No females friends and i have never felt better.

[MrCastle]

I'm not going to judge you (well...I guess I am) but I think this is a very narrow minded point of view.

 

I mean, you are basically effectively eliminating HALF of the world's population from even the opportunity to be your friend.

 

This might sound harsh, but I'm just going to come out and say it.

 

I think you view women as "objects". Again, not trying to insult you and you might very well think I'm nuts...but it's the feeling I get from reading your posts. I don't think you view women as "people"...but just objects to feed your ego and get what you want.

 

I don't think you are a "bad" person because I don't think you are purposely out to hurt anyone or lie or be dishonest. So, in a sense, I'm not saying you are doing anything DIRECTLY wrong. But, I think unless you change your mindset and stop viewing women as "the other sex" and just EVERYONE as people...you will be in for some hard times later on in life when you're tired of running around and just want to find that ONE special person to be with.

 

We're at two different stages in our lives. I'm a 25 year old single man looking for short term success. You're a happily married 38 year old man. I know you'd like to think there is a right and wrong to this discussion (with your theory being right, of course) but there isn't. What I believe in, what I do, is right for the lifestyle I want to live. What you do, is right for the lifestyle you want to live.

 

I know you want to make it seem like you've been there, done that, and have seen the light, because you're older and married, and that's cool, I get that; but your assumptions of me are way off base.

 

I'm not here to defend my character, but rather explain my opinions when challenged by opposing views.

 

I don't believe in female friends when I'm attracted to them, because I don't settle for the friend zone, under any circumstances. Platonic is different, I'm more than capable of being friends with women I have no interest in and have done so in the past.

 

No one gets hurt through my actions, or deceived, or used. It's a very simple and effective system that I use to maximize my dating results.

 

I've said many times I love women and respect them, and I see them as equals. But if I'm interested in getting dates, being friendzoned won't help me get there.

[MrCastle]

That's exactly what I always try to hint to him, but he keeps thinking I am judging that he doesn't want a relationship now and wants to sleep around. It's not about now, it's about what you're doing now will impact your future ability to relate to women when you're ready to look for a LTR, MrCastle.

 

I understand that's potential bitterness talking. Perhaps you've been burned by player types in the past so you take solace in believing that in the end, they won't be happy. I'm not that guy though. I'm not the one who banged you and never called you back. I'm not the guy who said whatever you wanted to hear in order to get in your pants. That's not me. I'm not a player. I'm a young man who loves the company of women, and I love the different things each unique woman brings. When the time comes for me to settle down, I can and will do that, with no problem. I understand what it takes to build a long term relationship, I'm just not interested in doing that right now. I know you want to believe you can't do both, but you can. You can have fun when you're young and change when you're older.

[AD1980]

My female friends are friends wives.. none of them have ever tried hooking me up so i only lee an advantage if youre somewhat attractive and theyres people for your female friend to actually hook you up with who might be attracted to you

[edgygirl]

I understand that's potential bitterness talking. Perhaps you've been burned by player types in the past so you take solace in believing that in the end, they won't be happy. I'm not that guy though. I'm not the one who banged you and never called you back. I'm not the guy who said whatever you wanted to hear in order to get in your pants. That's not me. I'm not a player. I'm a young man who loves the company of women, and I love the different things each unique woman brings. When the time comes for me to settle down, I can and will do that, with no problem. I understand what it takes to build a long term relationship, I'm just not interested in doing that right now. I know you want to believe you can't do both, but you can. You can have fun when you're young and change when you're older.

 

I honestly haven't been burned by player types at all. I mean it. That's seriously not a problem I ever had in my life. Men were always after me. Maybe now, in the last year doing OLD I am meeting a few. But they don't influence my feelings about this at all or cause me "bitterness".

 

What I am saying then doesn't come from any bitterness at all. I mean well. It's coming from a good place in my heart (sorry for the cheesiness but it is). So, I am not even thinking about players when I say the things I do to you. It's not about that at all.

 

What you don't understand is that I see my old self in you. I was like you at your age. That's why I show concern about your way of seeing things, because I see myself in you. I also dissed LTR at your age. I also wanted to meet several people and have fun. I also thought I could have and "do both".

