revitup Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I agree,crickets!Nothing but crickets! My STBXWW would and does send these types of texts.... Good morning Good nite Hey R U there? U OK? Everything OK? U doin OK? K Miss u I didn't answer for three months....kind of wish I never had at all.I certainly answer now,but only because I hold all of the cards now. Every time you do the opposite of what she expects you to do,you become stronger in yourself.This may seem counter-intuitive but in the end you will be a stronger man and you will understand. When they send a message and we respond,they win in their screwed up way of thinking.Kind of like when you push the button on the monkey playing cymbals and the monkey sings and dances,that's what they see when they push our buttons and we jump to it like trained monkeys. Stay strong my friend,stay strong.
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 UPDATE: Went to see my lawyer yesterday, and the text she sent me with "additions" to the original divorce agreement were MUCH DIFFERENT and written 5 days later. Anyway, she was calling me yesterday and I didn't answer. So she says "Why can't you answer when I call you?" Silence........ Then said the electric will be transferred. I said "Thank you." She said "Can we not talk like two adults?" Silence........ So question here: In Stop Your Divorce, the author suggests that you date other women. I am doing this but thought I would send something like this to stir the pot: "Just to stop the rumors in town, I am talking to 3 women. Two are texting me, one wants to meet me there in town. But the 3rd I am currently dating. Just trying to head off rumors for when people start talking." What do you think?
trippi1432 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) Sounds like poor advice from an online download self help book. Therapists tell you to get over a divorce to date many people before making a selection to your next relationship so you don't jump right into the next one. I can tell you for a definite fact that a woman participating in a divorce will divorce you with no remorse when you bring other women into the picture. Ask my exH how fast the divorce went down after a 15 year relationship on that one. It's up to you really though, if you want to put the nail in the coffin and mess your mind up. To reiterate: date many people AFTER the divorce is final!! Edited January 4, 2013 by trippi1432 Clarification
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 I posted this is another thread, but here it is: I have been NC for 2.5 weeks. She hates it that I won't answer her calls, that I answer texts "Thank you" or not at all. I just sent a text telling her "Please check mailbox, attorney is sending final divorce decree. Please return it signed asap. Thank you." She replied back "If all of the additions were tended to we will be divorced!!! Thank you." WTH?
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 She is angry (She only uses !!! when she is angry). She has been asking what the hurry is too. If she doesn't WANT a divorce then why did she say that our marriage was over?
trippi1432 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Good question...perhaps the fact that you both are soooooo dramatic that you perplex each other? 1
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Ok, I'll stop posting multiple posts, just wanted my question answered. Rev, Gunny, and other friends: I received a text from her last night complaining how I hate her, am saying things about her on FB, and talking behind her back, etc. She says she wanted to get along and if I can't well that's a burden I'll have to carry. She's complained the last week about how I won't answer her calls, can't we talk like adults, etc. I'm at the point to where I just want to text: "Do you want this divorce? YES or NO?" So, boys do I: 1. Ask her that question. OR 2. Maintain silence
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Yeah, I know.....you're right. I just get in these moods. Went to a gentlemens club last night, it only made me miss her more. Cried on the way home. I feel like such a pu$$y..... I'm glad I have you guys to talk to, though.
Yasuandio Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 It doesn't take a guy to tell you stop crying. But if ya gotta cry, then just don't let anyone see it, especially her!
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Oh nooooo way! If she saw that, I would lose all ground for sure! I hate pretending that I don't want to be with her. Then I go through spells where I say to myself "Why the HELL would you want to be with her?" She just keeps hurting me, and I take it, without issuing consequences! BUT....Since she's all mad and in an emotional upheaval about me not getting along with her, THIS means that I AM issuing the consequences doesn't it? She kept saying that she couldn't stand not having me in her life. Well, me giving her nothing but deafening silence is part of the consequences huh? Tell me I'm doing the right thing.....
