irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I have a good friend of mine, good looking, very stable, etc. Has plenty of women he spends time with, so he's not without "dates", but it seems every woman he's been with has "flaked" on their plans, saying, "I'm turning in for the evening" And then finding their tagged photos on Facebook that very night. (excuse me while I slap you in the face with my photos, lol) Anyhow, these women, obviously single, and obviously for reasons this post was initially posted for. I am starting to think the REMAINING singles of the world are those that tend to can't make up their mind, have ADD-like symptoms of some sort, and just constantly cannot be relied upon for anything. So if you see someone that's always single, chances they can't "sit still" or get "ants in the pants" , but the dating version of "ants in the pants".
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 It probably means that they're fine being single and will happily live their lives that way until / unless the RIGHT person comes along to enhance their lives. That's healthy, not a sign of ADD. You seem to be "always single." Does your quote below describe you? I am starting to think the REMAINING singles of the world are those that tend to can't make up their mind, have ADD-like symptoms of some sort, and just constantly cannot be relied upon for anything. So if you see someone that's always single, chances they can't "sit still" or get "ants in the pants" , but the dating version of "ants in the pants".
Author irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 It probably means that they're fine being single and will happily live their lives that way until / unless the RIGHT person comes along to enhance their lives. That's healthy, not a sign of ADD. You seem to be "always single." Does your quote below describe you? Nope, I'm always single, because I'm meeting such flaky women. lol Women who have a history of flaking on their dates probably are just constant serial daters (if they do even meet up with anyone) probably wouldn't make good long term material due to their attention span being so short. And I'm sure men do it too, but add "getting sex out of it" to that factor.
truth_seeker Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 It probably means that they're fine being single and will happily live their lives that way until / unless the RIGHT person comes along to enhance their lives. You're half right. The OP is also right, too. I believe men tend to fall in the category of being happily single more so than women. Women pretend to act happy and usually put the blame on meeting "loser guys" and not themselves as the reason why they are always single. Deep down, though, women want affection, be loved and have a family.
phineas Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 What is funny about flaky people is that eventually most of them wind up engaged almost overnight when they didn't even have a BF/GF to speak of the last time you saw them. It's like they finally realize their poor behavior has put them on the path to being alone forever & they fast-track it with someone. 3
veggirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 What is funny about flaky people is that eventually most of them wind up engaged almost overnight when they didn't even have a BF/GF to speak of the last time you saw them. I was gonna say something similar. Very flaky people tend to be more impulsive, so once they actually do fall for someone, it will prob go from 0-60 in no time at all. It's all or nothing. 1
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I was gonna say something similar. Very flaky people tend to be more impulsive, so once they actually do fall for someone, it will prob go from 0-60 in no time at all. It's all or nothing. Oh that's me I am a little flaky and the other qualities but I honestly don't understand the correlation between the two.
Author irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 I was gonna say something similar. Very flaky people tend to be more impulsive, so once they actually do fall for someone, it will prob go from 0-60 in no time at all. It's all or nothing. Yeah I've seen this happen as well, threw me for a loop even when I found a couple of good friends, all of a sudden were "up and engaged or even married" One actually went a Justice of the Peace with he boyfriend, only people she told was her CLOSEST friend who had to "witness" They didn't even tell their parents. All of a sudden we saw "married" on her FB profile. Found it extremely odd. There still together after 3 years of marriage, so...we'll see.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I realize there are flaky women, but I think it's a mistake to attribute "excuses" or turned down invitations to flakiness. They probably didn't want to go out with you. I don't mean to be harsh - but if they didn't want to go out with you OR were flakes, it all comes out the same: You are better off not even giving them a second thought. I disagree that being chronically single is a result of being flaky, in most cases. Most of the women I know who are what you'd call "chronically single" are super unhappy about it and seriously want to be in a relationship. They are NOT flakes. Mostly, they just have trouble meeting a good man with whom they share mutual attraction, interests and values. In some cases, they aren't good looking women, which makes it difficult to find love in this world. The women who you see "tagged on Facebook" having fun are probably actually having more fun being single and playing than they would be going on a date with a fellow they know, deep down, is not a man for them - even if they ultimately would like to find a mate. 1
KathyM Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I think there are a lot of people who have very high standards, and they go through a lot of people in their dating life before finding the right one, and when they finally do find the right one, they want to act on it, hence the fast track. There are also people with very high standards that don't find that right one, so after dating many people, they end up settling when they want to move on to the next stage of life. Some are fortunate to find the right one early on, but for most, it takes a lot of dating and going through a lot of first dates before they find what they are looking for. 1
Woggle Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Flaky people tend to be very impulsive and do whatever they feel at the moment. 1
Ami1uwant Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 It probably means that they're fine being single and will happily live their lives that way until / unless the RIGHT person comes along to enhance their lives. This is the problem.....they are waiting for mr 110% and passing over 80-85% men the date. They are maximizers when dating. They likely have problems with themselves that they choose to ignore.