 

But the truth is, what you do when you're young always comes biting you in your bum later in life. Don't assume that what you think you can do now is something you will be able to do. Don't assume you don't have to develop yourself now to be able to have a good relationship later. That's the mistake most of us do, it's so predictable that it's hilarious to look at younger people talking. I guess you will only see it going through it one day. No use in giving advice We all have to learn by ourselves, apparently. That's how human beings go. Hope you'll do just fine

Edited December 28, 2012 by edgygirl

[MrCastle]

I honestly haven't been burned by player types at all. I mean it. That's seriously not a problem I ever had in my life. Men were always after me. Maybe now, in the last year doing OLD I am meeting a few. But they don't influence my feelings about this at all or cause me "bitterness".

 

What I am saying then doesn't come from any bitterness at all. I mean well. It's coming from a good place in my heart (sorry for the cheesiness but it is). So, I am not even thinking about players when I say the things I do to you. It's not about that at all.

 

What you don't understand is that I see my old self in you. I was like you at your age. That's why I show concern about your way of seeing things, because I see myself in you. I also dissed LTR at your age. I also wanted to meet several people and have fun. I also thought I could have and "do both".

 

But the truth is, what you do when you're young always comes biting you in your bum later in life. Don't assume that what you think you can do now is something you will be able to do. Don't assume you don't have to develop yourself now to be able to have a good relationship later. That's the mistake most of us do, it's so predictable that it's hilarious to look at younger people talking. I guess you will only see it going through it one day. No use in giving advice We all have to learn by ourselves, apparently. That's how human beings go. Hope you'll do just fine

 

It's not really as dramatic as you make it seem. When I meet the person I deem "the one", I'll handle it accordingly. Our chemistry will take care of most of it, but I also realize there will be work involved and a change in attitude to make it happen; but I'm fine with that.

 

There is no other option here. I have no interest in being in a LTR right now. So what do I do? Sit at home until I'm ready to date long term? I have no choice but to date around.

[Mrlonelyone]

I don't believe in female friends when I'm attracted to them, because I don't settle for the friend zone, under any circumstances. Platonic is different, I'm more than capable of being friends with women I have no interest in and have done so in the past.

 

 

Ahhh I see why people are on your back. Mr could you be a FWB with a woman? She dosen't want to date you but is a real friend who cares about you and your feelings would do things for you, and would have sex with you every once in a while? Just not dating. I ask because that is one kind of friend.

 

Take that and add a life long commitment with children and day to day living together... that's not so different than being married. A spouse has to be a friend first foremost and above all else. Just ask people who made the mistake of marrying someone without the basis of actual friendship or ....imagine sharing your bank accounts, house keys, and parental rights with someone you cannot stand and actively hate.

[MrCastle]

Ahhh I see why people are on your back. Mr could you be a FWB with a woman? She dosen't want to date you but is a real friend who cares about you and your feelings would do things for you, and would have sex with you every once in a while? Just not dating. I ask because that is one kind of friend.

 

Take that and add a life long commitment with children and day to day living together... that's not so different than being married. A spouse has to be a friend first foremost and above all else. Just ask people who made the mistake of marrying someone without the basis of actual friendship or ....imagine sharing your bank accounts, house keys, and parental rights with someone you cannot stand and actively hate.

 

Yeah I'd do that. I've done it. And I totally agree you have to be friends with your spouse for it to work, but I'm not looking for a spouse.

[KungFuJoe]

 

I don't believe in female friends when I'm attracted to them

 

Ok...maybe misunderstanding then. I thought I had read that you said you don't believe in female friends, PERIOD. As if you immediately reject the notion of having a female friend.

 

If that's not what you're saying, and you have no issue with being platonic friends with a girl you're not interested in...then nevermind.

[edgygirl]

It's not really as dramatic as you make it seem. When I meet the person I deem "the one", I'll handle it accordingly. Our chemistry will take care of most of it, but I also realize there will be work involved and a change in attitude to make it happen; but I'm fine with that.

 

There is no other option here. I have no interest in being in a LTR right now. So what do I do? Sit at home until I'm ready to date long term? I have no choice but to date around.

