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Posted

I'm a single dad, 36 years old, previously divorced.

 

My ex wife cheated on me and left with another guy, I tried to wait things out for a year before finally filing for divorce.

 

Fast forward to now: I've been in a 5 year long relationship with a woman I am absolutely crazy about. We were in the middle of planning our wedding, etc. There's just one problem: she broke things off yesterday afternoon.

 

Three days ago, she was all "I love you" and "Have I told you recently how much you mean to me?" and the like.

 

We have a minor arguement on the phone, and she said "Ive been thinking about it lately, and I do NOT want to marry you and I dont want to continue our relationship. I have to go." and hung up.

 

The arguement was that we were planning to be together today, and she said she would spend a little time with me and then we could go back to hang out with her kids. I said "What about this: Since we've both been focused on our kids the last two weeks or so and haven't really seen each other much, how about we make the day about just us, without the distractions with the kids?"

 

She absolutely blew up on me and broke things off. I just don't get it.

 

for the record, her kids are all grown, the youngest is 18 and just got accepted to a college on the east coast for the upcoming summer. My son is 7.

 

I am 36, she is 53.

 

I just dont understand...Christmas day, she gave me an "adventure journal" book and a luggage tag. As she gave them to me, she said "This is in the hopes of lots of adventures together, and I want to travel the world with you." Two days later, she's ending everything saying she's been considering it for a while.

 

I dont know what to think, or believe. I feel absolutely CRUSHED. For five years, I have adored and loved her. She was my sweetheart, my companion, and my best friend. We have BOTH been going through some bad times...I lost my job (I'm a nurse and the place I worked closed), her son needs sugery, her sister-in-law told her she was going to ask her brother for a divorce, etc.

 

Her kids all love me...her parents who are in the 80's took a special trip all the way from Alaska just to tell me they were excited to hear we were getting married, how they could tell I was just crazy about their daughter and how wonderful it was that she found someone that loved her as much as I do, etc etc.

 

Now, I'm left to try and pick up the pieces..again. She WAS my plan for the future.

 

I told her I have always had two dreams: to be a good father, and a good husband....and how I would try with all my soul to be both. I could NOT have loved anyone more. I would have adored that woman until the day she took her last breath on this earth.

 

I dont even know where to start...I'm a grown man and I've been crying for 19 hours straight. I feel like my soul has been torn away...the love of my life..is gone forever.

  • Author
Posted

Its not that she didnt feel loved...that's just not possible.

 

I showered her with affection and adoration. I would tell her every single day I loved her and she meant the world to me.

 

She would call me just to tell me she loves me, etc.

 

Everyone, even people we didnt know...like waiters for example...would actually make comments like "This guy loves you...I can SEE it" to her when we were out to dinner, etc.

 

She told me she would text me sometime next week to let me know when she wont be home so I can go get my stuff (we were going to get married in 5 months and she suggested I started moving small stuff) from her house.

 

I feel like my entire world has come crashing down...like I can't catch my breath....like the sunshine feels cold and crushing.

 

I had dedicated my life to this woman...I would have been a faithful, loving partner to her forever.

 

Obviously, I'm not what she wanted. I guess no matter how much I loved her, or how much she said she loved me in return...nothing is forever, not even love.

 

I think it was awfully mean and cruel for her to end things like that....over the phone. I loved her with all my heart for God's sake...at LEAST give me the dignity to look me in the eyes...and answer the questions I am left with.

 

She will not answer me (I stopped trying to call after 2 calls), so obviously she has no interest in being honorable...I just think its WRONG to treat me this way considering all the love I showed her.

 

at LEAST give me the chance to start to move on by answering the questions I have like 1) What did I DO?! and 2) How long have you been considering breaking things off and in that case, why would you tell me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me two days ago? It just seems cruel to toy with my heart like this considering what I've already been through.

 

All the hurt and pain...the insecurities, and feelings of not being good enough...have come rushing back.

Posted

Crash, I'm sorry for you. It was hard to read your posts and your pain shows through.

 

I don't believe it was anything you did. This is something that has internally manifested within her to make the decision that she has made. If she was truly invested and somethin was wrong, she would have communicated her concerns, rather than run. I can't help but wonder if there is someone else or just feelings within her that have changed her needs and wants.

 

People can say many things and sometimes not even mean it. They may say things thinking that it is what they need to feel when most times they're fighting what they actually feel.

