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Posted
It hurts terribly when you finally let go of your fears and put your trust in someone only to have them betray you or leave you. I hadn't been with my ex-bf for as long as you but I loved him more completely than I ever loved anyone else in my life, including my ex-husband. I did not think that was possible but when I met him I fell for him almost instantly. He does not feel the same. The pain is still there but it's gotten a lot better. It will for you too. I know how cliche that sounds but it is true. It wont be tomorrow or next month but it will get easier, with time.

 

A very sad fact of life is that bad things happen to good people. I wish it wasn't so but it's not a reflecion on you, people are fallible and they hurt the ones they love, whether they mean to or not. When you are ready, the next woman you do meet will be incredibly lucky to have found you. You are kind and articulate, you have a great career and you are a true romantic. You have so much life to live still at 36. You just stay true to yourself take care of yourself and your son, talk to people, post here, be with friends. I hope you find some relief.

 

 

Since this happened, everyone I know...including her sister and kids have been texting me to tell me they are sorry....that they knew and saw how much I loved her and how well I treated her, and that they don't understand either...that all she talked about was how much she loved me and how excited she was to be getting married to man who was so plain with showing the world how much I adored her.

 

My friends say I'm a true romantic, but not a hopeless one despite how I feel right now.

 

All I can say is that I desperately want my sweetheart back. she was my angel...and now she's gone.

Posted

Dear Crash,

I am so sorry for the pain you are in. I really feel for you.

 

Not sure what you decided to do, but I would advise you not to contact her again until you hear from her. You have contacted her a few times already, telling her that you need an explanation for what happened and that you are truly hurting. You might think that telling her again will make her change her mind or give you an explanation, but I am afraid it might push her further away.

 

So I suggest to do whatever you can to keep your sanity and not contact for at least a week. If by then you have not heard from her, send her a short non-emotional email asking her for a meeting or an email to explain why she changed her mind so suddenly and what the reasons are for the breakup. Try to not be emotional or demanding in your email as it might only make her retreat even more and not give you the answers you need.

 

Again, I am so sorry, but I promise you will survive, even if you might not feel that way right now.

 

Stay strong for you and your son!

Posted

Hey,

I haven't read all of this, but I don't think it is over.

 

I think you made her feel smothered, so she pulled back.

 

I think she is taking advantage of her greater experience and playing you a little. Not intentionally.

 

But the reality is that you are hurting WAY MORE than she is right now.

 

And you are a great catch.

 

 

Just because someone loves you and adores you is no reason to withdraw, e.g. she doesn't even want to be there when you pick up your stuff.

 

Just because she is super special to you (really really special), doesn't mean she can walk all over you.

 

Plus she may be having cold feet about the wedding/getting married.

 

Some people have some strange ideas. Just because you are younger, doesn't mean you are to be yanked around like this.

 

Hugs.

Posted

Crash, I feel your pain, I really do. You sound like an incredible guy, like any woman would be so happy to have someone as loving and romantic as you. You seem so dedicated and sincere. And it seems like such a waste now, doesn't it :( I am so sorry. I will never understand how people just up and leave like this.

  • Author
Posted
Crash, I feel your pain, I really do. You sound like an incredible guy, like any woman would be so happy to have someone as loving and romantic as you. You seem so dedicated and sincere. And it seems like such a waste now, doesn't it :( I am so sorry. I will never understand how people just up and leave like this.

 

Thank you. Yes, i can honestly say i treated her very well, and absolutely adored her.

 

I would have never done anything to hurt her, and tried everyday to make sure she knew she was loved and most importantly, accepted.

 

I just dont know how she could do this...she has to know this would devastate me.

  • Author
Posted
Hey,

I haven't read all of this, but I don't think it is over.

 

I think you made her feel smothered, so she pulled back.

 

I think she is taking advantage of her greater experience and playing you a little. Not intentionally.

 

But the reality is that you are hurting WAY MORE than she is right now.

 

And you are a great catch.

 

 

Just because someone loves you and adores you is no reason to withdraw, e.g. she doesn't even want to be there when you pick up your stuff.