UpwardForward Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) Ok, I'll stop posting multiple posts, just wanted my question answered. Rev, Gunny, and other friends: I received a text from her last night complaining how I hate her, am saying things about her on FB, and talking behind her back, etc. She says she wanted to get along and if I can't well that's a burden I'll have to carry. She's complained the last week about how I won't answer her calls, can't we talk like adults, etc. I'm at the point to where I just want to text: "Do you want this divorce? YES or NO?" So, boys do I: 1. Ask her that question. OR 2. Maintain silence Ask the Question. Divorce is a big step. Edited January 5, 2013 by UpwardForward
Gunny376 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Oh nooooo way! If she saw that, I would lose all ground for sure! I hate pretending that I don't want to be with her. Then I go through spells where I say to myself "Why the HELL would you want to be with her?" She just keeps hurting me, and I take it, without issuing consequences! BUT....Since she's all mad and in an emotional upheaval about me not getting along with her, THIS means that I AM issuing the consequences doesn't it? She kept saying that she couldn't stand not having me in her life. Well, me giving her nothing but deafening silence is part of the consequences huh? Tell me I'm doing the right thing..... In the process of growing and a maturing through Life ~ a man ~ or at least a man should evolve to the point to where he differenates very little from one woman to the other! That is to say he comes to realize that they're all are pretty much the same ~ yet they're each and everyone different? A paradox I know. Certainly one of the great mysteries of life. Any little boy ~ certainly most adolescent males are at one time in or the other simply in awe of women ~ and what and who they are. Women know this early on. But beauty is a fleeting thing. So is the allure of sex. The fact of the matter is? Once you've been to bed with one woman? You've pretty much have in essense been to bed with them all ~ there is miscule and minor differences between one from the next? Thus comes the logical progressive sex that what one has to offer ~ what one has to bring to the table? They pretty much all have ~ there is little if any differences between anyone two. This is where personality and charcther comes in to play ~ now there is the dividing difference! One or at least I certinaly have come to the point in life that I know that any woman that I get with is going to require an investment of time, effort, energy and money? Some more and others less? With this I have to balance the ROI (Return On Investment) of time, effort, energy and money ~ per the amount of crap that I've got to put up with, go through, deal with ~ and even choke that on. Which leads to the question? Is it really worth it? I've had my share of women in my time ~ of all kinds, types, etc. I've dated HBX10 ~ the daughters of millionaire, professionals (lawyers, nurses, teachers) and just your everyday women. I dated one extremely HBX10 ~ we're talking Playboy bunny material. She drove me freaking nuts! She would never shut up! And generally whatever the subject dujur was? (Usually about her damn cat! ) was what I was tortured ~ yes tortured to listen to for eight hours or more! I eventuall ran ~ yes ran the hell away from her! Most any and all women are going to "bitch test" you at one time or another. Not all ~ but most. Generally the more imature they are, the less mentally, intellectually, emotionally mature they are? The less confident and insecure they are ~ the more they're going to test you. Then again some of do it just to toy with you ~ like a cat playing with a mouse its captured. At any rate? I generally recoginze it for what it is early on ~ call them out on it ~ and let them know I don't play that game. I got kicked out of kindergarden because I was told that I had to go out to recess! I asked "What that?" ~ "That's where you go outside and play!" I told them, "Gunny DON'T play! :mad: I solved the mystery of woman ~ I understand women ~ or at least my to my own personal satisfacton. UNDESTANDING women is easy! There is no understanding women! Women don't understand women! Women themselves don't know what it is they want! They're all the same and they're each and everyone different! They're individuals. Understanding that ~ the each and own individuality and uniquess? And you begin to half way understand that particular woman. Guys that look, appear to be complete losers that know this? Is the reason that you see them with some of the hottest women there are. This is why the PUA Mystery Thundercats 5th Fith Archetype Mystery Interview by Thundercat looks and dresses the way he does. To prove that he can go into any bar and pick up any woman, or anywhere else for that matter. In short? Its a matter of caring ~ you don't care? It doesn't matter. A woman leaves a man? It means one thing and one thing only ~ he's got to go and find himself another woman? Or women! DAMN THE BAD LUCK! That's not necessarly such a bad thing! People comes and people go! There's not one monkey that makes a show! If crying couldn't make her stay? Why in tha hell do you think its going to make her comes back? OK! You screwed up ~ you've lost her? First off? You can't lose something or someone you never had to begin with! People ~ and by extension women only have as much power over you as you will let them. I had one GF who bitched tested my by breaking up with me? She was in shock in awe to see me out and about that very same Sat night walking in and walking out with another HBX10!!!! :eek: (It just so happened that I had bumped into her at the PX that morning. She was a HBX10, she was also a Woman Marine Staff Sergeant ~ who had just that very morning reported in for duty at Camp Lejeune for duty ~ ahead of her husband a Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant ~ one my all time best friends! I've been knowing them for better part of twelve years! I was just out showing her about the town etc, When I told her the deal with the GF? She hung all over me and was making "doe eyes' at me like a school girl. I looked like I was having the time of my life with her ~ and I was because I was literally laughing my azz off! :lmao: :lmao: I don't play these slilly BU games with women. I've got a lot to offer, and I a lot to bring to the table. I just don't have time to play with women. The PV (Present Value) and FV (Future Value) of thier vagina simply isn't worth the ROI (Return On Investment) of time, effort, energy, and money ~ per the amount of crap that I've got to put up with, deal with, listen to, and choke down