 

That's exactly what I used to think. Lol. It doesn't work quite like that.

 

We should develop relationships with the other sex and learn from them so we are more developed when the right person comes later. That's why when I read that you are not interested in having even female friends, I was like "whaaat"?

 

Dating around is fine MrCastle! I am not telling you to stop doing it!!! I am NOT telling you to find a LTR! I am not judgemental or religious or think people should not sleep around when they are not ready for a relationship.

 

I just think that you should find a way to develop the emotional side so you can relate to women in an emotional level when the time comes as I said many times. And I said before, a great way to do it is developing friendships with the other gender.

 

Because I acted like you when I was young, it took me MUCH more time to develop healthy relationships when the time came that I wanted one. Alright I am done trying to explain my feelings, maybe I am not getting the message I want out. But just try to think about it later, it's good advice, don't dismiss it thinking I'm saying it out of bitterness or because of my specific situation in life now

[Pyro]

I don't see how anyone who thinks like this will ever be able to have a decent, mutually fulfilling LTR with a woman. If you guys don't think women are good for friendship, if you can't see how they can enrich your brain and your mind, you are only seeing them as sex objects. And no woman wants to be a sex object only. Don't you think they'll catch it eventually that you can't really relate to them?

 

Exactly! When you are in a relationship your SO is considered to be a friend. If having friends of the opposite sex is so 'icky' then good luck keeping a meaningful relationship.

 

FTR one of my best friends is a female.

 

I'm not saying to go out and find female friends but there is nothing wrong with having female friends.

 

You clearly never had ONE good relationship in your lifetime. No wonder you're bitter about women.

 

A-ham... that goes back to my usual point of why a guy who is 35-40 shouldn't seek 20 yo. Not that I want to get into that AGAIN. Noooo. Please don't answer this cause I am not going there again.

 

It's best to ignore him. He has nothing of substance to contribute here.

[normal person]

Like this i can´t be F-Zoned, taken advantage of and waste time on uninterested women. This is the way to go!.

 

Why do you think an inter-gender friendship is never anything but a precursor to a romantic relationship? Maybe that's why you're so opposed to the idea of being friends with a girl -- it sounds like you're just frustrated that you can't convert your platonic relationships into sexual ones. That's not really what a friendship is at all.

 

If that's the case, you don't have real "friendship" to begin with, you just have ploys to develop romantic relationships under a guise. It's really no wonder why you can't appreciate friendships when you think this way. Your problem isn't "having girls as friends" it's "developing relationships naturally."

 

Friendships with girls can be enriching in tons of ways. Yes, some of my female friends are hot and some aren't so much, but each one brings something worthwhile to the table. I may find myself attracted to one every once in a while, but there are 3 billion other girls out there that I'm not already friends with that I can go after.

 

If you preclude every female from hanging out with you because you can't handle a subtle sexual undertone, or you think you gain nothing from a platonic relationship, then I feel bad for you. If you want friends, be friends. If you want a relationship, develop one without deceit.

 

What guy wants to be friends with a female? I seriously gain nothing useful in insight from interaction with a female. All girls want to do is talk about useless pop culture and about their feelings about nothing in particular. Nothing really of value. Just vapid' date=' pitter-patter.[/quote']

 

C'mon, how old are you? Surely if you're out of high school you know this is laughably hyperbolic.

 

Personally, I like to hang out with people who are like-minded, easy going, fun, funny, spontaneous, interesting, etc, regardless of gender. There are people I like, and conversely there are plenty of people out there, both male and female that you couldn't pay me to want to hang out with. I like the good people, I don't like the bad people. Gender isn't a factor. My two cents.

[KungFuJoe]

Why do you think an inter-gender friendship is never anything but a precursor to a romantic relationship? Maybe that's why you're so opposed to the idea of being friends with a girl -- it sounds like you're just frustrated that you can't convert your platonic relationships into sexual ones. That's not really what a friendship is at all.

 

If that's the case, you don't have real "friendship" to begin with, you just have ploys to develop romantic relationships under a guise. It's really no wonder why you can't appreciate friendships when you think this way. Your problem isn't "having girls as friends" it's "developing relationships naturally."

