my situation

[whichwayisup]

S.hi.t, I'm going to hate myself for this....

 

It's not 'Pray' it's 'Prey'......

 

 

 

And I really DO suggest you tell his wife - and back it with text-proof.

 

Shut him up for good.

 

Jeesh, something has to be done here.

You need to - why is there no feminine equivalent to "Man up and grow a pair!"....?

 

That's what you have to do - in the feminine state.

 

Yes, tell her. He doesn't believe you will do it..Just like your own husband doesn't believe that you had an A. But you did have that A and you WILL tell his W.

 

That exMM is playing you. You are his mouse and he's loving the game.

[vixee]

Moderator please delete this message...sorry.

[vixee]

I wasn't quite sure whether to share this update or not, hence the previous post..out of all the confusion...

Once I had to go to a party and had to shop dress and was going to meet OM for coffee, so went shopping with him, bought dress and accessories..yesterday someone posted his family pic at a party and his wife is wearing exact same dress with exact same accessories!!

 

I am sorry but I was furious so I texted him saying that, what crap is that!! and I don't like this! He replied, how I knew? (he was tagged by a common friend and thought I will never know) and that his wife already had that dress long ago and that I am not a celebrity who other people will copy.

 

I am so sure that he made her buy that dress! Why would he do that????? It's insane!!! Did he buy her same other dresses & lingerie as me????

[Darren Steez]

Are you for real?

 

Why are you going shopping with him? This is ridiculous.

[Steen719]

lingerie? you and he bought you lingerie? He knows your lingerie?

[Darren Steez]

lingerie? you and he bought you lingerie? He knows your lingerie?

 

maybe she tried it on in front of him?

[vixee]

Are you for real?

 

Why are you going shopping with him? This is ridiculous.

 

I went shopping with him in past when we were meeting for the second time for coffee in a shopping mall, and following evening I had a party to attend so did some shopping with him. H recently bought the same thing fro his wife or with his wife, I don't know, after it was all over between us!! (Sorry if I wasn't clear.)

 

I did not buy lingerie with him, but once when we met at his place he saw that, I was wearing a deep neck top. And so that was just a remark (if he is going to buy similar lingerie for his wife!!)

 

 

I am soooo irritated, furious and confused, why would he do that!!! Even same accessories!!! Come on!!!!!

Edited January 13, 2013 by vixee

[CantgetoveritNY]

 

I am so sure that he made her buy that dress! Why would he do that????? It's insane!!! Did he buy her same other dresses & lingerie as me????

 

Holy cow! You are or we're seriously thinking of having sex with this clown, right? So you would willingly share a penis with his wife but her having the same dress bothers you?! I don't get it.

[vixee]

I am confused by your update. Basically did you break NC and meet with him for coffee, went shopping, and hung out with him or are you talking about something that happened before you went NC?

 

Before NC, went shopping with him, we were having coffee, I said I have to shop for tomorrow's party, he tagged along and just gave his opinion on how I looked when I tried on different dresses. It was second date so no dirty talks, he really helped me select a dress. After NC, yesterday, I saw the pic that a common friend posted that his wife is wearing the same dress! Just a week or so back. This dress is still available in the same shop, if someone else wants to buy it and same shop has lots of accessories that one can buy, I chose blue & golden accessory. His wife was wearing the same design, everything same in the pic!!

[vixee]

Holy cow! You are or we're seriously thinking of having sex with this clown, right? So you would willingly share a penis with his wife but her having the same dress bothers you?! I don't get it.

 

Where did I speak about penis!!! I did not go near his penis!!!

[CantgetoveritNY]

Where did I speak about penis!!! I did not go near his penis!!!

 

You said if you followed your heart it would lead you to his bed. What did you mean by this, a nap? Cuddling?

[vixee]

You said if you followed your heart it would lead you to his bed. What did you mean by this, a nap? Cuddling?

 

In continuation to that, I also said, 'I am fighting my feelings', i.e. not following my heart. If I followed my heart in present or future, I may end up in his bed. We did not have sex!

[vixee]

The whole point is, why he wants his wife to wear the same dress as me?

[Furious]

The whole point is, why he wants his wife to wear the same dress as me?

 

 

I suggest you go into therapy, you're a grown woman with children and are obsessed about a dress.

 

Sorry to say, but you've got to grow up, you sound like a teenager.

[vixee]

I suggest you go into therapy, you're a grown woman with children and are obsessed about a dress.

 

Sorry to say, but you've got to grow up, you sound like a teenager.

 

I think you missed the point.

[Furious]

I think you missed the point.

 

 

I got the point, but I don't think you did.

[TaraMaiden]

Vixee - the point is - it doesn't - and shouldn't matter.

leave it.

Forget it.

 

Your place is not to question what he's done, why he's done it, how he could, why he should, what he shouldn't do, what he couldn't have done....

ferphukk's sake, quit re-hashing, analysing and asking dumb questions.

 

Who cares??

WE DON'T!

 

And guess what - ?! NEITHER SHOULD YOU - !!

 

Leave it be, and quit asking questions, the answers to which will get you nowhere and be utterly pointless!!