on it. I would say that most any woman I've been with in the past would take one look at Ms. Gunny and stand there in shock and awe! :eek: :eek: But the reason I'm with her? Is because of what she's got between her ears ~ not her legs! She's rock solid, loving, caring, sharing, nuturing, adventersome, funny, exciting, mischevious, intellegent, creative, invigorating, refreshing, intellegent, informed, thrifty, frugal, artistic, romantic. She's metnally, emotionally, pyschollogically sound. stable and mature. She can be playfull and childlike ~ but in a good and positive way! She knowns and understands men, and that a man is going to be a man. She knows men like to look at other women ~ espeically naked ones. She knows men like to do men things! She defers to my judgement and decisions ~ as a man and as her man. She believes a man should be the head of his house. She believes a woman should take care of her man, (to include looking out for him ~ like getting him to eat healthier, not drink too much, at least cut down on such things as smoking etc) You guys need to go and find you one of these kind of women. 1
UpwardForward Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) We're not talking about NC involving an illicit relationship here, we're talking about your wife. Whether I think she deserves to be divorced, imo that would be poor advice on my part. So that there would be no regrets, I would ask the question. If she continues to ignore - or to derail with the blame game or making excuses - you can consider that the answer unless you get a clear cut 'No' from her. Edited January 5, 2013 by UpwardForward
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 All right boys. After a series of angry texts from her this weekend, I decided to text her back. I said: "Your texts lately seem angry. Do you want this divorce?" She texts back why am I messing with her? I said I'm not just asking. She says you ignored me, wouldn't talk to me now you want to? I said no games just wanna know. She said yes, I finally have peace, you unfriended me on FB, went on with your life, served me papers, I cannot go thru anymore, you said you were done too. So I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up. Said she just couldn't talk to me on the phone. Said I'll have to talk to her by text. So I stopped completely. An hour later...she calls. I had to call her back cuz the cable guy was there. But when I called her back, she was at her moms house. So I said we'll talk later. I sent a "Sleep well" text. I sense uncertainty on her part. I saw the way she was looking at me on stage at church yesterday. Then when she sent that first text, it was more like a ok, if you're gonna reject me then finish the rejection by changing phone accts and insurance accts. I don't think she really wants this divorce. I called my attorney to day and stopped the process. I went out on a date this weekend and it made me feel better/unconfused me about what I want/confused me more about my marriage/gave me hope for life after divorce.
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 All right boys. After a series of angry texts from her this weekend, I decided to text her back. I said: "Your texts lately seem angry. Do you want this divorce?" She texts back why am I messing with her? I said I'm not just asking. She says you ignored me, wouldn't talk to me now you want to? I said no games just wanna know. She said yes, I finally have peace, you unfriended me on FB, went on with your life, served me papers, I cannot go thru anymore, you said you were done too. So I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up. Said she just couldn't talk to me on the phone. Said I'll have to talk to her by text. So I stopped completely. An hour later...she calls. I had to call her back cuz the cable guy was there. But when I called her back, she was at her moms house. So I said we'll talk later. I sent a "Sleep well" text. I sense uncertainty on her part. I saw the way she was looking at me on stage at church yesterday. Then when she sent that first text, it was more like a ok, if you're gonna reject me then finish the rejection by changing phone accts and insurance accts. I don't think she really wants this divorce. I called my attorney to day and stopped the process. I went out on a date this weekend and it made me feel better/unconfused me about what I want/confused me more about my marriage/gave me hope for life after divorce. Tell you what? If I was ever in the same room as both of you at the same time i`d bang both your heads together and tell you both to grow the f**k up Act like kids like you are BOTH doing, be treated like kids aM
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 TURNING POINT: I'd like to preface this by saying thank you to everyone who has replied here & has given your most wonderful advice. I have reached the end. Today, my buddy informed me that my STBXW hit on him, asking to start a relationship with him. He sent me his reply to her, but this makes no difference to me. That was the last straw for me. She got rejected by him tonight, and will be rejected by me as well. The mere thought that I have to even look at her because of my kids, makes me ill. I wish I could just never look at her again for the rest of my life. I will have my lawyer send the final divorce decree in the morning and that will be it. I would never be able to trust her ever again. I will also be going to get tested for STD's as well. Thank you all.
UpwardForward Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 TURNING POINT: I'd like to preface this by saying thank you to everyone who has replied here & has given your most wonderful advice. I have reached the end. Today, my buddy informed me that my STBXW hit on him, asking to start a relationship with him. He sent me his reply to her, but this makes no difference to me. That was the last straw for me. She got rejected by him tonight, and will be rejected by me as well. The mere thought that I have to even look at her because of my kids, makes me ill. I wish I could just never look at her again for the rest of my life. I will have my lawyer send the final divorce decree in the morning and that will be it. I would never be able to trust her ever again. I will also be going to get tested for STD's as well. Thank you all. I for one appreciate it that you gave her one final opportunity to answer a Simple Question: "Do you want a divorce". And imo, it was not a mistake. I think women thrive on communication (more so than men). This is the reason she's texting and carrying on that you ignorred her. Between your ignorring her, and her 'crush' supposedly rejecting her, she's probably spinning like a top - and in frustration.
