angie2443 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Few months ago i literally flushed away all the girls i used the hang around much with, Me, the buddies and the gym is all i need, until i find a girl who is strongly attracted to me and the opposite. I have seen the light, i personality find it useless to have female friends since i have seen most don´t really want to be true friends with males. Like this i can´t be F-Zoned, taken advantage of and waste time on uninterested women. This is the way to go!. Of course women don´t like it, because if all men where like that they would have no friends to leech. Many women use male friends as substitute boyfriends untill a guy they want completely comes along. It makes sense. You get that cozy, protected feeling without having to give it up to someone your not completely attracted to. You have a "date" when you go out with a guy friend, but you don't have to deal with the stress a relationship comes with. Then, when the guy with all the qualities you want in a man comes along, you are single and can hook up with him. Of course, not all male/female friendships are like this, but I wonder if that is what's really going on in OP's situation? 2
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Many women use male friends as substitute boyfriends untill a guy they want completely comes along. It makes sense. You get that cozy, protected feeling without having to give it up to someone your not completely attracted to. You have a "date" when you go out with a guy friend, but you don't have to deal with the stress a relationship comes with. Then, when the guy with all the qualities you want in a man comes along, you are single and can hook up with him. Of course, not all male/female friendships are like this, but I wonder if that is what's really going on in OP's situation? I've definitely gone through that with a few girls. The most extreme example was holding a girl hand while she got a tattoo on her back. A month or so after that she's sleeping with some dude (not this somedude)
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 LOL, I saw the tiger and thought you were somebody else for a second. It was time for a change. Yeah bitter is the word. And I hate it when women list criteria that I can't match no matter how hard I try. It's not something that's going to change, it's something to need to learn to accept. If anything you should be happy about the women that make it simple for you to figure out she is not interested in you. it's a lot less painful than being rejected weeks or months down the line for a reason that took her more time to discern.
angie2443 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I've definitely gone through that with a few girls. The most extreme example was holding a girl hand while she got a tattoo on her back. A month or so after that she's sleeping with some dude (not this somedude) Sorry, but I laughed at the some dude (not this somedude) part. I think this behavior happens more with younger people. They're not ready to settle, they're often looking to see how close they can get to getting their ideal guy/girl. I think much of this is subconcious. If it makes you feel any better, I do think the behavior starts fading with maturity. 2
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Good work. Like I mentioned in the other thread, that's how I did it. Eliminated every girl who friendzoned me and told myself the only girls I'll allow in my life are the ones who are interested in me. Feels good when you go through your phone and every female name listed is either a girl you're dating or a girl you'll soon be dating.
KungFuJoe Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Right... keep being a "sucker" nice guy and agreeing with women... maybe one day you wont be single anymore when you catch one thats tired of being used and abused I'm not single. I'm happily married. Been with the same woman since I was 25 and she was 23...over 13 years now. I AM a nice guy. That's why she likes me. But I'm no sucker. That's another reason why she likes me. 5
angie2443 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 It was time for a change. It's not something that's going to change, it's something to need to learn to accept. If anything you should be happy about the women that make it simple for you to figure out she is not interested in you. it's a lot less painful than being rejected weeks or months down the line for a reason that took her more time to discern. I think this is true. It is a waste of time to pine for someone who has no interest in you. The sooner you know not to waste your time on a girl who isn't interested, the more time you'll have to spend finding someone who wants you. 1
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 How come whenever LeisureGuy disappears, d'Argennes and Necromancer appear? I think we have a case of triple identity here, lol. 2
KungFuJoe Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Good work. Like I mentioned in the other thread, that's how I did it. Eliminated every girl who friendzoned me and told myself the only girls I'll allow in my life are the ones who are interested in me. Feels good when you go through your phone and every female name listed is either a girl you're dating or a girl you'll soon be dating. Does it? We'll have to agree to disagree but some of my best and closest friends over the past 15-20 years have been female. Sure, I had my best buddy (since freshman year high school) around to keep me company, but he was a horrible friend. He was funny and social and cool to hang out with but unreliable as **** (he was my best man for my wedding and didn't even show up because he was too hungover from the bachelor party the night before!). But my female friends have always been there for me. Including one girl I've known for almost 20 years and we still hang out almost every week...either going out to clubs/bars or just hanging around the house having drinks. 3
