if that's what they're known for posting? Whether they're being negative about themselves or others.. They're still negative, and it shows in what they're saying in their posts. How stupid can you be? I'm getting a negative vibe from you. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I'm getting a negative vibe from you. you get that from anyone who tells you you're fooling yourself, because really that's all your doing.
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 you get that from anyone who tells you you're fooling yourself, because really that's all your doing. Duh hell? Maybe you should try again when you're sober. G'night
Teknoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Hah, that's funny. To your previous post, yeah it's possible to tell when somebody is giving off a bad vibe, but that really depends if they're broadcasting it and what their current mode is. If you look at a normally depressed guy and he's in a good mood, you're not going to pick up that he's depressed most of the time. Unless you're some sort of dog whisperer. Applying that to myself, yeah I'm depressed when I'm at home by myself. When I'm around girls, talking and joking with them, I'm in a good mood, they aren't going to think that I'm depressed and negative. Like I said SD, if you want real feedback, ask the people closest to you in your life to describe you in a word or a phrase. I did this recently with some co-workers where we wrote down a word or a phrase to describe the person to our left. I received comments like "Genuine," "Always has a great smile," "Cheerful," and "Team builder." We all have a perception of how WE think people perceive us, but we never know for sure until we ask. You can ask for honest feedback, and you'll get it. I find it helps sometimes.
ScreamingTrees Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I'm getting a negative vibe from you. Ok? How does any of this back and forth petty **** help you ultimately? You're going to go back to venting on a board about how you have no luck in reality, no? And you're surprised that when you only show that frustrated, hopeless side, that people online aren't going to assume that it may bleed into reality?
Teknoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Ok? How does any of this back and forth petty **** help you ultimately? You're going to go back to venting on a board about how you have no luck in reality, no? And you're surprised that when you only show that frustrated, hopeless side, that people online aren't going to assume that it may bleed into reality? ST, don't bother. SD is here on LS for his own reasons. There is no getting through to him because he's locked the door and thrown away the key. I keep hoping to read a success story from him, but it's the same situation year after year. I am wondering if 2013 will be any different, and whether he'll finally try some different strategies, because everything he's tried so far based on his "own instincts" have not worked whatsoever. Maybe it's time to start trusting the advice of others here with some blind faith. Certainly can't be any worse off than when he has made decisions on his own accord. Edited December 30, 2012 by Teknoe 1
movingon12 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The problem is when you have people who only "know" about you from online, based on nothing more than what you write, telling you that you give off a negative vibe. That's absolute bull sh*t. Up to a point that's true - but only up to a point. People online do say things they wouldn't say IRL because they have the protection of anonymity and certainly on sites like this, a lot of the people are generally here because things aren't going so well, so it's natural that we would see their more negative side. However, if a guy is on here a lot, is consistently complaining - either about women in general/women he knows/other posters - and never/rarely has anything positive to say, it is hard to believe that he has a completely different persona and completely different attitudes/opinions IRL. If someone only comes on every now and then to have a moan and then disappears for weeks at a time, it's easy to imagine that we are only seeing them at their worst and it's not a true reflection of their character. But if they're on here, 'at their worst' every 2/3 days, it's hard to picture them as a particularly cheerful person offline. And lets be honest - username choices say a lot about how a person wants to be perceived. As for whether women IRL can tell if a guy has a negative vibe. Of course they can - they might not be able to know exactly what negative thoughts someone is having, but vibes are like BO - you can't effectively judge your own, only someone else can tell you what you're giving off. 3
PogoStick Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I love Necro for being entertaining! Really can't tell if he's a troll or just a miserable failure with women.