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Yes, she is just messing with me. Last night: "Oh, if you're asking if I have a boyfriend the answer is no..." I didn't ask that! Then this morning: "I know you're talking to Amber, and that's your business. Do you want to be with her, if so I'll pray that God changes her heart" BS! She was asking me if I was Amber 3 weeks ago because she DREADED me going back to her saying "I KNOW you're talking to her....you are sending pictures! I saw on the cell phone account online!" (This was the woman I left her for a little over a year ago). 5 weeks ago she told me that I better NEVER go back to Amber. A week later, "Our marriage is at an end".....WTF? Then when I don't answer her texts within 45 mins, she texts, "See, you're still playing games with me!" When I don't answer her calls, she texts "Why don't you answer when I call you?" She gets angry, sends angry texts about how I'm so mean to her, etc. This is messed up. I had my lawyer mail the final decree today. Going to the liquor store tonight.
UpwardForward Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Yes, she is just messing with me. Last night: "Oh, if you're asking if I have a boyfriend the answer is no..." I didn't ask that! Then this morning: "I know you're talking to Amber, and that's your business. Do you want to be with her, if so I'll pray that God changes her heart" BS! She was asking me if I was Amber 3 weeks ago because she DREADED me going back to her saying "I KNOW you're talking to her....you are sending pictures! I saw on the cell phone account online!" (This was the woman I left her for a little over a year ago). 5 weeks ago she told me that I better NEVER go back to Amber. A week later, "Our marriage is at an end".....WTF? Then when I don't answer her texts within 45 mins, she texts, "See, you're still playing games with me!" When I don't answer her calls, she texts "Why don't you answer when I call you?" She gets angry, sends angry texts about how I'm so mean to her, etc. This is messed up. I had my lawyer mail the final decree today. Going to the liquor store tonight. You left your wife for Amber a little over a year ago? You've both been sending each other mixed messages regarding your marriage.
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 So get this.....last night, the "crush" (OM) and I talked for a while (we're really good friends). STBXW hadn't heard from him since he rejected her Monday night. So she texts him in the afternoon: "Did you tell ________?" (insert my name into the blank.) He's having to pay his cell phone provider to block her number. Poor guy. He's sick of this, I can tell. Why the HELL would she care if he told me or not? Two scenarios: -She thinks if he doesn't tell me this time, then MAYBE----JUST MAYBE in her mind he may be having second thoughts, and might actually date her this time? -She's trying to get him to tell me so that I will just go away? -She's trying to get him to tall me to make me jealous? Which one? Keep in mind that STBXW asked him for the relationship the day AFTER I stopped ignoring her and asked her if she wanted the divorce. (OM asked me too before he told me she hit on him, if I had made any moves back toward her). Opinions?
Author Justtiredofit Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Was thinking of sending this text: "Yeah, he told me. He's also having to pay his cell phone provider now to block you from contacting him. You are pathetic."
UpwardForward Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 So get this.....last night, the "crush" (OM) and I talked for a while (we're really good friends). STBXW hadn't heard from him since he rejected her Monday night. So she texts him in the afternoon: "Did you tell ________?" (insert my name into the blank.) He's having to pay his cell phone provider to block her number. Poor guy. He's sick of this, I can tell. Why the HELL would she care if he told me or not? Two scenarios: -She thinks if he doesn't tell me this time, then MAYBE----JUST MAYBE in her mind he may be having second thoughts, and might actually date her this time? -She's trying to get him to tell me so that I will just go away? -She's trying to get him to tall me to make me jealous? Which one? Keep in mind that STBXW asked him for the relationship the day AFTER I stopped ignoring her and asked her if she wanted the divorce. (OM asked me too before he told me she hit on him, if I had made any moves back toward her). Opinions? So you messaged her: Do you want the divorce or not. Then she contacted the OM to see if she could spark his interest, before getting back to you? Sounds like she is thinking she may try to save the M, if she can't have him. But she is thinking perhaps the reason you want a D right away is because Amber is still in your life? In other words, it appears she is weighing her options. Probably she is now concerned that he is sharing with you her communication/pleas, and wondering if this is the reason you are now ignoring her?
aMguilts Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Was thinking of sending this text: "Yeah, he told me. He's also having to pay his cell phone provider now to block you from contacting him. You are pathetic." Hey justtiredofit. no wonder you have that name!. I`m getting a bit tired of it myself and i`m just reading about it Seriously, you are both as bad as each other If she sends you shi**y texts , ignore them. If you have to reply say somelike, " Until you can speak to me in a civil tone, i will not be replying" This goes for you too. If you can`t be nice in your texts or when to speak to her, don`t say anything at all. aM
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