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Sorry, but I laughed at the some dude (not this somedude) part. I think this behavior happens more with younger people. They're not ready to settle, they're often looking to see how close they can get to getting their ideal guy/girl. I think much of this is subconcious. If it makes you feel any better, I do think the behavior starts fading with maturity. No it won't make him feel any better because he's exclusively looking for someone up to 25 yo, if I remember correctly, although he's 30.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Mouse. Rodent. Cat. Feline. Developmentally-challenged. Retard. Different words. Same meaning. For most of the people I know, sex and relationships are equivalent. A relationship is a way to attain sex from girls who force the guy's hand. I can't recall the amount of times in which i have heard some variation of the following: "dude, Maria's got awesome pussy but I can't stay with her after graduation". Ask anyone who is a natural at anything to explain to you their thought process for success. They can't do it. Because they don't think. They just do it. More attempts to frame me as a stupid virgin? Yawn. Thank you for proving my point re: the sort of men who think like you do, so much more clearly than I ever could. I'd post the Captain Picard facepalm ascii but it would probably get me banned. Elswyth, how is it even remotely possible that me looking through that lens or not would have any effect on being able to date somebody? It's really simple. People don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is only looking out for what benefits they can get from them. 3
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 How come whenever LeisureGuy disappears, d'Argennes and Necromancer appear? I think we have a case of triple identity here, lol. Nah, I don't think they're the same person. Same crappy mentality, but different writing styles. Unless he's a really good troll...
KungFuJoe Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Yeah dude, you're so cool. How can I be like you? You remind me of the people in high school that thought they were so elite to say condescending things to others just to be popular. And what exactly are YOU doing? Spreading negativity about women in every thread you happen to come across or start? How does that help? You guys just see what you want to see. You have some bad experiences...maybe you see your friends in bad examples...and you immediately apply that to EVERY person you meet. That's prejudiced and ignorant. There are good people AND bad people. It's not about women vs men. But you, and others here, keep seeing it that way. For the record, I know some REALLY ****ty women who TOTALLY match all the negative stereotypes passed around here. But I also know a whole bunch of completely amazing women as well. People are people and YES, there are differences when it comes to genders and relationships, but it has nothing to do with one being superior over the other. 2
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Does it? We'll have to agree to disagree but some of my best and closest friends over the past 15-20 years have been female. Sure, I had my best buddy (since freshman year high school) around to keep me company, but he was a horrible friend. He was funny and social and cool to hang out with but unreliable as **** (he was my best man for my wedding and didn't even show up because he was too hungover from the bachelor party the night before!). But my female friends have always been there for me. Including one girl I've known for almost 20 years and we still hang out almost every week...either going out to clubs/bars or just hanging around the house having drinks. Spoke on this on somedude's thread--is this friend of yours a girl you're not attracted to? Because that can work. If two people aren't attracted to each other, friends can work. If one of you likes the other and just settled for the friendzone because they believe it's better than nothing, that's not a friendship, but a soft rejection. Those don't work. Since I only talk to women I'm attracted two, I'm faced with two outcomes: either she accepts my advances and we date, or she doesn't and I drop her. No real room for friends, unless after we tried dating we agreed to remain friends if it didn't work out in the end. But that's after we've already dated. I don't friend women who won't give me a chance to date them.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Does it? We'll have to agree to disagree but some of my best and closest friends over the past 15-20 years have been female. He said friendzoned him .... if those women were really friends he wouldn't feel "friendzoned". The thing you describe, a woman who friendzones a man never dose any of those things for him. It is a one sided situation where she only takes and he only gives and if he tries to treat her even like a friend, never mind a lover, he is cut off. 1
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Good work. Like I mentioned in the other thread, that's how I did it. Eliminated every girl who friendzoned me and told myself the only girls I'll allow in my life are the ones who are interested in me. Feels good when you go through your phone and every female name listed is either a girl you're dating or a girl you'll soon be dating. I don't see how anyone who thinks like this will ever be able to have a decent, mutually fulfilling LTR with a woman. If you guys don't think women are good for friendship, if you can't see how they can enrich your brain and your mind, you are only seeing them as sex objects. And no woman wants to be a sex object only. Don't you think they'll catch it eventually that you can't really relate to them? 1