 

Just because she is super special to you (really really special), doesn't mean she can walk all over you.

 

Plus she may be having cold feet about the wedding/getting married.

 

Some people have some strange ideas. Just because you are younger, doesn't mean you are to be yanked around like this.

 

Hugs.

 

 

I think shes done, shes already told her kids and her family back in Alaska.

Posted

Did she end up sending the email and telling you why?

  • Author
Posted
Dear Crash,

I am so sorry for the pain you are in. I really feel for you.

 

Not sure what you decided to do, but I would advise you not to contact her again until you hear from her. You have contacted her a few times already, telling her that you need an explanation for what happened and that you are truly hurting. You might think that telling her again will make her change her mind or give you an explanation, but I am afraid it might push her further away.

 

So I suggest to do whatever you can to keep your sanity and not contact for at least a week. If by then you have not heard from her, send her a short non-emotional email asking her for a meeting or an email to explain why she changed her mind so suddenly and what the reasons are for the breakup. Try to not be emotional or demanding in your email as it might only make her retreat even more and not give you the answers you need.

 

Again, I am so sorry, but I promise you will survive, even if you might not feel that way right now.

 

Stay strong for you and your son!

 

I do not plan to contact her again until she is ready to explain why she feels justified in breaking my heart like this over a MINOR disagreement...that wasnt really a disagreement in my mind.

 

Of all the ways i showed her i love her...hell...half her house if my handiwork...anything needed fixing, i fixed it. I helped her buy her car, put new tires on it for her, etc. Hell, im the one that picked out the house while she was on a trip to AK.

 

Ive done SO much, random flowers just to say i love you, etc....to think its all now not worth anything...just hurst SO much.

  • Author
Posted
Did she end up sending the email and telling you why?

 

No, she said "I will explain in more detail in an email later. This is very hard for me."

Posted

Then all you can do is wait, and grieve. Contact her again in a week if she hasn't written.

 

I am so sorry for you. Wish I could do something.

  • Author
Posted
Then all you can do is wait, and grieve. Contact her again in a week if she hasn't written.

 

I am so sorry for you. Wish I could do something.

 

 

that is what I will do.

 

I have never before known heartache like this. It's terrible...I wouldnt wish this on the most evil of persons, because its just too cruel.

 

26 hours ago, I was walking on clouds knowing my baby loved me...I made a heartfelt entry to her in the "Adventure Journal" she gave me, and I was so SO deeply in love with her.

 

Now here I sit. alone. broken. destroyed. Wishing to GOD that he will fix this and make things better....like I did for her on christmas eve.

 

she told me "No matter how overwhelmed I feel, when you show up, it makes it feel like everything is going to be okay." That is what I need right now. I need my sweetheart to come over and make me feel like everything is okay again.

 

She was my companion...my partner...my lover...my friend...my angel...and my heart. I need her SO bad right now....I need her to come and fix my broken heart.

 

I am SO sorry I could not make her happy...and am SO sorry she is hurting too. If God would be willing, I would take her burden and make it my own as the last gesture of love I could show her. She deserves to find happiness and love....even if it is not with me....but God...I wish it could have been.

 

I feel SO hollow without her. She was my life and my future...she was my love.

Posted

Well, it doesn't help your situation any, but you are not the only person who is crushed and crying over lost love.

 

Try to get some sleep if it's night where you are. Or get out in the fresh air if it's daytime.

 

And ask for help! Friend, counselor, etc.

 

I wish you the best.

Posted

What I have come to realise is that the person who loves the most is at risk of being the most hurt, usually. The ones with te softest, kindest hearts get destroyed. I adored and loved my ex with all my heart and look where that got me. I was always the one doing and saying things to show my love. What a waste of a heart.

  • Author
Posted
What I have come to realise is that the person who loves the most is at risk of being the most hurt, usually. The ones with te softest, kindest hearts get destroyed. I adored and loved my ex with all my heart and look where that got me. I was always the one doing and saying things to show my love. What a waste of a heart.

