Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) I went to the grocery store today. Saw this really pretty girl. Approached her and got her number. This happens a decent amount to me. I am also thinking back to 10 years ago when I wasn't that young but women were a mystery to me and I hardly ever got anywhere with them. I could really empathize with the Frustrated Guys because I had been there. Today I wouldn't say that I have all the answers but I am doing decently. I do my fair share of dating and sex is a pretty easy commodity for me. (I am ultimately looking for someone special but I haven't found her yet and in the meanwhile I am having fun.) Anyway, this is what worked for me. 1. Exciting hobbies that I love and that I enjoy and that have made me grow as a person. I joined CrossFit a few years ago and I promised I would stick with it for a year. I have and I am loving the results. My goal this year is to get my Cert and start leading classes. Anyway, see how this works? I took up something that made me grow physically and socially. Can't do much better than that when it comes to improving with women. (I am also making friends too, but that it just a result of me being friendly with people. I don't "try to make friends" though, which is the advice too many people on this forum are wont to give.) 2. Online dating. Yes, online dating. You'll get a lot of practice interacting with women in romantic situations. Send out 10 first emails a week and if 1 of those 10 respond back to you, you will be talking to a new woman every week. Until you meet someone who makes you want to stop writing first emails that is. But wait! Don't women have to respond to you first? Is 1 out of 10 even doable for a guy on LS who isn't all that tall, handsome, or rich? Well yes. What if you're short? Well, I'm short. 5'7". But I am a good writer, as is most every other guy on this forum. Also, I have pictures of me doing cool things, see 1. just above. And I have a type that isn't necessarily the hottest girl on the net. I ALSO know what to say in my emails... see 4. below. So I get a decent fraction of women to respond to me. 3. Cold approaches. Some people will say that you shouldn't bother with them. Don't listen to them. I've had decent success cold approaching. But that is because I have a decent idea of what I am doing... see 4. below, and I have things I can talk about... see 1. above. 4. Seeking help and advice from the right sources. Yes I went the PUA route for a while and got a lot of benefit from it. I learned from the right people though. (There is a lot of stuff out there that is just wrong. And there is stuff out there that is right but not for your personality type.) Anyway, from here I learned how to approach a woman and how to write a good online dating profile and first emails that get responses. How about this forum? Well, you can get a lot of info gleaning the women's stories on here and how they actually date and handle the guys who come into their lives. I'm not sure how much of it would qualify as advice that you can put into action --other than "man up and go for it". Anyway this is what I did. Hope it helps someone on here! Edited December 29, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
MrCastle Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 My dating life is...pretty good because of 1, and social circles which, interestingly enough, you didn't mention. I don't do the other 3 you listed.
somedude81 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 How did the cold approach go? Can you give a play by play?
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) My dating life is...pretty good because of 1, and social circles which, interestingly enough, you didn't mention. I don't do the other 3 you listed. Good for you. If you were to write a similar type of thread you would say something different and its cool. Everyone has their own path. When you get to be in your 30s though, more and more people your age are settling down. So it becomes much slimmer pickings. So you have to find other ways of meeting women. @Somedude: I saw her over by the salad: "Hey you should get the beets. They are really good for you especially if you work out." And then when she responded enthusiastically, I knew we were in a conversation. The thing is that I was relaxed doing it. I had a relaxed smile on my face. It was that and not necessarily my words. See after the first thing I said she was interested in talking to me, and that was what worked. Edited December 29, 2012 by Imajerk17
MrCastle Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Good for you. If you were to write a similar type of thread you would say something different and its cool. Everyone has their own path. When you get to be in your 30s though, more and more people your age are settling down. So it becomes much slimmer pickings. So you have to find other ways of meeting women. Whoa. Didn't know you were in your 30s 1
somedude81 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 @Somedude: I saw her over by the salad: "Hey you should get the beets. They are really good for you especially if you work out." And then when she responded enthusiastically, I knew we were in a conversation. The thing is that I was relaxed doing it. I had a relaxed smile on my face. It was that and not necessarily my words. See after the first thing I said she was interested in talking to me, and that was what worked. Interesting. And you turned "Hey you should get the beets. They are really good for you especially if you work out," into a phone number. It looks like sorcery to me. Not that I'm doubting you.
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) Interesting. And you turned "Hey you should get the beets. They are really good for you especially if you work out," into a phone number. It looks like sorcery to me. Not that I'm doubting you. Well she responded with something moderately enthusiastic, and then I responded by asking her a personal question that was non-invasive (about working out), and then we were in conversation. It was the relaxed confident vibe that did it, I think. If she was cold or responded indifferently then nothing would have happened. Same goes if I were too nervous. EDIT: @MrCastle: Yeah I am a ways past 30. It is a reason why I don't like the "make friends first" advice people peddle on here. I'd be curious as to how people think that is supposed to work anyway. You do need social skills but "make friends first" is a ridiculously convoluted way of going about things for guys past 30. That advice might be great for a guy in his mid-20's or younger. MIGHT. Maybe he goes out to bars with his crew and a woman in her group sees him having fun with his friends and she is interested. His crew and her group merge and perhaps good stuff happens for all involved. But you have no idea how many male "wolf-packs" I see out on a weekend night who are clearly on the prowl for women but who are also going home empty-handed. Bottom line is that if you are older, you probably have to find ways of meeting women that don't depend on your friends. Edited December 29, 2012 by Imajerk17
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