cf929 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I have absolutely no luck in love, let me start from the beginning. I had a serious boyfriend from the age of 19 to 23, I realized the relationship wasn't exactly what I wanted around 22, but I was absolutely terrified of being alone, so I stuck it out. Eventually he met someone else and dumped me for her, I was heart broken but I knew it wasn't the right situation for me. We talked for the first 6 weeks we were broken up (sometimes they were civil conversations, but some were not so civil), but I survived and I haven't talked to him for almost 2 years now. I miss him at time, he was my best friend for almost 4 years, but I don't miss the relationship at all. So, then for the next 18 months, I did what every new single girl does. I went crazy, I met a ton of new people, made a lot of new friends and had all sorts of adventures; probably the most fun I've ever had. Then, in April, I met him. I finally had that feeling again of completely connecting with someone and wanting to spend all my time with someone again. (I swore after my ex and I broke up I would never have that feeling again.) It was a whirlwind, we went on a few dates, laughed a lot and before I knew it, it was "facebook official." Then it all came crashing down, he had this ex girlfriend that seemed to constantly text him and I just couldn't deal. Our relationship lasted 4 weeks and I spent the last 2 weeks completely anxious over the situation with his ex and trying to figure out why he was still hung up on her. It finally came to an end when he said he didn't know what he wanted and I told him I wasn't waiting around to find out. We texted 2 times in the next month, just basic "how are you" conversations, but I haven't talked to him since. I found out 6 weeks after our break up he has a new girlfriend and I was absolutely devasted. I was more upset then when we broke up. Since the break up, about 6 months ago, I have started to talk to 1 guy. It lasted about 3 weeks and then we got into a disagreement and haven't talked since. It wasn't a deal-breaker, more of a difference of opinion. I have gone on about 3 absolutely horrible first dates and my fair share of friends trying to hook me up with people. I am ready for a long term relationship again and I know I won't get what I want when I'm looking. But, how do you not look when its what you really want? Can I possibly find a third person that I feel is my best friend and feel completely comfortable around? Ugh, why is finding your "soul mate" so hard?
Samilia Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I have heard a lot of my gfs saying "it's when you don't look for it that you'll find love". It might be true and it also might be a pile of pet talks. Sure, look for it, why not? You don't have to look desperate either. I have met guys who were looking for the one before, just wasn't me, but they were looking indeed. To give you an analogy, sure, I have found money in the streets before, but I rather work for it.
OJ loved Nicole Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 why is finding your "soul mate" so hard? Because if it were easy it wouldn't be worth while... Don't consider yourself unlucky in love. You're fortunate and you don't even know it. The last guy (4 month RS) gave you the insight to what he really is, an indecisive a-hole that will be looking for a looong time. The 3 week relationship and your first dates were like shopping for shoes. You're smart enough to realize that these are bad fits early on instead of wasting valuable time on them. Most women dive into bad relationships because they don't see the bad fit, waste months/years of their lives, hunger for the attention from unavailable/broken men. Again you're not unlucky, just a really good shoe shopper. 1
aliceb1987 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I can relate to this,as reckon i am a similar age to you (im 25) and have also had nothing but disastrous relationships (5 notable ones and numerous timewasters inbetween) and am wondering if i will ever find someone compatible. Was using a dating site after splitting with a long term ex in August,which whilst i have witnessed work for some people personally has brought me nothing but trouble-numerous dead end dates,players and headcases.I have just split from one guy who for the past couple of months i thought i was getting somewhere with,began to build a life and connection with,but turned out to be bad move for me, and now feel like i am back to square one....again! Its like a repetitive process of carefully building a tower of bricks piece by piece then getting them knocked down and having to start all over again...pretty soul destroying! But hopefully for both of us one day the tower will not be built in vain and will not get knocked down. Good luck,lets keep the faith together!
Author cf929 Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 I tried online dating, but it just doesn't work for me! I don't feel a attraction to someone deep enough to go on a date or I find some personality quality I just cannot look over. However, (I didnt mention this in my post above) I have been talking to this guy off and on, more on then off, for the past year. He shows a true interest in my life and what's going on, but he seems terrified to take the next step. I'm not banking on him or any type of future with him until he steps up, but in the mean time he occupies my time.
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