 

When someone just ups and goes out of the blue, the first thought is that there is someone else in the picture. Your need for closeness and intimacy caused her guilt and she's ended things with you because she cannot carry on the relationship. Or the thought of commitment and marriage is getting to her and she's come to realize that she can't fight the charade anymore and needs to get out.

 

I'm not going to accuse her of cheating but will say that you should not devalue yourself based on her actions. I know you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on, and there is nothing anyone can say that can take your pain away.

 

I don't believe you can get answers and she most likely is in hiding. Try to stop calling her. She'll have to face you when she's ready. It's selfish but there really is no way to get her to do the right thing.

Posted

I'm so sorry for your pain!

 

It's hard to know what to say. All this, without *any* warning? Really? Have you overlooked signs? Have your friends/family noticed anything?

 

I don't want to give you false hope, but could it just be cold feet? Sudden panic?

 

Do you have any friends you could talk to?

 

And why call her? Can't you go to her home and try talking to her in person? Not a confrontation, mind you. Just a conversation to get things clear and find out what the problem really is. Maybe she just needs you to be a rock -solid and steady- while she goes through whatever she's going through.

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Posted (edited)

Thank you both for the replies.

 

Yes...I have NEVER hurt like this before...not even my divorce hurt me like this.

 

No, I'm confident she didnt leave me for someone else. The reasons she gave simply do NOT make sense.

 

She said I approached her in a negative way, from a point of how I'm getting cheated out of time with her, and she doesn't want that kind of life.

 

I couldnt think of anything to say because I was so shocked except "What?! Negative?! I just ASKED for the day to be about US!"

 

I think her sister-in-law telling her she was going to divorce her brother has really weighed on her mind....and caused her to examine every minute issue in our relationship with a microscope and blow it WAY out of proportion.

 

She's been really stressed, but I KNOW this woman....this is NOT like her.

 

However, obviously, it really IS like her...because she did it. I'm just not buying her excuse because well...it doesnt make any sense at all...when two days ago she was telling me how much she loved me, how happy she was to be with me, how glad she was to have finally found a companion in life, etc etc.

 

She's already told her children that she broke it off...because they have all texted me telling me they will miss me and are sorry because they know I REALLY loved their mom. she wouldnt have told her kids if she wasn't really finished...but I really, honestly, don't know what I did that was SO bad...bad enough to throw away a 5 year relationship AND a future marriage.

 

I COULD show up at her house...but that would only make her even more mad I'm sure. I just dont understand how she could go from telling me she was SO in love with me, and how I treated her so well that her friends were all jealous of her...to hating me so much in less than a day.

 

 

I am SOO crushed. I've been crying for 19 hours straight now...threw up a bunch of times...my face hurts from crying. I feel like I've lost a part of my own heart.

 

I would have loved her forever....she really WAS my sweetheart...my baby...my love. and now...she's gone...and I don't know what to do. :(

Edited by crashvector
  • Author
Posted

I adored her so much.

 

After Christmas, we went to the movies to see the Hobbit together.

 

After I dropped her off at her house, I promptly went home and opened the "Adventure Journal" she gave me...and dediated the first page of the book to her. i printed out pictures of us together in Alaska and taped them to the page.

 

It says "I dedicate this book to my sweetheart, (her name), whom I aspire to be more like every day. I can think of no greater adventure than being her husband, and look forward to filling up this book and six more just like it with all of our adventures together. I hope our kids see this one day, and realize that when two people TRULY love each other, the world is a playground. I look forward to sharing a lifetime of places, and making memories with her."

 

When she texts me later next week to go get my stuff...I'm thinking about giving the book back to her...along with the ring I wore every day (I'm a male nurse, so I get hit on a lot...and I wore the ring because I wanted everyone to know I was HERS).

 

I just wish this wouldnt have happened. I love her SO much.

Posted

You know Crash, I'm dating a guy that has little kids and I can't imagine separating from them if our relationship didn't work out. It would crush me. And I can't imagine the pain you are going through losing her, but most of all, losing those kids. My heart goes out to you.

 

I don't know how to grasp ending a 5 year relationship over an issue that is so trivial. And that is why I wonder if there is someone else and she used it as an excuse to check out or she's been feeling pressured by commitment that the smallest thing snapped her into running away.

 

My last relationship lasted for two years. And while he was telling me all the right things, he was still cheating. But put the cheating aside, people can tell you one thing but do another. They can tell you they love you, lip service to keep the relationship going but falter behind what seems to be the truth in your eyes.

 

And it's even more telling that she has told the kids and is making it so final. What can't be worked out unless it can't be worked out because there is someone else, or she just doesn't feel it for you anymore. Either one as I can't think of anything else, even something so miniscule to be the cause of tearing a family apart.

