EasyHeart Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 @Easyheart Asking a woman out on a date is the last step in the process. NO!!! It's the first. If you like a woman, ask her out!!! Dagnabbit!!!
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) EasyHeart. Flirting comes before asking someone out. IME and as I have observed getting to know somoene in a platonic way can be the prelude to a very good relationship. What I describe is really nothing more than really heavy flirtation. http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/three-ways-to-escape-the-friend-zone/ This is not just me saying this eharmony states it plainly. 3: Don’t Wait too long to “Make Your Move.” The biggest reason that a guy gets banished to the friend zone is that he waits too long to make his move with a woman. This means delaying “getting physical” with her, plain and simple. When a man does this, he sends two fatal signals: That he’s not confident, which is the ultimate attraction killer. Or that he’s just not interested in taking things any further. In a nutshell…you know you’re interested in “that” way, but a woman has no clue until you show her. So early on, guide her with a light hand on her back. Take her by the hand when you cross the street. Throw caution to the wind and go in for that kiss. The worst that can happen is that she pulls back. And then, at least, you know where you really stand and can react accordingly (by either investing more time in her or just moving on). What I am saying is really advice that many dating guru's do too. What you say is what women have been taught good girls want nice men to do...which leaves those nice men blue balls for life. Edited December 30, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 NO!!! It's the first. If you like a woman, ask her out!!! Dagnabbit!!! Agreed! LOL! This thread feels like the twilight zone!! I wondered at the stories when I first joined LS. IRL, guys seemed to have no problems getting dates and GFs. Now I see there's this whole subculture that doesn't ask, says one thing while meaning another, and insists on banging their heads repeatedly against a wall to get someone who has friend zoned them to date them/be their GF. Sorry, but if you're her "go-to" shoulder to cry on and/or get advice about her (ex)BF, you're one of her BFFs and many girl friends. You're fighting against the tide. She's certainly not doing that with the guy she actually has a crush on. Nothing kills self-esteem faster than trying to get someone who has essentially rejected you to see you in a different light. You'll be much happier and have more self-confidence if you identify people who want to date you and focus on them. You do that by asking, "Can I take you on a DATE." Yes? You're good to proceed. Anything else? You're wasting your time. Move on to the next woman who interests you, and ask her. All this sitting your friends in your lap and rubbing yourself on her so that she feels your manliness? Downright creepy and pervy. The good news: no woman will come within ten feet of you once word gets around. You will be permanently banished from her friendzone. LOL. True. But you'll still be no closer to a date or a GF. Keep it simple--ask for a date.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 @Cutiepie...did you not read my link from Eharmony advice. This is not just me saying these things.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Yes. That article was written by David DeAngelo, not by eHarmony staff, and is clearly labeled as such, along with links to his PUA books, newsletters, etc. Not surprisingly, given his thriving business model which depends on men struggling to get to a date, the article advises against asking for a date, which "risks rejection." It's a promotional piece for his business. He paid eHarmony to place the article. Read the fine print. If you look in the women's section, there are promotional pieces by Procter & Gamble, equally lacking in credibility, that ultimately tout their products, particularly their Olay line. Not worth the pixels they take up on my screen. Obviously, you feel you've found the solution to your dating difficulties. I wish you well with the approach.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 Just because it's written by a PUA dosen't mean it's invalid advice. I also showed you video's by a female giving advice which said the same thing. If a man wants to make a freindship more than friendship he has to take the risk of rejection and make his feelings known.
Casablanca Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Just because it's written by a PUA dosen't mean it's invalid advice. I also showed you video's by a female giving advice which said the same thing. If a man wants to make a freindship more than friendship he has to take the risk of rejection and make his feelings known. That is obvious, but your specific methods are more likely to backfire with quality women A man can show his interest easily without jamming his tongue down her throat and/or his dick in her pants 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 That is obvious, but your specific methods are more likely to backfire with quality women A man can show his interest easily without jamming his tongue down her throat and/or his dick in her pants Again, no one said any of what your saying. Your talking about at least sexual assault. The eharmony thing talked about guiding a woman through a dor with a hand on her back. I talked about taking that woman crying on your shoulder and sitting her in your lap. You'd be surprised how many women feel comforted by that though it's not "nice" to admit it.
carhill Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 It'll clarify things; that's been my experience. 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Just because it's written by a PUA dosen't mean it's invalid advice. I also showed you video's by a female giving advice which said the same thing. If a man wants to make a freindship more than friendship he has to take the risk of rejection and make his feelings known. Let's agree to disagree on the effectiveness of pickup artist trickery. His first point in that article (I notice you picked and chose selectively from his third point), stated that guys should not ask for a date directly because it "risked rejection." Both Ms. Singlefied's videos recommended that you make your interest known by ASKING CLEARLY TO TAKE THE WOMAN ON A DATE..and to do so sooner, rather than waiting. That has been my (and a few other posters') position throughout. Again, you are clearly convinced this backdoor approach you've proposed will solve your dating challenges and help you find and secure your next SO. I wish you well as you sit your friends in your lap, hug them tightly, and ensure they feel your manliness while you surprise them with kisses, French kisses, touching in naughty places, etc. Best! Edited December 30, 2012 by Cutiepie1976 1
EasyHeart Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 EasyHeart. Flirting comes before asking someone out. IME and as I have observed getting to know somoene in a platonic way can be the prelude to a very good relationship. What I describe is really nothing more than really heavy flirtation. That's completely different than being friends with a woman. If you're in a situation like school or work, then you can spend some time getting to know her before you ask her out. But that's not being her "friend". Also, if you wait too long, you risk her deciding you aren't interested in her and her losing interest as a result. The other situation I can see your suggestion working is when you meet a woman who has a boyfriend. You can pretend to be her friend while you wait for her to dump the loser. But again, that's an unusual situation. In MOST cases, the best thing a man can do is be direct and make his interest known to the woman.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 That's completely different than being friends with a woman. If you're in a situation like school or work, then you can spend some time getting to know her before you ask her out. But that's not being her "friend". Also, if you wait too long, you risk her deciding you aren't interested in her and her losing interest as a result. The other situation I can see your suggestion working is when you meet a woman who has a boyfriend. You can pretend to be her friend while you wait for her to dump the loser. But again, that's an unusual situation. In MOST cases, the best thing a man can do is be direct and make his interest known to the woman. We have different views of relationships. I see my truest friends as being my best potential lovers. Because the lasting relationships I've seen, like that of my parents aunts and uncles, have been based on friendship not sparks.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I believe you need both. Marriages falter when you have one but not the other.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 Sparks often come from friction. If a man is sooo afraid of loosing a friend that he won't take a risk to gain a lover + a friend the he will never have that kind of a relationship. Folks have taken what I said to extremes of "gropeing" and sticking your *ick in places. No no no.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 My bad! Grinding:) Chemistry= sexual attraction *********** Groping is in the eye of the beholder. If you like the person, it's caressing. If it's unwelcome, it's groping.
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