Carenth Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 As someone who used to wear a "mask" to the outside world to try and hide the fact I was miserable inside. Unless you are a seriously good actor most people will pick up on the cracks in your mask and realise in a short time you are a unhappy person. The most obvious one for me to pick up on is desperation for a girlfriend. It's like seriously bad BO you try to ignore it but you can't and you just want to tell the person "stop wearing desperation it's killing whatever chances you have". It was mentally and physically exhausting for me to pretend I was happy guy day in and day out and my friends and family knew it just wasn't the truth. Anyone that interacted with me for more than a short period of time (more than a couple of hours) picked up on this as well. You are only fooling yourself if you don't think people can pick up on negative vibes, because seriously you are not fooling anyone else. No it's not shaming tactics for pointing this out, it's pretty common sense that not many people would like to be with someone who hates them selves and has a serious chip on their shoulder about dating and the opposite sex in general. That is not attractive period. I agree if one comes on here over and over with the same negative outlooks/opinions etc. It does reflect somewhat of what their personality is in real life. 3
Taramere Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 First of all non of you have seen me irl, how could you possible know how i present myself to people only by my writing. Second: Ted Bundy, if women where so cleaver they would never have been fooled. He is the perfect example that women cannot pick up your bad vipe. Unless you walk around depressed as uck obviously. But very few are like that. That's quite a comparison you're making there. You and Ted Bundy. Is his life an interest of yours, and is there any connection between such an interest and the username you adopted on here? 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Ted Bundy is one of the biggest sociopaths ever known. He didn't only fool women, he fooled everyone he had contact with. They all thought he was a nice, normal and upstanding guy. 1
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I agree that I've never heard of or felt a negative 'vipe' before. Is that what you get when a viper sinks its fangs into you? 4
Teknoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 As someone who used to wear a "mask" to the outside world to try and hide the fact I was miserable inside. Unless you are a seriously good actor most people will pick up on the cracks in your mask and realise in a short time you are a unhappy person. The most obvious one for me to pick up on is desperation for a girlfriend. It's like seriously bad BO you try to ignore it but you can't and you just want to tell the person "stop wearing desperation it's killing whatever chances you have". It was mentally and physically exhausting for me to pretend I was happy guy day in and day out and my friends and family knew it just wasn't the truth. Anyone that interacted with me for more than a short period of time (more than a couple of hours) picked up on this as well. You are only fooling yourself if you don't think people can pick up on negative vibes, because seriously you are not fooling anyone else. No it's not shaming tactics for pointing this out, it's pretty common sense that not many people would like to be with someone who hates them selves and has a serious chip on their shoulder about dating and the opposite sex in general. That is not attractive period. I agree if one comes on here over and over with the same negative outlooks/opinions etc. It does reflect somewhat of what their personality is in real life. So true. For someone in SD's shoes, the best thing is to commit oneself to seeing a professional therapist. He has seen many before... which tells me he jumped from one to the next... he never got too close to one... or once he did, he felt he was in too deep and jumped ship. Now he doesn't want to see another one. Sounds like a person scared of the pain that comes with real change... while wanting magical results with little to no effort. That is exactly the formula for how a person stays stuck in the same spot year after year. Some people perfect this formula better than others... Sadly, my cousin needs professional help and he too is stubborn about it. I'm hoping to see if he might change his mind in 2013. He's 24 and a half and just got a lot of issues he needs to work out. Seeing a professional therapist would help.
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Up to a point that's true - but only up to a point. People online do say things they wouldn't say IRL because they have the protection of anonymity and certainly on sites like this, a lot of the people are generally here because things aren't going so well, so it's natural that we would see their more negative side. However, if a guy is on here a lot, is consistently complaining - either about women in general/women he knows/other posters - and never/rarely has anything positive to say, it is hard to believe that he has a completely different persona and completely different attitudes/opinions IRL. If someone only comes on every now and then to have a moan and then disappears for weeks at a time, it's easy to imagine that we are only seeing them at their worst and it's not a true reflection of their character. But if they're on here, 'at their worst' every 2/3 days, it's hard to picture them as a particularly cheerful person offline. And lets be honest - username choices say a lot about how a person wants to be perceived. As for whether women IRL can tell if a guy has a negative vibe. Of course they can - they might not be able to know exactly what negative thoughts someone is having, but vibes are like BO - you can't effectively judge your own, only someone else can tell you what you're giving off. Very true, in all seriousness. Obviously one's online persona cannot completely reflect their real-life one, but often it gives you a fairly good guess of what they would be like IRL, especially if you read enough of their posts. Take BetheButterfly for instance. Do you really think she'd be a grumpy, cranky bitch IRL who constantly puts people down and gives off an air of negativity? Possible, but then she'd be a helluva good actress to be able to write so sweetly and kindly and considerately online. Not many people are that good.
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