Posted

If you feel that showing up at her home would only make her mad, then I guess that option is out. You can write. Tell her you love her and don't understand what's wrong. You want to work things out, and ask her to please get in touch with you.

 

You need someone to talk to. Call a friend or family member, tell them you're going through a crisis, and ask them to be there with you.

 

Is there anyone who knows her that might be able to tell you what's going on in her head, without breaking any confidences? Not the kids, though.

  • Author
Posted
If you feel that showing up at her home would only make her mad, then I guess that option is out. You can write. Tell her you love her and don't understand what's wrong. You want to work things out, and ask her to please get in touch with you.

 

You need someone to talk to. Call a friend or family member, tell them you're going through a crisis, and ask them to be there with you.

 

Is there anyone who knows her that might be able to tell you what's going on in her head, without breaking any confidences? Not the kids, though.

 

I texted her this morning, with a text that said:

 

"Please...I have questions. For all the love I showed you, PLEASE at least allow me the dignity to not have to try and move on without understanding. I loved you with all my heart for God's sake, and I am broken. At least give me the CHANCE."

 

She replied a little while ago with "I will explain in more detail in an email later. This is very hard for me."

 

I replied "I am sorry if I have mistakenly caused you pain. I wanted to love you, not hurt you...and I loved you very very much. Please...I am begging you...please talk to me so I can understand. I am stuck until then...alone...hurting VERY badly at losing the love of my life without even a clear explanation of WHY. I have no idea what I've done."

Posted

Crash, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through the pain must be immeasurable, especially since you don't have many answers. Do you know what she means when she says she thinks she's cheating you out of time -- is it her age, and that she's afraid you'll "waste" your years on her when she leaves you a widower? I know it may not help, but what she did has a lot more to do with her than with anything you did. Maybe she doesn't feel like she's good enough for you or worthy of all the praise. It sounds like your adoration was near worship, and it may have been too much, especially if she had doubts to begin with. She was with you for 5 years, but now that marraige is on the table she's likely getting cold feet. I don't know why she gave you that adventure journal and said what she said. She may have been thinking about it for a while and gave you the journal wanting you to travel, but knowing in her heart she probably wasn't going with you.

 

I do think there's something to the fact that her sister-in-law's divorce is giving her doubts. I am divorced too and a few months ago my younger sister, who's engaged, called me in tears afraid that her own marriage won't work out and her husband might leave her like mine did.

 

You do deserve better answers, but I don't think she's going to be ready to talk for a while, she knows how much she hurt you. Maybe you can email her and let it all out. Take the time and try to compose it without sounding too emotional, if possible. This way she will know exactly what you want to say to her and maybe respond at her own leisure and when she's ready.

Posted
I texted her this morning, with a text that said:

 

"Please...I have questions. For all the love I showed you, PLEASE at least allow me the dignity to not have to try and move on without understanding. I loved you with all my heart for God's sake, and I am broken. At least give me the CHANCE."

 

She replied a little while ago with "I will explain in more detail in an email later. This is very hard for me."

 

I replied "I am sorry if I have mistakenly caused you pain. I wanted to love you, not hurt you...and I loved you very very much. Please...I am begging you...please talk to me so I can understand. I am stuck until then...alone...hurting VERY badly at losing the love of my life without even a clear explanation of WHY. I have no idea what I've done."

 

That's good that she will offer up an explanation. Try to be around people and hang tight. I know it is hard.

  • Author
Posted
You know Crash, I'm dating a guy that has little kids and I can't imagine separating from them if our relationship didn't work out. It would crush me. And I can't imagine the pain you are going through losing her, but most of all, losing those kids. My heart goes out to you.

 

I don't know how to grasp ending a 5 year relationship over an issue that is so trivial. And that is why I wonder if there is someone else and she used it as an excuse to check out or she's been feeling pressured by commitment that the smallest thing snapped her into running away.

 

My last relationship lasted for two years. And while he was telling me all the right things, he was still cheating. But put the cheating aside, people can tell you one thing but do another. They can tell you they love you, lip service to keep the relationship going but falter behind what seems to be the truth in your eyes.

 

And it's even more telling that she has told the kids and is making it so final. What can't be worked out unless it can't be worked out because there is someone else, or she just doesn't feel it for you anymore. Either one as I can't think of anything else, even something so miniscule to be the cause of tearing a family apart.

 

I really dont think there's someone else...I'd be more surprised by that than by seeing the second coming of Jesus.

