silk Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Hello. I am a 29 year old guy and i met a 20 year old girl this summer. We met in a nightclub. The first time we only got eye contact but it felt like it was something special. 2 weeks later we meet again in the same nightclub. We get eye contact again and she rushes up to me and kisses me on the cheek and walks away. Later that night we meet again and we start to talk. We exchanged Facebook. That night we decided to meet up again the night after at an event in another nightclub. She told me that she will be there with her boyfriend. So the night after we run into each other again at this nightclub and she was chasing me. Even if she was supposed to have her boyfriend there. This was in August and we have been writing long letters to each other since then. She has been telling me that she feels this mysterious connection to me but that it is not love. She has explained to me that she has a boyfriend which she loves but she cant explain the connection to me. It is a magnetic connection. She has now been writing me that she is seeing me in her dreams and that she needs this connection to me trough the letters we write to each other on Facebook since i am the only one in her life that understands her and her passions and interests. I have been asking her out and also why she keeps writing that she thinks about me all the time, and she sees me in her dreams when she has a boyfriend. She says that she is confused and that she loves her boyfriend but likes me also. She has been telling me that it gets worse everyday. That she thinks about me and every moment that she has free time she wants to write to me on Facebook. I have never met such a girl whom i got this strong connection to from the first moment. We both share the same passions and have these deep conversations. She agrees with this and says that she has never felt this for anyone. I have been told from my friends and girlfriends that we are probably soulmates but we met at the wrong stages in life. She is for sure missing something from her boyfriend that i have and i have got the suggestion to keep this contact with her and not rush with anything. She has this strong connection to me and we write long letters every week on Facebook. What suggestions do you have in this case?
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I suggest you tell her she has a choice: Him - or you. Don't play second fiddle in an existing relationship. Your contribution is only serving to muddy the waters and confuse the issue further. Back off, go No Contact and tell her you cannot - and will not - engage in any further discussion, until she has made a choice, and then only if that choice is you. Your actions are just feeding your ego, and making you feel grand, while she is dividing her loyalties and messing with her BF's emotions. How would you like it, if YOUR GF had this 'unbelievable connection' to someone else, and kept contact with him? Quite. Stop it now, and don't be so damn selfish. 1
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I suggest you tell her she has a choice: Him - or you. Don't play second fiddle in an existing relationship. Your contribution is only serving to muddy the waters and confuse the issue further. Back off, go No Contact and tell her you cannot - and will not - engage in any further discussion, until she has made a choice, and then only if that choice is you. Your actions are just feeding your ego, and making you feel grand, while she is dividing her loyalties and messing with her BF's emotions. How would you like it, if YOUR GF had this 'unbelievable connection' to someone else, and kept contact with him? Quite. Stop it now, and don't be so damn selfish. This pretty much sums it up. If she wants you in her life then she needs to end things with her current boyfriend and then date you. Sounds like you two keeping in touch has fed her crush/ego,and she is getting something out of it, a rush of feelings, a heart flutter. Maybe you are feeling the same as her. The thing is, you are right, the timing is wrong. It's unfair to you, unfair to her boyfriend to do this.. She's having a you, a side dish to feed her ego/feelings secretly and she gets to keep her boyfriend! It IS selfish of her to do that! Tell her to give you space and for her to think about who it is she wants. Otherwise, you'll be having an online emotional affair and you'll get hurt along the way.
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