th90 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Somehow I feel like I can't find a missing piece of my heart if I continued to be kept in the dark about the real reason behind my break up. My instinct tells me there is someone else prior to the BU but my ex has denied it. I don't want to break NC and ask him cos that'll really make me ugly and desperate. It's not gonna change anything anyway. SIGHHHH I guess I just need to vent.
mammasita Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 The truth will eventually come to light - just move on with your life and focus on you. You're doing the right thing by not contacting him.
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Somehow I feel like I can't find a missing piece of my heart if I continued to be kept in the dark about the real reason behind my break up. My instinct tells me there is someone else prior to the BU but my ex has denied it. I don't want to break NC and ask him cos that'll really make me ugly and desperate. It's not gonna change anything anyway. SIGHHHH I guess I just need to vent. Please don't ask him. Whether he left for someone else or not, it's broken. I know you feel devalued thinking that she's better or he didn't think you good enough. It's normal to feel that way. Accept that it is a break-up, regardless of the reasons, you have to move on. If you want to believe it's someone else, believe it and let it propel you forward. I've been cheated on and sometimes not knowing would have been much better for my soul. Leave well enough alone and try to move on.
gullibleme Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I know your pain I was there at one point....but finding out he really wanted to pursue other women as the reason for our breakup hurt, I was told by him that he just wanted to be single and if we were meant to be we would be together some day again, he didn't have anyone at first but was in the process I believe...either way it wasn't me and I accepted that to move on telling myself why be with someone who didn't want to be with me....follow your instincts...it is usually correct.
Harradin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 When my ex left me for someone else, I couldn't have seen it coming and when she broke up with me (did it by email) she didn't tell me why she felt we weren't working, she just dumped me and told me she was in a relationship with the other guy. I've been wanting to know why she felt we weren't working when there was nothing that indicated that there was something wrong. Even looking back there were no red flags or anything. I guess its natural that we want to know the answers.
Author th90 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 The truth will eventually come to light - just move on with your life and focus on you. You're doing the right thing by not contacting him. Thank you. You're right. But I am afraid to know much later when I think I'm doing all good then suddenly it hits me again. Please don't ask him. Whether he left for someone else or not, it's broken. I know you feel devalued thinking that she's better or he didn't think you good enough. It's normal to feel that way. Accept that it is a break-up, regardless of the reasons, you have to move on. If you want to believe it's someone else, believe it and let it propel you forward. I've been cheated on and sometimes not knowing would have been much better for my soul. Leave well enough alone and try to move on. I've not been cheated on. Was dating some useless guys prior to my current ex. I was with him from 15-22 years old. So it really terrified me when I noticed his change of behaviour. Actually I'm thinking if he has to break my heart and hurt me, then do it once and for all. I don't want to find out months later just when I thought I finally moved on, only to find out the truth and get hurt all over again, you know.
Author th90 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 I know your pain I was there at one point....but finding out he really wanted to pursue other women as the reason for our breakup hurt, I was told by him that he just wanted to be single and if we were meant to be we would be together some day again, he didn't have anyone at first but was in the process I believe...either way it wasn't me and I accepted that to move on telling myself why be with someone who didn't want to be with me....follow your instincts...it is usually correct. Ya I convince myself everyday there is someone else to help me move on at the same time having compassion for him, that he only did what he did because he just wanted to be happy. When my ex left me for someone else, I couldn't have seen it coming and when she broke up with me (did it by email) she didn't tell me why she felt we weren't working, she just dumped me and told me she was in a relationship with the other guy. I've been wanting to know why she felt we weren't working when there was nothing that indicated that there was something wrong. Even looking back there were no red flags or anything. I guess its natural that we want to know the answers. Wow that hurt. I can only say what goes around, comes around.
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