angie2443 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 No it won't make him feel any better because he's exclusively looking for someone up to 25 yo, if I remember correctly, although he's 30. Well, then he shouldn't hold this type of behavior against these girls.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 He said friendzoned him .... if those women were really friends he wouldn't feel "friendzoned". The thing you describe, a woman who friendzones a man never dose any of those things for him. It is a one sided situation where she only takes and he only gives and if he tries to treat her even like a friend, never mind a lover, he is cut off. He has mentioned that the only women he ever talks to are those that he is interested in sleeping with. So it is not possible for him to ever have real female friends because he would not be interested in talking to them to begin with. 3
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Spoke on this on somedude's thread--is this friend of yours a girl you're not attracted to? Because that can work. If two people aren't attracted to each other, friends can work. If one of you likes the other and just settled for the friendzone because they believe it's better than nothing, that's not a friendship, but a soft rejection. Those don't work. Since I only talk to women I'm attracted two, I'm faced with two outcomes: either she accepts my advances and we date, or she doesn't and I drop her. No real room for friends, unless after we tried dating we agreed to remain friends if it didn't work out in the end. But that's after we've already dated. I don't friend women who won't give me a chance to date them. Sorry, meant to, just woke up
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Well, then he shouldn't hold this type of behavior against these girls. ........Bingo.
Imajerk17 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I say give the OP some credit. This is his very first thread that isn't about looks! This is what I don't get though. The OP, Colez Fanboy, Caius Ballad, and maybe a couple other like-minded individuals have bwwn some of our most prolific thread writers. Why is it that the guys who have the least success with women are the ones giving the most advice?
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I don't see how anyone who thinks like this will ever be able to have a decent, mutually fulfilling LTR with a woman. If you guys don't think women are good for friendship, if you can't see how they can enrich your brain and your mind, you are only seeing them as sex objects. And no woman wants to be a sex object only. Don't you think they'll catch it eventually that you can't really relate to them? I'm just not looking for female friends right now. I don't understand why this is such a controversial, radical idea. I don't see any purpose in making female friends when I'm a single guy looking to fool around with women for the short term. Perhaps when I'm looking for love, for a long lasting relationship, that will change. But right now I don't see any upside to keeping women in my life who don't want to date me.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 This is what I don't get though. The OP, Colez Fanboy, Caius Ballad, and maybe a couple other like-minded individuals have bwwn some of our most prolific thread writers. Why is it that the guys who have the least success with women are the ones giving the most advice? Because clearly it isn't their fault that they don't have any success, they're amazing catches whom any girl would be lucky to nab and there is absolutely no flaw in their methodology, the problem lies solely with the dumb, shallow, unappreciative, feminist, entitled females who do not appreciate them for the brilliant geniuses that they are. :laugh: 2
ThaWholigan Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Because clearly it isn't their fault that they don't have any success, they're amazing catches whom any girl would be lucky to nab and there is absolutely no flaw in their methodology, the problem lies solely with the dumb, shallow, unappreciative, feminist, entitled females who do not appreciate them for the brilliant geniuses that they are. :laugh: Ironically I give more advice than all of them and I haven't had much more success than they have . But I'm a lot happier than they are admittedly 2
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm just not looking for female friends right now. I don't understand why this is such a controversial, radical idea. I don't see any purpose in making female friends when I'm a single guy looking to fool around with women for the short term. Perhaps when I'm looking for love, for a long lasting relationship, that will change. But right now I don't see any upside to keeping women in my life who don't want to date me. I don't think she said that there's anything inherently wrong with it, just that it isn't possible to be in a happy, healthy LTR with this mindset. Which is true. But you're not interested in a LTR, as you say, so you're all good there. I think you should bear in mind that some of the guys whom you're giving advice to ARE looking for a girlfriend, though, and if they follow the OP's and your advice they're only going to be shooting themselves in the foot.
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