 

 

 

That is what people say about me...i have a soft, kind heart.

 

she sent the email. doesnt really answer my question, other than she said she made this decision not be cause she does not love me, but because she feels what I want and what she can offer me is not compatible.

 

"I have done my best to show you love, attention, and affection but I frequently endured hounding and scolding and arguing that it wasn’t enough. I told you I wasn’t able to do more than I did and you seemed to believe if you just fussed and argued and then belligerently demanded that I meet your expectations that somehow I would come up with more time for you. I am unwilling to debate the nuances of the argument. We have done that for years. I know you are often patient and supportive…but then you turn. That’s part of what makes this untenable for me. I have been deeply hurt by your treatment of me when you don’t get what you want exactly when you want it. You verbally and emotionally bully me and I am no longer willing to be patient."

 

This actually leaves me with MORE questions...because I do NOT feel like I verbally or emotionally abused her or bullied her to get what I want.

 

However, if she felt that way, why didnt she TELL me for God's sake...tell me so I could have done something different instead of just letting her resentment build up to the point where she felt she had to end our relationship?

 

I dunno...perhaps I need to be more introspective, and really analyze what she's saying here....perhaps she really DID interpret what I said as attempting to bully her? I dont see HOW, but maybe I need to really look at that?

 

I dont know that to make of this part:

 

"My family loves you and so do I. I treasure many of our memories. I am willing to be a friend to you forever, if that is possible…maybe in time. I will text you next week or so to let you know when you can come and get your things out of the house and shed and freezer and then leave your key."

 

except hey..you screwed up and lost me...come get your stuff and leave the key to my house when I ask you to.

 

She's done. My baby is gone.......

Posted

Okay..... From what I can tell is that you and her love differently. You seem more open with affections and being romantic, and she not so much? Is that the case? That is not a problem in itself but maybe there were times when you'd asked her to show you more affection and that is just not the way she loves. It is like my ex, I am very affectionate and romantic, much like yourself, and she is not. I didn't feel that I pressured her into being more romantic, but many times I asked for more attention/time from her which probably drove her away in the end as what she was prepared to give was less than I ultimately wanted. However, I agree with you; why did she not tell you this during the relationship so you could work on it? If she had said "look, I'm feeling pressured here and I would appreciate some space so we can get back on track". If they don't say anything and bottle it up and then one day come out and say "it's over!" Then they've already made that decision final and theres no chance of even fixing it.

  • Author
Posted
Okay..... From what I can tell is that you and her love differently. You seem more open with affections and being romantic, and she not so much? Is that the case? That is not a problem in itself but maybe there were times when you'd asked her to show you more affection and that is just not the way she loves. It is like my ex, I am very affectionate and romantic, much like yourself, and she is not. I didn't feel that I pressured her into being more romantic, but many times I asked for more attention/time from her which probably drove her away in the end as what she was prepared to give was less than I ultimately wanted. However, I agree with you; why did she not tell you this during the relationship so you could work on it? If she had said "look, I'm feeling pressured here and I would appreciate some space so we can get back on track". If they don't say anything and bottle it up and then one day come out and say "it's over!" Then they've already made that decision final and theres no chance of even fixing it.

 

 

yes, she was more reserved, but always said she LIKED the fact that I was so open with my love for her.

 

That's my point...if she would have TOLD me "look, I really like how you love spending time with me, but I need a bit of space for a while" I would have TOTALLY understood that.

 

In fact, I frequently OFFERED her to cancel our plans if she sounded tired, etc "You know sweetheart, you sound really tired. Do you need to just stay home and take care of yourself?" etc.

 

I sent a quick reply to her email with a single statement: "Should I not be the one to judge whether or not what you can offer is good enough for me?"

 

Oh well, she kept her word and i guess I should be grateful for that.

 

Doesnt make the pain any better though.....I'm still absolutely crushed and empty.

 

My heart...the woman I loved.

Posted

I cannot express how much i feel your pain. Im still struggling to accept the end of a relationship as well. Its especially harder when i had no idea what happened to cause it to end. Im still trying to figure that out but it just gets worse and worse trying to figure out another persons mind and what caused that decision.