TheZebra Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 This is the problem.....they are waiting for mr 110% and passing over 80-85% men the date. They are maximizers when dating. They likely have problems with themselves that they choose to ignore. Because having standards is such a bad thing... You're right, I'll settle for a guy I'm not really into and fall into a loveless marriage like 50% of marriages in this country
xxoo Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Some people aren't cut out for relationships. They don't always recognize that about themselves, however. 1
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Some people aren't cut out for relationships. They don't always recognize that about themselves, however. What kind of people?
Woggle Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 What kind of people? Self centered kind of people who don't know what it means to truly have a life with another person. People like that should know it and not keep dragging others into their craziness.
xxoo Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 What kind of people? All kinds of different issue that keep people from successfully making a connection also keep people from successfully maintaining relationships: selfishness, shallowness, stubbornness, emotional challenges, etc.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) Some people aren't cut out for relationships. They don't always recognize that about themselves, however. I agree. Self-centered and selfish, narcissistic people who lack the ability to have empathy. They should stay the f*ck away from everyone, but the irony is that they don't and can't -- they just boomerang in and out (and then in again) of people's lives every time they feel like it. They need the attention. They can't stand being ignored, and they will lie, deceive, etc to get their way and be with someone long enough to get narcissistic supply from them, until they get bored of them and devalue & discard them, which won't happen until they've found someone new to be their narcissistic supply. Edited December 29, 2012 by NoMoreJerks 1
Woggle Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree. Self-centered and selfish, narcissistic people who lack the ability to have empathy. They should stay the f*ck away from everyone, but the irony is that they don't and can't -- they just boomerang in and out (and then in again) of people's lives every time they feel like it. They need the attention. They can't stand being ignored, and they will lie, deceive, etc to get their way and be with someone long enough to get narcissistic supply from them, until they get bored of them and devalue & discard them, which won't happen until they've found someone new to be their narcissistic supply. The sad thing is that many people are attracted to people like this. They never seem to be lacking options.
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree with you guys but I guess I'm internalizing this. In my case, I am not super trustworthy as I do flake when making plans with people, i.e. I often cancel things if I wake up not in the mood for something. Which happens more often than I'd like. Does that mean I one is selfish and self-centered? And unable to have a long term relationship? I am asking in cases where it's kind of subtle and not obvious, more or less like OP described.
MsSmurf Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I was gonna say something similar. Very flaky people tend to be more impulsive, so once they actually do fall for someone, it will prob go from 0-60 in no time at all. It's all or nothing. And then they end up with multiple divorces with no clue how it happened.
truth_seeker Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree. Self-centered and selfish, narcissistic people who lack the ability to have empathy. They should stay the f*ck away from everyone, but the irony is that they don't and can't -- they just boomerang in and out (and then in again) of people's lives every time they feel like it. They need the attention. They can't stand being ignored, and they will lie, deceive, etc to get their way and be with someone long enough to get narcissistic supply from them, until they get bored of them and devalue & discard them, which won't happen until they've found someone new to be their narcissistic supply. Wow! Now that was one hell of a response! Agree. Agree. AGREE! 1
xxoo Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree with you guys but I guess I'm internalizing this. In my case, I am not super trustworthy as I do flake when making plans with people, i.e. I often cancel things if I wake up not in the mood for something. Which happens more often than I'd like. Does that mean I one is selfish and self-centered? And unable to have a long term relationship? I am asking in cases where it's kind of subtle and not obvious, more or less like OP described. If you have difficulty making a mutual connection with a man, when others around you are successfully making connections, at some point don't you wonder if it is something about you keeping it from happening? Normal, average people fall in love all the time. Look at how many average men and women have been married multiple times. Even those who make connections easily can't usually make it last. How much more difficult might it be for those who don't make connections easily?
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 If you have difficulty making a mutual connection with a man, when others around you are successfully making connections, at some point don't you wonder if it is something about you keeping it from happening? Normal, average people fall in love all the time. Look at how many average men and women have been married multiple times. Even those who make connections easily can't usually make it last. How much more difficult might it be for those who don't make connections easily? I find connections very easy to make, but long relationships hard to maintain. Some people seem to have the ability to sail through with no drama involved. I wonder if it's because the relationship is with the right person, or because they have extremely adaptable personalities.
iris219 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I'm chronically single and I'm one of the most reliable people I know.
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