 

I just think something about our conversation "did it" for her....and I dont see WHY....

 

She just replied to me and said "I will talk to you when I'm ready."

 

I replied "I understand. I only ask one thing: please really think through if this is what you REALLY want. I WILL respect your decision, but realy do have questions....I'm so sorry for hurting you :("

 

after this...I think I will not contact her again until she says she's ready to talk.

Posted
I really dont think there's someone else...I'd be more surprised by that than by seeing the second coming of Jesus.

 

I just think something about our conversation "did it" for her....and I dont see WHY....

 

She just replied to me and said "I will talk to you when I'm ready."

 

I replied "I understand. I only ask one thing: please really think through if this is what you REALLY want. I WILL respect your decision, but realy do have questions....I'm so sorry for hurting you :("

 

after this...I think I will not contact her again until she says she's ready to talk.

 

I truly hope you two can talk about it. I'm hoping she reacted and will come to her senses. I know waiting on her to be "ready" is going to drive you crazy but it seems that there is nothing else you can do but hope the time will help her reevaluate leaving the R.

  • Author
Posted
Crash, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through the pain must be immeasurable, especially since you don't have many answers. Do you know what she means when she says she thinks she's cheating you out of time -- is it her age, and that she's afraid you'll "waste" your years on her when she leaves you a widower? I know it may not help, but what she did has a lot more to do with her than with anything you did. Maybe she doesn't feel like she's good enough for you or worthy of all the praise. It sounds like your adoration was near worship, and it may have been too much, especially if she had doubts to begin with. She was with you for 5 years, but now that marraige is on the table she's likely getting cold feet. I don't know why she gave you that adventure journal and said what she said. She may have been thinking about it for a while and gave you the journal wanting you to travel, but knowing in her heart she probably wasn't going with you.

 

I do think there's something to the fact that her sister-in-law's divorce is giving her doubts. I am divorced too and a few months ago my younger sister, who's engaged, called me in tears afraid that her own marriage won't work out and her husband might leave her like mine did.

 

You do deserve better answers, but I don't think she's going to be ready to talk for a while, she knows how much she hurt you. Maybe you can email her and let it all out. Take the time and try to compose it without sounding too emotional, if possible. This way she will know exactly what you want to say to her and maybe respond at her own leisure and when she's ready.

 

I adored her...but not in some freakish, I have to be by your side 24/7 kind of way. I just made sure she knew I loved her, and would always be there for her.

 

Christmas eve, she called me, sobbing on the phone. She said "I need you...can you come over?" I said "Yes. Let me get (my son's name) to get his shoes on and I'm on my way."

 

When I showed up, she started crying, gave me a HUGE hug so tight I could barely breathe, and said "One of the things I love about you is that I always know that if I need you, you wont even ask why...you just come to help me. No matter how overwhelmed I feel, when you show you, it makes me feel like everything is going to be okay."

 

I hugged her back and said "Well...I love you with all my heart. I'd do anything for you."

 

I'm just SO confused...she made big displays of love and appreciation for me in just the last few days alone....telling me she loved me...she admired me...she appreciated me....

 

and now...she's left me broken-hearted and empty. This hurts SO much.

Posted

hi crash,

 

really sorry man! do you think that her sister-in-law's imminent divorce put doubts into her mind about marriage? perhaps the age difference all of a sudden became an issue? thinking will you always want her as she gets older? 16-yr old difference. also, you have a 7yr old, wow, not common for 40+ 50+ women taking on such a young child to re-raise a child....i don't know. just thinking....

 

i hope it works out one way or another and there is peace in the end...

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Posted
I truly hope you two can talk about it. I'm hoping she reacted and will come to her senses. I know waiting on her to be "ready" is going to drive you crazy but it seems that there is nothing else you can do but hope the time will help her reevaluate leaving the R.

 

No...she is done. I know her well. She's very decisive.

 

She wouldnt' have told the children if she wasn't truly done with me. I wanted to be a part of that family so very very much.

 

I loved her kids and they loved me, too. My SON...called her "my second mommy."

 

This woman was special..and I've lost her for good.

 

I feel SO alone...and desperate. I thought love was enough...and there certainly was no shortage of that. On the other hand, I feel stupid for being so emotional...but I can't help it.

 

With her, the sun just seemed to shine a little brighter, and the world seemed warm. she would walk into a room, and the world would go all still and quiet, and she moved in slow motion. she was/is a stunning woman.