Talking it out really helps so im so glad that you have made the decision to come on here! it took me 2 weeks of crying and moping around to find this site. At the very least you know you are not alone.

i could not tell you what she's thinking but it seems like she was under alot of pressure and suppressing everything. Then when she exploded it was you she chose to take it out on.

A similar situation happened to me as well. i guess he rather cut me out of his life cause he couldnt cut his family or friends and i was the easiest to cut off. I know everyone always says time will heal the pain, im for one refuse to believe it cause everyday seems harder and harder. however i think that what comes with time is acceptance. You will no doubt go through so many emotions in the next few weeks. you will probably feel anger at one point and thinking why did she do this to me. But i believe one day you will realise that theres nothing you can do to get her back or change the situation. Before this you will probably try find every possible way to get her back =(

 

I hope you can try to think of some possible positives of this, eg: it was better she hurt you now then marry you and end it after that.

  • Author
Posted
I cannot express how much i feel your pain. Im still struggling to accept the end of a relationship as well. Its especially harder when i had no idea what happened to cause it to end. Im still trying to figure that out but it just gets worse and worse trying to figure out another persons mind and what caused that decision.

Talking it out really helps so im so glad that you have made the decision to come on here! it took me 2 weeks of crying and moping around to find this site. At the very least you know you are not alone.

i could not tell you what she's thinking but it seems like she was under alot of pressure and suppressing everything. Then when she exploded it was you she chose to take it out on.

A similar situation happened to me as well. i guess he rather cut me out of his life cause he couldnt cut his family or friends and i was the easiest to cut off. I know everyone always says time will heal the pain, im for one refuse to believe it cause everyday seems harder and harder. however i think that what comes with time is acceptance. You will no doubt go through so many emotions in the next few weeks. you will probably feel anger at one point and thinking why did she do this to me. But i believe one day you will realise that theres nothing you can do to get her back or change the situation. Before this you will probably try find every possible way to get her back =(

 

I hope you can try to think of some possible positives of this, eg: it was better she hurt you now then marry you and end it after that.

 

 

I guess i just dont do the "angry" stage. I dont see any purpose in trying to tear apart the woman I loved for 5 years in some fake attempt to force myself to get over her sooner.

 

I loved her...and STILL love her. a LARGE part of me always will. I cannot possibly give our entire background here, but trust me...she was THE most influential person in my life. I will add another post with a little background on us so you can see WHY the bond between us was SO strong.

 

I'm not mad at her. I'm sad I wasn't good enough..and that the immense love I felt for her was enough to make her feel loved enough to overlook my apparent flaws.

  • Author
Posted

I met her after 3 years of being completely alone..by choice..after the end of my divorce to my ex wife. I will spare everyone the minute details of how we got started.

 

a few months in, we found out she had breast cancer. Chemo, lumpectomy, the whole nine yards. The chemo made her so weak, i was afraid I would lose her. I would go to her house early in the morning to make her breakfast and feed it to her because she was too weak to lift the fork. Then, i would carry her to the bathtub, give her a bath, dress her, and then carry her back to her bed.

 

Her kids would watch after her after school, when the private nurse would leave, and until I got home from work. My son and I would help clean up the house, I'd cook dinner, feed her...carry her to take another bath and back to her bed again, and then stroke her hair until she finally fell asleep because she was in constant pain.

 

during this time, I feel DEEPLY in love with her...as during the many hours I was sitting next to her in her bed as she talked to me, I realized she was an absolutely FASCINATING woman. We were dating, yeah...but I suddenly realized I LOVED her.

 

thank the Lord above, she recovered...fully. Six months later, I was rear-ended by an 18-wheeler while on my way home from the hospital where we both worked. (we were both nurses on the same unit..before she quit to open her own counseling business). I was instantly paralyzed from the neck down.

 

My truck's OnStar called 911. When she heard from the ER it was me...she left her job...and drove her own car out to where the accident was. She was the first person on the scene...and she took one look at me and burst into tears. I was bleeding, had a broken right leg, left arm, and a broken neck.

