boblet Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 So, like many of you, I've gone NC on my ex, it's been 4 months since our BU. I haven't consistently been in NC though.. twice, once for my birthday, once for his. But it really gets you nowhere, especially when you realize that they are enjoying life without you. Anyway, I'm back to NC, determined to stay on track. Only recently I blocked him on FB, honestly I'd have a few slip ups and I don't want it to become a habit any longer. I have these random urges to unblock, and also to lash out at him, for some of the things he's said and for how angry I am that he didn't apologize for some of the things he did, he pretty much put the blame on me for everything. It's so frustrating... I will say though, the anger is a bit more subdued than it was about 2 months ago, I hope it doesn't intensify. Anyway, I was wondering, do these urges go away? It also makes me feel a bit anxious now that he is blocked on everything, but I suppose it will pass in time It has gotten a bit better though, I've been gyming hard, making goals for the new year, I want to be fit as f!@# 2
MyAngel Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Keep up the NC when you get an urge to lash out, write it down to get the words out in some way. But don't give it to your ex! The moods and feelings pass and you work through it and feel the next lot of moods. Good luck sweetie.
LostOne1 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 that's why it's called no contact... if you see them enjoying life it hurts more.. and it's the same for them too. If they see you enjoying life it hurts them to see that you moved on so fast. All you can do is accept that he is happy with his decision and that it's about time for you to be happy to now. He is enjoying life, so it's time for you to realize he's gone and you need to enjoy and make do with what you have left. And well you still have yourself and that's all you need right now to be happy. So go out.. take a deep breathe of the new fresh air and realize you have a new life. And with the new yr you are starting a new life too. 2
Author boblet Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 Thanks guys MyAngel, I do that a lot, any time I'm overwhelmed I write it down, I guess it will be interesting to re read all of this once I'm completely over it. LostOne, totally agree! I hope you're doing the same I hope it's getting better for you!
sadbunnyy Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I'm in the same situation. I had a few slips with NC when he emailed me few days ago but I'm determined to stick to it this time. I do have a lot of anger towards him but I don't think lashing out on him will help at all...Try to act as happy as possible. That'll probably confuse him lol. He'll think you never cared lol. I'd rather kill him with kindness... make him see that whatever he did, doesn't mean anything to me anymore. But that's just me.. 1
Author boblet Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 I know what you mean! Just some days it's easier to act that way, other days I'd want to go ballistic on him, I try to determine if he was actually at fault or if I'm rationalizing because of my bruised ego, hard to say. It seems so unfair that I'm in all this pain and he doesn't seem to care. I know for sure forgiveness is the best option though and I won't allow him to turn me into a bitter person. It will be difficult no doubt but one day it won't matter. That will be the best day ever! For now, I'm using this anger as fuel for more constructive things. 1
cavalier99 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) Hey boblet hows it goin? Glad you blocked him. Thanks for answering my rant back in Nov. Ill always appreciate that. I think I've only cried like once since then. Lol I wish we could magically transport out brains to recovered. Without any time loss of course Too bad it doesn't work that way. Or does it lol. Must work on mind transporter machine hmmm. I have a new project! Must meditate on this. .....ok I'm back. Stay cool. I also want to get rocked out and totally in shape for the new year. Lets keep each other posted. I'm going to go as far as taking before and after photos and getting my body fat measured. I'm sooo psyched!! Ohh by the way F-ch all this kindness crap. The SUPER nice email she sent me REALLY pissed me off. I'm angry and sort of happy about it! Must go let out aggression at gym or better yet on a tub of ice cream gym is in Jan! Im guessing I'm at 18 to 20 percent bodyfat. Must get to 12%. Ive done it before will do again! Cant ever seem to get six pack no matter what i do..ohh well Edited December 29, 2012 by cavalier99
Author boblet Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Hey Cav, I'm okay, happy new year! Still hanging in there, up and down days, same as you And yes I agree!!! Take it to the gym! I've always heard "Abs are made in the kitchen" so I guess it's gym plus diet lol we'll see! Your ex contacted you recently? Mine hasn't, probably won't. Man, I'm tired of this emotional rollercoaster bull. !@#$
cavalier99 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I'm also sort of tired of the roller coaster of emotions but they seem to have evened out and i can snap myself out of any sort of funk faster. I feel stronger. My friends think I'm over her and i don't even bring her up. I've gone out a bunch and had a great time etcetera and at times when I'm busy she isn't there every second. I think I'm at a stage were i cant really tell if I'm getting better or not at 3 months NC. I'm guessing it may be like this for a while and i can live with it. I think we just need to keep on living well and new good memories will eventually push out the old. I'm okay most of the time but i still think about her daily. It is just annoying. Thank G-D it isn't like those 1st few weeks of pure hell. Stay strong. I'm rooting for you! Happy 2013! Cavalier PS be grateful you didn't hear from him. It set me back reading her email. I made a thread about it and the contents. The fact that it was nice sort of messed me up a little. But i have restabalized.
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