Catplates Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'm so in love with you BUT I still love my husband. I've never felt such a connection with anyone like this, not even my husband. I still care for you deeply (when it was over). I'm probably making the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go (this one is my favorite). How about... "I'd love to be with you but just not able to at this time. If the time ever comes, I will be with you foreve and never leave you" What a horrible thought that is to me now, cat.
watergirl12 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) And you know this because his lying, cheating ass told you or because you lived with them for 25 years?? Yea didn't see that bitter response coming like a freight train. You mean to tell me there is no such thing as a sexless marriage??? GASP! Anyone who thinks that, I have a bridge to sell them. Having been in a sexless marriage myself, there are some things that you just can't fake. If my husband got an OW and told her that I didn't have sex with him for 2 years, he wouldn't of been lying. I have been on BS boards where a BS has said: "so what if I haven't slept wiht him in 5 years! It doesn't give him the right to cheat!" Um, yea it does. Anyone who thinks that all BS have never contributed to the failings of their marriage, who have never committed any marital sins themselves, are just looking to be angry at someone and not really wanting to understand the true nature of these relationships. Yes, there are some very good, loving spouses getting cheated on, and that is wrong. But there are also bad spouses getting cheated on, clueless spouses, spouses that just don't care, some that are just all around crazy. On reason that a BS will never be able to wrap their head around is that sometimes the affairs having nothing to do with the marriage at all. Just like each marriage is individual, so are the affairs. It makes life easier to handle to put everything in one, neat little box, but it doesn't work that way. Edited January 6, 2013 by watergirl12 1
watergirl12 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Alice2012 sez: He wants you to mirror it back. It's not about you, but about HIM getting adoration. He puts you on a pedestal because he's hoping you'll do the same for him. That makes it easier to let him go. He's never said a disparaging thing about his wife, except that he misses the sex. There's lots of women that want that romance thang - so I am sure he's not going to take it badly and will find someone more suitable for his needs. It seems to me - that there are just a lot of people that want that old feeling of being in love back in their lives. That is a common mistake that A LOT of couples, of all kinds of relationships, make. And on average, it only lasts about a year. I personally don't care for that silly infatuation stage. It is nature's design to get you to reproduce. They tend to think of that phase as the phase of true love. That it is only love if you can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop thinking of them. When in reality, the later stage, is a lot more secure, and deeper. It is more secure because you don't feel this crazy urge to call someone a hundred times a day to make sure they still love you and are there. You already know at the secure stage, you call once to see what they want for dinner. Sometimes I think couples should be required pre marital counseling, just to explain these things to them. So they can that the change is a good change, that it DOESN'T mean they are falling out of love, like I see so many couple interpreting it.
HonestNeurotic Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 watergirl12 sez - It is nature's design to get you to reproduce. I don't think we'd reproduce if it weren't for hormones and lust. However, how do we explain that need once we're older. In menopausal stages? And for sexless marriages - yes they do exist. I knew that going in with mine, and sex is truly not the GREAT BIG THING that I married him for. I will also say that my ex husband was a sex addict, but I let him have it as much as he wanted it. He never strayed. The major complaint I hear from men is the lack of sex after marriage for a long time. They wouldn't stray if they had more of it at home. I'm pretty sure of that. Alas, somehow that subject becomes the elephant in the room and they don't know how to talk to each other about it anymore. I'm hoping that the MM I had a dalliance with will broach the subject with his wife because maybe she too would like to be loved like that again.
Elfie Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Lines used on me by a MM with kids who have grown up and left home, but still sees them (though 2 are estranged, unsurprisingly) and sees the grandchildren: "It's the family" "It's the memories" "I'm not saying I love her, I'm not saying I don't..." "It's complicated" "She's got a bad back, I've stopped trying to get close" "She says she's fat" So why not make her feel gorgeous?? The use of the word "lines" in the post title doesn't really need the letter "n" in it does it....?
promises Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 1. You're so beautiful (sweet, sexy, smart, gorgeous, blah blah blah) 2. You make me happy 3. I want to be with you, know you, hold you when you are cold 4. Don't be scared, I love you 5. I'm her puppet 6. I married too early I should have not been so rushed 7. We never have sex, she thinks I am gross 1. You changed my life, I miss my life 2. I loved your letters, and your words not reality 3. I miss my wife Random breaks in NC 1. I miss your kiss 2. You're so sexy 3. I'm so proud of you 4. You're so pretty 5. I want to hump you (yes he said that)
Catplates Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Alice2012 sez: He wants you to mirror it back. It's not about you, but about HIM getting adoration. He puts you on a pedestal because he's hoping you'll do the same for him. That makes it easier to let him go. He's never said a disparaging thing about his wife, except that he misses the sex. There's lots of women that want that romance thang - so I am sure he's not going to take it badly and will find someone more suitable for his needs. It seems to me - that there are just a lot of people that want that old feeling of being in love back in their lives. that is a nice feeling.
Realist3 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Some of them may be "lines", but perhaps the reason they are common is because humans feel things and express things in a common manner. Just because they are common does not make them any less true. 2
loredo21 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 "I want to lock you in a room all day and only leave to make the Pizza guy uncomfortable when we answer the door"....hahaha. i liked that one.
promises Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 "I want to lock you in a room all day and only leave to make the Pizza guy uncomfortable when we answer the door"....hahaha. i liked that one. Ha! How about, 'I want to spend a day with you completely naked.' Wow, sounds fun... Or 50 shades of uncomfortable..... 2
stevie_23 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 You are my best friend, the only person I’ve ever really been able to talk to I never imagined that love could be so deep, so amazing You are the love of my life, and I can’t live without you We are connected on a spiritual level that transcends time. We have probably been in love for lifetimes, we are twin souls and we will always be together All of the above are things copied from previous posts, and my ex-MM said those things. And this is what he said when he left me, also copied from a previous post. You will always be the love of my life, I will never stop loving you. He said many other things too, all along similar lines. So similar I can’t be bothered writing them down. I believe they meant these words at the time. The sentiments simply come from love and infatuation…romantic notions typical when someone is in love. Doesn’t mean they will last forever and doesn’t mean, when they DON’T last forever, that they weren’t sincere at the time.
stevie_23 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 That's very true about common expressions. Does it make it meaningless or invalid if a husband tells his wife he loves her because he's said it every day for the last 20 years? I certainly don't think so. But an additional interesting question, does it make it invalid once it's said to someone else? I don't think it makes it invalid if it's said to someone else. It all comes from feelings. If the feelings are genuine, they will be expressed in words, no matter who they're to.
Recommended Posts