 

Now do you get it??

[Mickey_Fitzpatrick]

I think you missed the point.

 

Is your point that other man betrayed you by buying the same dress and accessories for his wife?

 

Or that you are not as special to him as you thought you were because of him buying the same dress and accessories for his wife?

[turnera]

The whole point is, why he wants his wife to wear the same dress as me?

Because he is an ********* and he gets off on controlling a bunch of women.

[turnera]

I think you missed the point.

vixee, there IS no point. No valid one, from your point. You were a mistress AND a cheating wife, and you have NO BUSINESS even THINKING about this married man any longer, LET ALONE obsessing about what he does with his wife. To continue to talk as though you have any right to ANY aspect of his life is doing an injustice to YOUR husbnd, your family and the OM's family.

 

You are not a victim, here, vixee. You are a cheater. Therefore, you should be focusing on how you are going to spend the rest of your life making up to the people you love for what you've done.

 

Instead, you moan about how your 'man' buys his wife stuff. Immature? You betcha. Selfish, too.

[Mickey_Fitzpatrick]

I suggest you go into therapy, you're a grown woman with children and are obsessed about a dress.

 

Sorry to say, but you've got to grow up, you sound like a teenager.

 

Vixee, you come across as being very naive. It is the both the tone of your posts and your apparent incredulity at the possibility that other man could lie to you. That you are so incredulous that he could buy the same dress for his wife and then lie to you about it. In the scope of deceptions, that's not really that big of one. Your deception to your husband by not telling him about your affair, or other man's to his wife about not telling her about you, both are much bigger deceptions.

 

Please don't tell me you, in fact, have told your husband, and he didn't even believe you. It just makes you look even more like a teenager.

 

When I was a teenager, I had a glass filled with vodka, and my Dad asked me, "hey, son, what are you drinking?" and I answered "vodka, Dad!" and he laughed, "oh, that's a good one, son, do you want some orange juice to mix it with?" Ha ha ha.

 

One of your earlier posts was something along the lines of "he calls me his!!" or "He says he was thinking of me for the past six years!!" or "He says I am in his heart" or "He says he has always loved me and he thinks we are soulmates!!"

 

Everything he has done has been quite easy for him to do. He takes you for coffee. He takes you shopping. He texts you. He tells you "the sweetest things ever in this whole wide world!!"

 

Vixee, guys lie to girls to get into their pants. Talk is cheap. Tell them what they want to hear to get what they want. Really, it does not cost them anything. If it works, great; if not, what was lost? He has not left his wife for you. If he was serious about being soulmates, and wanted to convince you, don't you believe he would?

 

Vixee, did you ever consider that he knew you from way back when he used to work with you, and he observed you back then, and now he kind of knows which buttons of yours to push to get the desired response? And that he kind of felt you out about what the best things to say to get you to sleep with him would be?

 

Vixee, are his advances about sexing you, or are they also about spending your lives together? If they are about spending your lives together, what kind of details have you discussed? How you would tell your spouses, your families, your children, how the divorces would go, where you would live, where you would work, how you would parent each other's children?

 

Vixee, some guys are very creepy and are fixated on specific girls.

 

How would you feel if you found out that NOTHING was a coincidence? That all of your chance meetings in different locations with different jobs or while on vacation all were arranged deliberately by him because he has been fixated on you for all these years?

[CantgetoveritNY]

The whole point is, why he wants his wife to wear the same dress as me?

 

 

I'm not saying you DID have sex with him. I'm saying you thought about it and wanted it. So you are ok with the idea of sharing his penis with his wife but you can't share a dress?! That is just twisted. I don't get it.

[CantgetoveritNY]

I suggest you go into therapy, you're a grown woman with children and are obsessed about a dress.

 

Sorry to say, but you've got to grow up, you sound like a teenager.

 

No need to denigrate the the OP! Oh, my! When I become the voice of moderation you know there are some bad actors around.

[Furious]

I'm not saying you DID have sex with him. I'm saying you thought about it and wanted it. So you are ok with the idea of sharing his penis with his wife but you can't share a dress?! That is just twisted. I don't get it.

 

 

CantgetoveritNY

 

Perhaps you should critique your own post before taking shots.

[aed]

I read through most of this thread:

 

And i know im going to sound hard

 

But you r lack of selfreflection is just hilarious. First of course you feel distanted from your hb. You are focussing on a other man! That is your choice and your own!

 

Second this man doesn't really love you, as a guy I know and reconise what you is doing. Saying sweet things to get in your pants. Just tell him: I am going to leave my hb to be with you because I love you. See how he responed.

 

Listen you letting your self getting played (and I can't believe you are not seeing it) You confuse the excitment of cheating with passion and love. When it is love: just tell your hb you want to go with the om and tell other man you want to leave your hb. Then see how real his love is.

 

When I was young I grew up I was like 8 years old, me and some friends stole some candy from a store, we did a few times and then we got busted. But those candies always tasted 'different' than the ones I could get home. And we always said they tasted good. You know what: the candy didn;t taste that good: it was the excitment around it that was so great.