irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Don't get me wrong, I was finally able to get a woman to respond to me online...we have been chatting on the phone and via email a few times, I finally asked her out mid-week to go out Saturday, she was all game and had agreed to meet up with me. Said she had shopping planned with her sister's on Sat afternoon, so more than likely be able to meet me in the evening, she just wanted to see how her sister's plans were. Got an email today, "Hi, I'm not feeling too well today (here we go...again), I thought I was having a headache, but I think it's something more...going to camp out on the couch today (Friday, which is today), in hopes I'll feel better by tomorrow...can you call me tomorrow to see if I feel well enough to meet up? I'm sure I'll be fine, but thought I'd give you a heads up!" I'd rather be told "I'm sorry, I'm sick, don't think I can make it...so I'll have to cancel" Rather than giving me a "Heads up" about how she'll be today, compared to yesterday....in a premeditated manner. Not sure how that translates in my head "Hi, figured I'd tell you I'm kind of sick now, I could be too sick tomorrow for our date, but I might be better by tomorrow....so figured I'd let you know" It's like they'd prefer to do it in THIS fashion, that way come the time of the "meet", it's EASIER to cancel, because they've given you fair warning the day before about their illness. Agree, disagree?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Why don't you wait to see if she cancels tomorrow, and if she offers up an alternative date/time, before you pass judgment on her....
Author irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 Why don't you wait to see if she cancels tomorrow, and if she offers up an alternative date/time, before you pass judgment on her.... I dunno, I'm finding it very hard these days to NOT pass judgement on people I meet online. I just feel like I'm being sucked in...yet...again! This isn't the first time it's happened.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I dunno, I'm finding it very hard these days to NOT pass judgement on people I meet online. I just feel like I'm being sucked in...yet...again! This isn't the first time it's happened. Well, it is the time of year when people get sick. One of my exs (together for a few years), cancelled our first date because she was sick. Chill till tomorrow, and step away from LS for a while, I'm sure it's helping to make you paranoid.
charlietheginger Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I met a women for coffe we chatted. She wanted dinner i went had fun. 3rd date i canceled ... No bs excuses just told her the truth Im sick to my stomach i miss my wife And wasnt ready to move on i cry alot and still im broken hearted although The split was for the best im a little to emotional To take any relationship on thought i was ready Apparently not. She understood. I find honesty is the best policy in most cases
Nightsky Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Stay away from the online dating. I mean if you use it don't rely on it. cmon man. You got this!
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I would move on. I seriously think it's a lie in 99% of the cases. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Reading threads like this reminds me how glad I am that I'm no longer doing online dating. From experience, I can tell you the first two excuses are usually forgiven in terms of giving the person benefit of the doubt. But if excuses are becoming a pattern, you know the person is a pathological liar and just simply being lazy to want to date. The former is clue enough for you to bail. As much as it is nice to set up a date with a woman you like, you should always have back up plans in case she cancels out. Most importantly, you should know your limit to how much excuses you're willing to accept before you tell them sayonara. As a woman, I can tell you, it is a good slap to the face for good reasons to be told what we're doing wrong.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I would move on. I seriously think it's a lie in 99% of the cases. ES you need stop Doing OLD for a while or something, you have seemed really jaded lately.
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I say give her a chance, maybe she is being sincere - these things happen. I bailed out on this guy twice in the last 2 weeks. My excuses sound really lame although they were real. I think he gave up on me because he didn't contact me before the supposed 3rd tentative day we'd say we meet. It's a shame, because I was quite interested in him but life got in the way.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 ES you need stop Doing OLD for a while or something, you have seemed really jaded lately. I had one really bad experience recently where I actually liked the guy. I will get over it
SunsetRed Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I was having my first phone conversation w an online guy and 10 minutes into the conversation he says "Hey, I hate to be rude, but I've got to run an imp errand, can I call you right back?" I say sure...he never calls. 3 weeks later I get a message from him in my OLD inbox. Message says.. UR HOTT, Want 2 chat? I message back, "Hey, we've already spoken, you said you'd call back and then bailed." He messages back "oh, that was you. I got really really sick, that's why I couldn't call you" BS I told him I was no longer interested. 1
goldengirl11 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I was having my first phone conversation w an online guy and 10 minutes into the conversation he says "Hey, I hate to be rude, but I've got to run an imp errand, can I call you right back?" I say sure...he never calls. 3 weeks later I get a message from him in my OLD inbox. Message says.. UR HOTT, Want 2 chat? I message back, "Hey, we've already spoken, you said you'd call back and then bailed." He messages back "oh, that was you. I got really really sick, that's why I couldn't call you" BS I told him I was no longer interested. That's strange!
soccerrprp Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Never experienced such a thing and have good success OLD, but this does sound like a blow off. I must admit, with all of the potential profiles, it is clear that people go from "this" one to "that" one at a moments notice.
phineas Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 This is why I NEVER make plans with any woman over the weekend who isn't my GF. Especially OLD women. Too much flaking & if I want to keep a babysitter I still have to pay her something if the woman cancels last minute. If they can't meet during the week then our schedules will end up conflicting and it won't work out. Call her tonight, when she cancels tell her "no problem" & to let you know when she is feeling better if she doesn't try to reschedule. Then forget about her. A woman truly interested will reschedule because knows quality men have options & will be exploring them in the meanwhile.
Author irc333 Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 Well, good news...looks like we're still on....she was just kind of resting yesterday after being so busy with the holidays. Plans have been firmed up. 5
phineas Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Well, good news...looks like we're still on....she was just kind of resting yesterday after being so busy with the holidays. Plans have been firmed up. GOOD! 10 characters.
Casablanca Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Never experienced such a thing and have good success OLD, but this does sound like a blow off. I must admit, with all of the potential profiles, it is clear that people go from "this" one to "that" one at a moments notice. Same here, I've had a few flakes, but I've had just as many from women I meet at parties, in class (well when I went to school), work, etc. I've also stopped talking on the phone until I've met them (I use to love talking till late, but either I've gotten bad at it, or the women I would talk to wouldn't be fully into the conversation and it was just meh), I prefer after a couple emails to meet for a coffee or a drink to see if there is any chemistry...it is low risk, low cost, if she bails, no biggie, if she never answers my calls for a second/first date (depending on how you look at it), no biggie
PogoStick Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 It would only be fitting that she really is getting sick and ends up giving it to the OP. Then she can dump him "for making excuses" when he cancels next week for being sick.
IT Geek Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Stay away from the online dating. I mean if you use it don't rely on it. cmon man. You got this! For guys who have no social skills when it comes to meeting new women, it's our only option...
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