 

I spent three months completely paralyzed. Four surgeries later, the orthopedic surgeon and neurologist were able to remove enough bone fragments to allow my spinal cord to decompress, and I was slowly able to move my arms and legs again.

 

I spend much of the next year in EXCRUTIATING pain as my nerves healed...often leaving me crumpled on the floor unable to move as my nerves spasmed and left me screaming in pain...and I fought in MMA tournaments...so I don't cry out in pain easily.

 

she stayed with me...held my hand while I cried from the pain...she never gave up on me that I would recover. A year later, I had my final surgery, and 60 days after that, I as 90%. The only lingering issue I've had is that I cannot tilt my head to look all the way "up". I am now pain free and have regained 100% of the mobility in my arms and legs.

 

I couldnt have survived all that without her being there with me. She was wonderful, and during our times taking turns playing private nurse to each other during some VERY tough times, we became extraordinarily close as a couple.

 

I thought we had a bond that was NOT breakable by an arguement. Obviously, I was wrong.

Posted
I met her after 3 years of being completely alone..by choice..after the end of my divorce to my ex wife. I will spare everyone the minute details of how we got started.

 

a few months in, we found out she had breast cancer. Chemo, lumpectomy, the whole nine yards. The chemo made her so weak, i was afraid I would lose her. I would go to her house early in the morning to make her breakfast and feed it to her because she was too weak to lift the fork. Then, i would carry her to the bathtub, give her a bath, dress her, and then carry her back to her bed.

 

Her kids would watch after her after school, when the private nurse would leave, and until I got home from work. My son and I would help clean up the house, I'd cook dinner, feed her...carry her to take another bath and back to her bed again, and then stroke her hair until she finally fell asleep because she was in constant pain.

 

during this time, I feel DEEPLY in love with her...as during the many hours I was sitting next to her in her bed as she talked to me, I realized she was an absolutely FASCINATING woman. We were dating, yeah...but I suddenly realized I LOVED her.

 

thank the Lord above, she recovered...fully. Six months later, I was rear-ended by an 18-wheeler while on my way home from the hospital where we both worked. (we were both nurses on the same unit..before she quit to open her own counseling business). I was instantly paralyzed from the neck down.

 

My truck's OnStar called 911. When she heard from the ER it was me...she left her job...and drove her own car out to where the accident was. She was the first person on the scene...and she took one look at me and burst into tears. I was bleeding, had a broken right leg, left arm, and a broken neck.

 

I spent three months completely paralyzed. Four surgeries later, the orthopedic surgeon and neurologist were able to remove enough bone fragments to allow my spinal cord to decompress, and I was slowly able to move my arms and legs again.

 

I spend much of the next year in EXCRUTIATING pain as my nerves healed...often leaving me crumpled on the floor unable to move as my nerves spasmed and left me screaming in pain...and I fought in MMA tournaments...so I don't cry out in pain easily.

 

she stayed with me...held my hand while I cried from the pain...she never gave up on me that I would recover. A year later, I had my final surgery, and 60 days after that, I as 90%. The only lingering issue I've had is that I cannot tilt my head to look all the way "up". I am now pain free and have regained 100% of the mobility in my arms and legs.

 

I couldnt have survived all that without her being there with me. She was wonderful, and during our times taking turns playing private nurse to each other during some VERY tough times, we became extraordinarily close as a couple.

 

I thought we had a bond that was NOT breakable by an arguement. Obviously, I was wrong.

 

 

 

That is truly heart breaking and i completely understand why you are feeling this way. I really wish i could help you get her back, cause right now i want my now ex boyfriend back as well. I would do anything to get that back again...

 

This is probably a bad thing cause i should help you move on but is there anyway you can think of that you can reach deep to her? Make her think of those good memories, where you two can sit and talk it all out. I dont want to see special relatioships like this end. Not everyone gets to experience this

Posted

Crash, I know what you mean. I received the "you deserve the very best and I can't give you that" line and you're right, shouldn't we be the judge on what we deserve? But in reading further into this reason, often it is just a throwaway line. They really don't want to be with us so are trying to let us down gently with these types of words. I was constantly told that she loved how I was so open with my feelings too. I just don't know why we can't work out problems before it becomes a huge issue!!!!