 

Friendships with girls can be enriching in tons of ways. Yes, some of my female friends are hot and some aren't so much, but each one brings something worthwhile to the table. I may find myself attracted to one every once in a while, but there are 3 billion other girls out there that I'm not already friends with that I can go after.

 

If you preclude every female from hanging out with you because you can't handle a subtle sexual undertone, or you think you gain nothing from a platonic relationship, then I feel bad for you. If you want friends, be friends. If you want a relationship, develop one without deceit.

 

 

 

C'mon, how old are you? Surely if you're out of high school you know this is laughably hyperbolic.

 

Personally, I like to hang out with people who are like-minded, easy going, fun, funny, spontaneous, interesting, etc, regardless of gender. There are people I like, and conversely there are plenty of people out there, both male and female that you couldn't pay me to want to hang out with. I like the good people, I don't like the bad people. Gender isn't a factor. My two cents.

 

Holy crap you make way too much sense.

 

Who sent you? WHO SENT YOU!?!?!

 

We don't appreciate your kind around these here parts, boy.

[Pyro]

Why do you think an inter-gender friendship is never anything but a precursor to a romantic relationship? Maybe that's why you're so opposed to the idea of being friends with a girl -- it sounds like you're just frustrated that you can't convert your platonic relationships into sexual ones. That's not really what a friendship is at all.

 

If that's the case, you don't have real "friendship" to begin with, you just have ploys to develop romantic relationships under a guise. It's really no wonder why you can't appreciate friendships when you think this way. Your problem isn't "having girls as friends" it's "developing relationships naturally."

 

Friendships with girls can be enriching in tons of ways. Yes, some of my female friends are hot and some aren't so much, but each one brings something worthwhile to the table. I may find myself attracted to one every once in a while, but there are 3 billion other girls out there that I'm not already friends with that I can go after.

 

If you preclude every female from hanging out with you because you can't handle a subtle sexual undertone, or you think you gain nothing from a platonic relationship, then I feel bad for you. If you want friends, be friends. If you want a relationship, develop one without deceit.

 

 

 

C'mon, how old are you? Surely if you're out of high school you know this is laughably hyperbolic.

 

Personally, I like to hang out with people who are like-minded, easy going, fun, funny, spontaneous, interesting, etc, regardless of gender. There are people I like, and conversely there are plenty of people out there, both male and female that you couldn't pay me to want to hang out with. I like the good people, I don't like the bad people. Gender isn't a factor. My two cents.

 

Genius.

 

If this is your frame of mind then feel free to post more often.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Aren't you like an 18 year old kid? What the hell is ANY girl going to "leech" off you at 18? Gimme a friggen break.

 

An 18 year old kid who has yet to go on his first date!!

[Mme. Chaucer]

Holy crap you make way too much sense.

 

Who sent you? WHO SENT YOU!?!?!

 

We don't appreciate your kind around these here parts, boy.

 

Really. I think there's a sign someplace around here that says, "No Normal People Allowed."

[edgygirl]

It's best to ignore him. He has nothing of substance to contribute here.

 

Oh the only reason I replied was because it was EPIC to finally see one of them admitting that, although they only hunt women 20-25 yo when they are older than that, they can't have a decent convo with these girls!:

 

Greznog: "Well, maybe if women were a little more interesting. There's really no difference between an 11 year old girl and a 20 year old woman when it comes to trying to talk politics or economics, it's either fueled by complete ignorance and wishful thinking or they're simply parroting their dad/boyfriend/teacher/male coworker".

 

Hypocrisy much?

[MrCastle]

Really. I think there's a sign someplace around here that says, "No Normal People Allowed."

 

Psssst. You're a member here, too.

[KungFuJoe]

Psssst. You're a member here, too.

 

I've long ago admitted that I'm not normal.