 

she was concerned about our age difference at first..but I thought she had listened to me when I told her I loved her..and it did not matter to me...I thought she was wonderful, and beautiful...and she was.

 

the hurt feels crushing to me....

  • Author
Posted
hi crash,

 

really sorry man! do you think that her sister-in-law's imminent divorce put doubts into her mind about marriage? perhaps the age difference all of a sudden became an issue? thinking will you always want her as she gets older? 16-yr old difference. also, you have a 7yr old, wow, not common for 40+ 50+ women taking on such a young child to re-raise a child....i don't know. just thinking....

 

i hope it works out one way or another and there is peace in the end...

 

We had talked about these things....she understood that parenting my son would be primarily up to me and my ex wife...and that she would only be expected to be kind to him.

 

she should have known...it wasn't just her physical beauty that I loved....I loved her so much because of who she is...not how she looked. Sure, she is a very beautiful woman...but you dont fall in love with someone's pretty eyes. I wouldnt want to spend the rest of my life with just a pretty face...I loved her because she was fantastic as a partner.

 

She also knows me better than to think i'd be unfaithful. I was devastated after my ex cheated on me. Her ex cheated on HER...which is why we are both divorced.

 

I'd rather DIE than betray someone like that....maybe I'm rare for a man or something..but I just do NOT know how someone can go on living knowing that they crushed someone like that because they were unfaithful. It's just pure evil to do that to someone, and I am not capable of it.

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Posted

Sorry for venting..but I have to get this out:

 

 

I hate that I have to try and start over again...to try and find someone as special as her to share my life with...knowing that I will only every want to be with HER. She was an angel in the darkness...and I was her rock.

 

I just dont want to do this anymore......I am truly broken by this. My heart can't take it.

 

Ive had two dreams in my life: to be a good father, and a good husband. I think I'm a good dad...but some day, my son will grow up and find his own life. I want someone to share MINE with...and i thought she was that person.

 

We had been making plans...sharing excited conversations about where we would go on our honeymoon (Napa Valley), and how happy it made us to know we would be together forever....

 

the air feels so thick and heavy....the love of my life is gone. Everything I had been working SO hard for..is over. I was back in school...trying to plow my way through being a full-time student, working full time, and raising my son ... in order to provide a GOOD life for us both.

 

I was working on my PA master's degree. She already has her master's..in counseling no less. I was struggling to keep things together in the knowledge that someday soon, we would be married and all my hard work would provide enough that we could travel and HAVE those adventures together.

 

With everything gone that I was working for...what am I supposed to do?! Just walk away and pretend like it doesn't matter...like I know there will be someone else better?

 

How am I supposed to do that....when for the rest of my life...every woman I meet will be compared to her?

 

She held my heart and my soul in the palm of her hand..why did she do this to me?

Posted

Yes, it is hard to start over again, after every disappointment. I'm 41 and never had kids but have come to love my partner's kids like my own. Reading your story, it makes me cringe at the thought of what I would have to go through if I lost him, but most of all those kids.

 

I'm sorry Crash. Try not to focus on those thoughts but just on what is at hand. Grieve the loss and don't stuff those emotions. We all have been through having hopes and dreams of building a life with someone only for it to come crashing down. She won't be the last woman that walks into your life and while it may seem bleak and hopeless, that sun will one day shine a little brighter, again.

 

I think the best thing to do now is stop focusing on what you need to do but give yourself the time to grieve the loss. You'll pick up the pieces in time but for now give yourself some time to feel the pain and mourn.

 

This is not the time to wonder if there is someone better but to make you better. I'm sorry.

  • Author
Posted
Yes, it is hard to start over again, after every disappointment. I'm 41 and never had kids but have come to love my partner's kids like my own. Reading your story, it makes me cringe at the thought of what I would have to go through if I lost him, but most of all those kids.

 

I'm sorry Crash. Try not to focus on those thoughts but just on what is at hand. Grieve the loss and don't stuff those emotions. We all have been through having hopes and dreams of building a life with someone only for it to come crashing down. She won't be the last woman that walks into your life and while it may seem bleak and hopeless, that sun will one day shine a little brighter, again.

 

I think the best thing to do now is stop focusing on what you need to do but give yourself the time to grieve the loss. You'll pick up the pieces in time but for now give yourself some time to feel the pain and mourn.

 

This is not the time to wonder if there is someone better but to make you better. I'm sorry.

 

Thank you for your kindness and for taking the time to reply...it means a lot.

 

I'm going to miss her SO much...my heart ACHES in knowing that i will never again have the chance to hug her and tell her I love her....and hear her tell me she loves me, too.

