edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 As monicaelise pointed, you never had much interest to start with. Meh sex only exacerbated your unenthusiastic stance on the guy.
crude Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 You've assumed the traditional stereotype of the man. You lusted after him, got what you wanted, lost interest, and now you'll move on to a new conquest.
Author zanesfan Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 As monicaelise pointed, you never had much interest to start with. Meh sex only exacerbated your unenthusiastic stance on the guy. No I was really interested in him. I didnt snubbed him at all. We talked for hours on the phone, we had really good dates, I went home for a week and I missed him. I got home Thursday night and Friday at noon we were together. Yes, I had doubts about long term but it didnt really affect me as far as not wanting to see him. I still am opened to seeing him.. maybe I was going through the motions last night. Im not disgusted by him.. Im willing to see more of him to make sure I dont get that same vibe.
monicaelise Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 No I was really interested in him. I didnt snubbed him at all. We talked for hours on the phone, we had really good dates, I went home for a week and I missed him. I got home Thursday night and Friday at noon we were together. Yes, I had doubts about long term but it didnt really affect me as far as not wanting to see him. I still am opened to seeing him.. maybe I was going through the motions last night. Im not disgusted by him.. Im willing to see more of him to make sure I dont get that same vibe. This is not good. You sound like you're trying to convince yourself to get into this guy. This will not end well. The beginning of a relationship is when you're supposed to feel the best about the other person, they should haven't to grow on you like a fungus. Can you see yourself being married to someone you had to convince yourself you had feelings for. Why not let this be what it sounds like it should be... a friendship? Yeah, I know, our boys will tell you that being friend-zoned is the worst thing since the plague, but the way you're describing this guy, that's where he is already. My exhusband is, to this day, one of my dearest friends. My biggest mistake with him was to do with him what you're doing right now. I thought I could make it work because he is such an awesome human being. We had so many really amazing adventures and he still makes me laugh, but I never should have married him. It was as ****ty to do to him as it was to do to myself. I spent ten years feeling guilty for not feeling more, wondering what was wrong with me. I have since discovered I am a bit of a mutant in this department, but it doesn't change the fact that I gave up ten years of my life and took a decade of someone else's that I wasn't all that into.
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 This is not good. You sound like you're trying to convince yourself to get into this guy. This will not end well. The beginning of a relationship is when you're supposed to feel the best about the other person, they should haven't to grow on you like a fungus. Can you see yourself being married to someone you had to convince yourself you had feelings for. So you think that if we don't feel the spark right from the beginning, we shouldn't even try? I also lost almost 1 year 'trying' and realized that in that specific case it didn't work for me, but I still battle with the thought when I meet a cool guy that I am not crazy about. The settle for Mr. Good enough thing I guess.
iris219 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 This has happened to me in the past. I find that if I don’t really like a guy, and I mean to the point where I see myself falling in love with him and spending the rest of my life with him, I am often repulsed after hooking up (not necessarily sex) with him. It’s like the physical contact made me realize that I’m not that into him, even though I found him attractive enough to want to hook up, and that knowledge made me never want to look at him again. My advice would be to wait so that you can be sure how you really feel (beyond feelings of lust). 1
monicaelise Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) So you think that if we don't feel the spark right from the beginning, we shouldn't even try? I also lost almost 1 year 'trying' and realized that in that specific case it didn't work for me, but I still battle with the thought when I meet a cool guy that I am not crazy about. The settle for Mr. Good enough thing I guess. If it's not there, it's not there. I think if a person is genuinely ready to settle down and have a family, and that is the primary reason behind getting involved, it's a tough call. It may be prudent to "settle". There are only so many options and you have to weigh what you really want. This is one of the reasons I don't ultimately regret about having been married for so long, despite the regret I feel for allowing both of us to settle. I do like the man and he is an incredible father so it did work out on balance...but there were some very loooooong internally grey, unhappy stretches in that marriage. He was such a good friend and provider that I just ended up feeling worse and worse over time. I absolutely had to leave by the end. He has a great wife who worships the ground he walks on now, which is exactly what he deserved all along. On the other hand, if the goal is to find a life partner, this definitely not a good way to start a relationship. Things will invariably cool in even the most passionate relationship, sometimes the cooling is temporary and the spark comes back (i.e. when the kids start school and are not running you into the ground, or when they fly the coop finally) but sometimes it's gone for good. If you start a relationship with no spark, where do you go from there? Edited December 29, 2012 by monicaelise 1
Divasu Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 So after the first round of sex.. I found myself ready to aboard that horse again but he went to sleep which is common. I was patient and we had sex again. I wanted to ride and he knew this but again he was in control. No prob. The third round ended abruptly due to reasons I won't say haha. But it was my fault. Slow down there Tiger. It almost sounds as if you're trying to cram in years worth of sex in one night? but I was a little weirded out that he likes his ass to be rubbed and smacked. I do this anyway but he is turned on by it. That's a bit...different.
Recommended Posts