[Casablanca]

What guy wants to be friends with a female? I seriously gain nothing useful in insight from interaction with a female. All girls want to do is talk about useless pop culture and about their feelings about nothing in particular. Nothing really of value. Just vapid' date=' pitter-patter. My male friends are rational males. We discuss literature, art, science, mathematics, fitness, politics, psychology, astronomy, sports, and of course, gender dynamics. No topic is off limits. We don't care about political correctness. A large majority of the girls I know and other guys just simply wouldn't be able to hang.[/quote']

I have had no problem discussing most if not all the topics you pointed to with my female friends...you're just hanging with the wrong crowd bubs

 

No correlation. Most of the guys I know who get the most action say that there is no point in being with or hanging out with a female unless the end result of sex will occur. They state that they don't like putting up with a girl's roundabout dialogue. So no, it's not just me.

 

Your "hypothesis" falls flat on it's face.

And by guys you mean boys, thus not men; I know plenty of men who have no problems being friends with women...the ones who have the fewest female friends or don't hang with them as much are the ones who have been less successful therefore just about any women they meet they want to get with (romantically and/or physically)

 

I have seen the light, i personality find it useless to have female friends since i have seen most don´t really want to be true friends with males.

 

Like this i can´t be F-Zoned, taken advantage of and waste time on uninterested women. This is the way to go!.

 

Of course women don´t like it, because if all men where like that they would have no friends to leech.

 

I have met plenty of women who enjoy having male friends....not really sure how having someone being your friend means they are taking advantage of you..is that only so because they don't want to sleep with you?

 

F-Zoned only means they werent attracted to you....has nothing to do with them seeing you as just a friend...that is the nice way of them saying they aren't attracted to you

[Mme. Chaucer]

Psssst. You're a member here, too.

 

I KNOW! I never claimed to be a normal person, either!

[Pyro]

Oh the only reason I replied was because it was EPIC to finally see one of them admitting that, although they only hunt women 20-25 yo when they are older than that, they can't have a decent convo with these girls!:

 

Greznog: "Well, maybe if women were a little more interesting. There's really no difference between an 11 year old girl and a 20 year old woman when it comes to trying to talk politics or economics, it's either fueled by complete ignorance and wishful thinking or they're simply parroting their dad/boyfriend/teacher/male coworker".

 

Hypocrisy much?

 

In all fairness they probably can't have a decent conversation with women their own age either.

[Mme. Chaucer]

All girls want to do is talk about useless pop culture and about their feelings about nothing in particular. Nothing really of value. Just vapid' date=' pitter-patter. [/quote']

 

Haha! I'd like to get you in a room with a handful of the women I know (including some high school girls) and see how you'd fare. You'd be eaten alive, son!

 

 

My male friends are rational males.

We get it! You're into "males." Except for sex, which is not happening, so "females" are not useful for you.

 

We do have one thing in common, though. My male friends are males too, just like yours are!

 

You know, some day you might grow out of the "girls are yucky" phase. Most boys do.

 

A large majority of the girls I know and other guys just simply wouldn't be able to hang.

 

I've read quite a few of your recent contributions here, and I suspect that the girls and other guys have a lot more interesting things on their agendas than "hanging" with you and your buddies. Sounds supremely sophomoric to me.

[Pyro]

Genius?

 

If this is what passes for "genius" now a days, then humanity as a species is truly devolving.

 

Generations vary. In your generation those who can effectively answer 50 random questions about the Jersey Shore is considered a genius.

 

(No offense to the open minded young people out there)

[KungFuJoe]

Genius?

 

If this is what passes for "genius" now a days, then humanity as a species is truly devolving.

 

It's far more open minded, logical and rational than the hatred spew you pollute this site with.

 

Seriously...who hurt you as a child? Was your mother not around? Was your dad a misogynist who instilled these thoughts in your head?

 

I can only imagine your opinions were developed from the form of some type of abuse, whether you realize it or not.

[edgygirl]

What I find epic is the fact that you're in your forties and apparently don't know what the word hypocrisy means, there's no hypocrisy in that post whatsoever.

 

So much for older women as a conversational partner.

 

And I find it epic how you deviate from the fact that you only go after 20s girls yet you know you can't talk with them. So sorry for you

 

Uh... yeah. Don't imply I'm dumb, we all know who is. I speak FIVE languages and English is not the first one. Perhaps I didn't use the right word in English, but let's see if you can talk with me in the same level I'm talking with you in any other language. Somehow I doubt it...