 

Dear God....I will miss her and the kids terribly. I loved them like they were my own.

Posted
Thank you for your kindness and for taking the time to reply...it means a lot.

 

I'm going to miss her SO much...my heart ACHES in knowing that i will never again have the chance to hug her and tell her I love her....and hear her tell me she loves me, too.

 

Dear God....I will miss her and the kids terribly. I loved them like they were my own.

 

I know, Crash. I hope you have friends and family around to lean on? Please don't be alone. And please don't think emotions are silly. If you want to cry 29 hours straight, cry. It's therapeutic. You have to purge your hurt.

 

One minute at a time. One hour at a time.

  • Author
Posted
I know, Crash. I hope you have friends and family around to lean on? Please don't be alone. And please don't think emotions are silly. If you want to cry 29 hours straight, cry. It's therapeutic. You have to purge your hurt.

 

One minute at a time. One hour at a time.

 

Thank you.

 

I have been crying since 430 yesterday afternoon.

 

Godammit this hurts SO much.....

 

I treated her well...I loved her with all my heart...I just do not understand why she did this. :(

Posted
Thank you.

 

I have been crying since 430 yesterday afternoon.

 

Godammit this hurts SO much.....

 

I treated her well...I loved her with all my heart...I just do not understand why she did this. :(

 

The hardest thing to deal with is the whys. And sometimes even when you get the answers, they still don't take away the pain and they don't make any sense of what's befallen you.

 

I wish I could say something to help ease your pain. It's all so raw now and the only thing you can do is feel it. I know it hurts.

  • Author
Posted
The hardest thing to deal with is the whys. And sometimes even when you get the answers, they still don't take away the pain and they don't make any sense of what's befallen you.

 

I wish I could say something to help ease your pain. It's all so raw now and the only thing you can do is feel it. I know it hurts.

 

 

I have no illusions that knowing or hearing her rationale will make the pain any better.

 

After 5 years of being in love with her, and showing her every single day I love her....I just feel I NEED to know...no matter if it makes it worse or not...I need it if I have even a small chance of somehow eventually finding closure in all this.

 

I keep saying it because its true: I've never hurt like this before.

 

I trusted her like I have never trusted anyone. Because of the life I have lived, I find it VERY hard to trust ANYONE...most of my own family doesn't even really know the REAL me.

 

Just my ex wife and now her. And both of them left me. Well, technically, I guess you could say I left my ex wife..but she betrayed me multiple times..and I knew she would do it again...so I felt forced.

 

In this situation, I feel I have done nothing wrong, or at least bad enough, to deserve having this amount of heartache and pain brought upon me. I dont feel I've done anything in my entire life so bad that I would deserve this pain.

 

I've ALWAYS tried to be kind to everyone...I always try to see what is special about people and I tell them so. Everyone that knows me would say I'm one of the most genuinely kind men they know, and I loved my fiance well.

 

Why is it then..that i find love...fall head over heels...then have it torn away?

 

Being a nurse, I know that all death is not bad...and have been privileged to witness what I would call a "beautiful death." I saw a woman passing away, surrounded by her family, with her husband holding her hand. He leaned over and told her "It's just like we talked about...I'll meet you when my time is done here. Wait for me...I love you." With her dying breath, she looked up at her husband and said "I love you so much" and died.

 

It was one of the most moving things I have ever seen in my life...it was glorious....proof that REAL love never goes away. The kind of love i felt for her.

 

I wanted a death like that...with this woman holding my hand as I slipped away...or vice versa. I had already decided my last words to her would be "Thank you for loving me..I will be waiting to see you again."

 

My heart is breaking.

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It hurts terribly when you finally let go of your fears and put your trust in someone only to have them betray you or leave you. I hadn't been with my ex-bf for as long as you but I loved him more completely than I ever loved anyone else in my life, including my ex-husband. I did not think that was possible but when I met him I fell for him almost instantly. He does not feel the same. The pain is still there but it's gotten a lot better. It will for you too. I know how cliche that sounds but it is true. It wont be tomorrow or next month but it will get easier, with time.

 

A very sad fact of life is that bad things happen to good people. I wish it wasn't so but it's not a reflecion on you, people are fallible and they hurt the ones they love, whether they mean to or not. When you are ready, the next woman you do meet will be incredibly lucky to have found you. You are kind and articulate, you have a great career and you are a true romantic. You have so much life to live still at 36. You just stay true to yourself take care of yourself and your son, talk to people, post here, be with friends. I hope you find some relief.

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