 

It sounds like she has definitely made her mind up and I don't know if there is much you can do. I don't know if you're into begging and pleading for her (I didn't beg.... I think by the time they break it off they are already out the door emotionally anyway) so I really don't know what you can do. Just take it one day at a time and try and move on. I'm almost 3 weeks on and I'm doing a lot better but it's on my mind ALL the time still :/ although the tears are not as frequent and I'm just numb really....

  • Author
Posted (edited)
That is truly heart breaking and i completely understand why you are feeling this way. I really wish i could help you get her back, cause right now i want my now ex boyfriend back as well. I would do anything to get that back again...

 

This is probably a bad thing cause i should help you move on but is there anyway you can think of that you can reach deep to her? Make her think of those good memories, where you two can sit and talk it all out. I dont want to see special relatioships like this end. Not everyone gets to experience this

 

 

Ive tried. I sent an email reminding her of all the ways were have been there for each other.

 

I know its kind of a cliche...but what we had really *WAS* special. I was SO close to her...

 

she used to say I literally saved her life. I bathed her and fed her when she was too weak to hold a fork.

 

She comforted me as my muscles and nerves would cause spasms so violent that they actually cracked my ribs because my nerves were misfiring while they healed. Many nights, she sat on my bathroom floor with me and wept with me as my ability to walk came and went.

 

I remember her telling me "Im here baby..Im not leaving until YOU do." as she held my face in her hands while my ribs snapped and I yelled in pain.

 

I cannot describe how much she means to me....Its like God sent a personal angel just for me...and now I've lost her.

 

I remember holding her in her bed...crying with her as she told me she didnt think she would live through the night. I remember telling her "don't you do this...I love you and you do NOT have permission to break my heart for another 20 years at least. you stay right here with me...i will hold you for the next 2 years if I have to, but I will NOT let you go."

 

We prayed together.

 

We were not being intimate during these times (obviously) so it wasn't some mere physical infatuation or superficial attraction to her physical beauty. I loved that woman down to her SOUL.

 

all these memories...are KILLING me.

 

We had something SPECIAL dammit....it should NOT end like this!

 

Dear God, if you hear me...please...bring my angel back to me.

Edited by crashvector
Posted
Ive tried. I sent an email reminding her of all the ways were have been there for each other.

 

I know its kind of a cliche...but what we had really *WAS* special. I was SO close to her...

 

she used to say I literally saved her life. I bathed her and fed her when she was too weak to hold a fork.

 

She comforted me as my muscles and nerves would cause spasms so violent that they actually cracked my ribs because my nerves were misfiring while they healed. Many nights, she sat on my bathroom floor with me and wept with me as my ability to walk came and went.

 

I remember her telling me "Im here baby..Im not leaving until YOU do." as she held my face in her hands while my ribs snapped and I yelled in pain.

 

I cannot describe how much she means to me....Its like God sent a personal angel just for me...and now I've lost her.

 

I remember holding her in her bed...crying with her as she told me she didnt think she would live through the night. I remember telling her "don't you do this...I love you and you do NOT have permission to break my heart for another 20 years at least. you stay right here with me...i will hold you for the next 2 years if I have to, but I will NOT let you go."

 

We prayed together.

 

We were not being intimate during these times (obviously) so it wasn't some mere physical infatuation or superficial attraction to her physical beauty. I loved that woman down to her SOUL.

 

all these memories...are KILLING me.

 

We had something SPECIAL dammit....it should NOT end like this!

 

Dear God, if you hear me...please...bring my angel back to me.

