New Year's Wishes

[Pinky777]

I’m debating on sending my ex a Happy New Year’s card. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and remain on friendly terms – we have been texting/calling to catch up every week or two, keeping it light and avoiding any “us” talk. I refuse to go there. My feelings for him are still strong and I miss him a lot, but every day that goes by I’m beginning to accept the fact that we aren’t getting back together. We are both previously divorced and our relationship was something of a rebound, but we got very close and shared a lot and I do hope to develop a true friendship with him in the future. I have one or two exes that are still in my life, I’m not one to cut ties with someone I care about. I truly feel this guy is meant to be in my life, we had the most amazing connection I’ve ever felt with anyone.

That said, I think after the new year I will take some time to go NC from him and go my own way for a while. I wanted to see if it was a bad idea to send him a New Year’s card? Short and sweet, wishing him the best for the New Year, telling him that I’ll always remember the good times, and that I’m glad he became a part of my life. I mean these things sincerely. I have it written out and ready to go. I’m not doing it just to try to get him back, I just want to let him know I care, I’m afraid during our relationship I didn’t let him know how much I appreciated him. I guess I figured he’d always be there. If we do wind up getting back together of course I’d be thrilled – provided the problems we had during the relationship could be worked out. I’m not holding out much hope though because in general people don’t change.

 

So is it weird to send him a hand-written card for New Year’s in the mail? does what I want to say sound desperate? I feel like no one sends cards anymore and he might be touched. Then again he might be uncomfortable. I’m probably gonna just send him a generic Happy New Year’s text like everyone else and leave it at that.

Edited December 28, 2012 by Pinky777

[Gaby]

Yes just send him a text tru phone,nothing personal just casual like you would do to anyone else..

[Gottabestrong]

Hi Pinky,

I think there is nothing wrong with sending him the card if you don't expect anything in return and you are not worried about him thinking that you are chasing after him. (Even if you are not, he might think so).

 

Some people need closure before they start NC and there is nothing wrong with telling someone goodbye before you do.

 

I sent my ex a text 5 days ago telling him that I would stop talking to him for a while since I need some space and can't be his friend at this time. In this text I also wishes him a Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday and Happy New Year. That way I did not feel bad when he sent me a "Merry Christmas' text and I did not reply.

 

Do whatever will make you feel better!

[Pinky777]

Thanks guys. I don't think I will send it, because I'm really sending it more for his benefit than my own healing. I want him to know that I still care and not forget about me, but I'm sure he knows that without me having to say it. I don't know what I'm expecting, I doubt he will respond what is there to say? I will text him with something heartfelt and simlple on NYE, he might respond, he might not. Then I begin the process of letting go. I don't want to, but just me agonizing over whether to send someone a card is probably reason enough I shouldn't. It's become too calculated. I don't yet know if I want to tell him I am doing NC or just live my life and let things take their course. Every time we have been in contact, I have initiated it, except for the first time. I text and then he calls though, which kinda throws me. Well if he's meant to be in my life, he will be there again one day.

[LostOne1]

Thanks guys. I don't think I will send it, because I'm really sending it more for his benefit than my own healing. I want him to know that I still care and not forget about me, but I'm sure he knows that without me having to say it. I don't know what I'm expecting, I doubt he will respond what is there to say? I will text him with something heartfelt and simlple on NYE, he might respond, he might not. Then I begin the process of letting go. I don't want to, but just me agonizing over whether to send someone a card is probably reason enough I shouldn't. It's become too calculated. I don't yet know if I want to tell him I am doing NC or just live my life and let things take their course. Every time we have been in contact, I have initiated it, except for the first time. I text and then he calls though, which kinda throws me. Well if he's meant to be in my life, he will be there again one day.

 

Yeah I would advise against sending him anything or contacting him. If he misses you enough and realizes he loves you.. then HE will be the one to come back to you. You running off to him gives him the impression he still has you.. and no one wants that at all.

 

I mean when we know someone is there for us... I think we take it for granted over time. When we lose them.. we slowly realize how we miss them.

 

To be honest, I wish my ex would come back too at some point. But I know it won't happen. Not sure if she misses me a lot or not, but at the end of the day it is what it is and we can't do anything about it.

 

Trust me sending things will do no good. I did letters, video's etc.. NONE of it made a difference to my ex at all. It was pointless and here I thought it would show her I care and want to put in some effort. But it didn't show anything I think... or maybe it showed desperation. In the end my ex told me to have some self respect and leave her alone. Since then I have NOT contacted her and it's been almost 2 months NC and about 5 months since we have last seen each other and been apart.

 

It is tough, but it DOES get better slowly. I'm A LOT better than I was a few months ago. I was miserable then, but I am slowly realizing I can't stop my life or feel sorry for myself or just rot away because of her leaving me. There are lots of girls out there, who would LOVE to be with a guy like me and I know it. My ex always told me that too and I know it's true. My ex just lost sight of my good qualities and it's changed her perception of me. And that's fine, because I don't expect to win everyone over in this world.

 

There will be some people who like me and some who will hate me. It's normal we won't always like everyone. We just have to be happy with ourselves and know we do our best and someone out there will see our good qualities once again.

[Pinky777]

Yeah he knows where he can find me if he wants me. Since the day we met, he hasn't ever had a chance to miss me and really see what life is like without me. I don't see a romantic reconciliation in the cards, at least not anytime soon but even if I want a friendship, or a chance at romance again in the future, I need to move on and reestablish my life and confidence first. This relationship is broken, this one did not work and we both need our space for a bit. Going NC is scary because I'm afraid if I don't stay in touch I will never hear from him again. I don't think he'd do it purposely but who knows. And then I'll worry that he doesnt' care and never did and that everything he ever told me is a lie. But I look at all the stories here and see how much better people do with NC. Letting go is so hard but hanging on is hard too.