 

 

 

 

 

=( Try to calm down and read other peoples stories, it might make you feel a bit better since your not alone. Im hoping that after a bit of time she will remember all those good times. Right now she might be emotional and doesn't want to deal with it. or maybe shes angry and needs to calm down. I beleive the connection you two have made is like no other. but you have to look after yourself as well. Keep talking it out so it doesn't bundle up inside. It might be best if you try not hope and if she does come back then it will be the happiest moment of your life. But if you hope and it doesnt work out, ur going to be the one left at the deep end again, back to stage 1. In the meantime try healing and get to acceptance..you really dont want to go through this terrible pain twice ={ Right now im trying to think my ex bf is dead... His no longer there which is slightly true since the guy i knew and love isn't the same anymore

  • Author
Posted

I know she is gone. My head knows it, by my heart is DYING for her.

 

The bond I had with her was SO strong...I TRULY felt God had brought her into my life so that we could be happy together.

 

Then, after all the cancer/car wreck stuff, I was convinced that we would be together forever.

 

I dont know of ANY other couple that faced the things the two of us faced together, and we healed each other with pure love and caring.

 

All i know is that I have never felt this low...or empty..or hollow. When she left, she took my heart with her. I gave it to her willingfully, trusting her to keep it safe.

 

Now, I'm left without a heart, and most of my soul gone, too.

 

28 hours straight of crying..and I feel NO better. I want my sweetheart back. I want her to do for me what I often did for her...to come over and make everything feel like its going to be okay.

 

I want to smell her hair and touch her face....tell her I love her SO much and that she's my angel. I want to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I am looking forward to being her husband.

 

I wish I could hold her in bed while we slept just ONE more time. I would wake up before her and stroke her hair...and as soon as she woke up, I would say "Good morning, beautiful." and she would smile back sweetly at me and say "Good morning to you, too...I love you."

 

I would fall asleep in bed with her...the lights would be out and the room pitch black...and I would say "I want nothing more than to be here every night for the rest of my life as your husband." and she would say "yes...that's a lovely thought...I love falling asleep in your arms."

 

All of this...GONE.

 

How do I give this up?!

Posted
I know she is gone. My head knows it, by my heart is DYING for her.

 

The bond I had with her was SO strong...I TRULY felt God had brought her into my life so that we could be happy together.

 

Then, after all the cancer/car wreck stuff, I was convinced that we would be together forever.

 

I dont know of ANY other couple that faced the things the two of us faced together, and we healed each other with pure love and caring.

 

All i know is that I have never felt this low...or empty..or hollow. When she left, she took my heart with her. I gave it to her willingfully, trusting her to keep it safe.

 

Now, I'm left without a heart, and most of my soul gone, too.

 

28 hours straight of crying..and I feel NO better. I want my sweetheart back. I want her to do for me what I often did for her...to come over and make everything feel like its going to be okay.

 

I want to smell her hair and touch her face....tell her I love her SO much and that she's my angel. I want to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I am looking forward to being her husband.

 

I wish I could hold her in bed while we slept just ONE more time. I would wake up before her and stroke her hair...and as soon as she woke up, I would say "Good morning, beautiful." and she would smile back sweetly at me and say "Good morning to you, too...I love you."

 

I would fall asleep in bed with her...the lights would be out and the room pitch black...and I would say "I want nothing more than to be here every night for the rest of my life as your husband." and she would say "yes...that's a lovely thought...I love falling asleep in your arms."

 

All of this...GONE.

 

How do I give this up?!

 

 

 

 

You cant give this up =( but i know how you feel... you would do anything to have all that back. even once more.. but maybe try to think of it as at the very least you got to experience this true love. at least you got to meet her and be with her for the past 5 years. Some people never even experience this so your still lucky you did. Right now theres nothing thats going to make you feel better unless she decides to come back. you have to slowly try get yourself together again. It sucks cause your going to want to talk to her and want her to just come back again. i do feel and hope inside that if you give her sometime she may turn back to where her happiness was. She might just feel overwhelmed? or feels like you've put up with enough trouble and she doesn't want you to deal with it anymore. and i know you would definetly want to be by her side. Is it possible that maybe something happened? like her cancer came back and she doesnt want to put you through the trouble? Sorry im just thinking of every possibility

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