Necromancer Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Few months ago i literally flushed away all the girls i used the hang around much with, Me, the buddies and the gym is all i need, until i find a girl who is strongly attracted to me and the opposite. I have seen the light, i personality find it useless to have female friends since i have seen most don´t really want to be true friends with males. Like this i can´t be F-Zoned, taken advantage of and waste time on uninterested women. This is the way to go!. Of course women don´t like it, because if all men where like that they would have no friends to leech. 2
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I've rarely seen such a self contradictory post.... How are you going to meet up with the girl who is 'strongly attracted' to you, if you cut off any window of contact and just hang around with your male buddies...? If females don't want to be 'true friends with males' - how do you explain all the good male-female friendships that DO exist - and what DO they want, then, in your opinion? Don't you think some males leech off women? These are not true friendships by the way - these are two mutually desperate individuals out for what they can get. Just as not all males are like this - so are not all females. How you going to tell this 'strongly attracted' woman isn't one of them? Your thinking and perspective is very messed up, you know..... 5
Mrlonelyone Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I've rarely seen such a self contradictory post.... How are you going to meet up with the girl who is 'strongly attracted' to you, if you cut off any window of contact and just hang around with your male buddies...? If females don't want to be 'true friends with males' - how do you explain all the good male-female friendships that DO exist - and what DO they want, then, in your opinion? Don't you think some males leech off women? These are not true friendships by the way - these are two mutually desperate individuals out for what they can get. Just as not all males are like this - so are not all females. How you going to tell this 'strongly attracted' woman isn't one of them? Your thinking and perspective is very messed up, you know..... Maybe he feels he's been taken advantage of by his female friends who weren't real friends at all. They were friends in name only. Women who, not only weren't attracted to him, but they probably did not really want to act like actual friends do. He would do something friendly for them and they would never reciprocate in a even a platonic friendly way. They may even ask him to do favors for them...move heavy things for them...but never raise a finger for him. Even worse, he would do something friendly and plantoic...they would react like he was a stranger who wouldn't leave them alone. You see Taramaiden, men in a womans friendzone are not even treated like friends. That is what distinquishes it from actually being a friend. @Necromancer Good for you, just use OLD or meet women out there, and if they don't act enthusiastic about being with you for even a minute kick em to the curb.* You deserve to be wanted and desired like mad. *That would be good advice for a woman too. At least in the early going.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Maybe he feels he's been taken advantage of by his female friends who weren't real friends at all. They were friends in name only. Well, yes. But here's the thing. The fact that there are fakes around doesn't mean that the real thing isn't worth having. Anytime you put yourself out there, there is a risk of being used by someone. You can choose to learn how to set your boundaries and how to distinguish the real from the fake, or you can curl yourself up into a little ball and never allow yourself to leave your comfort zone. I don't understand why it's so difficult to spot the leeches from the real friends. I can see it from a mile away when someone is doing it to someone else. You've gotta be real blinded by something to allow yourself to be taken advantage of repeatedly and not notice. That being said, I don't see any loss to the 'females' around the OP if he decides to do this. I doubt he was a very good friend to begin with. Friends don't come around with ulterior motives (ie expecting to be slept with). 2
soccerrprp Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Hmmm. Good for you! I have a few female friends and there's nothing between us (as far as I know)! So, not all girls object to being friends with guys. I value my female friends and get some amazing insight and advice. Good luck! 1
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 No female friends here. One year sober and proud. I was going to spend today with a girl who used to be my next door neighbor before I moved away for school. But she "woke up with a cold" today and canceled on me. Oh well, I'm driving back home tomorrow and there aren't any girls over there who could even remotely be considered a friend. 1
soccerrprp Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Yah, I believe you. if all the females you socialise with are 14, that is..... Ten minutes with me will make you think I'm one of your reg'lar guys. I can discuss Literature, Art, Science, Mathematics, (meh... maybe not so much.....) Fitness , Politics, Psychology (Oy, don't get me started, here!) Astronomy - no, maybe not astronomy... too big. And infinite. Sports, and above all - Gender dynamics. Mind you - I am way out of your league. TaraMaiden, I do not doubt it at all! 1
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 One would think that a logical and rational person would realize the divide that typically pops up in these threads - the men who have never had relationships will swear up and down that there is no point in any sort of interaction with a woman if you aren't sleeping with her, and the men who have had them or are currently in one will say that it's possible to be friends! Gasp! Could there possibly be a... correlation? Rocket... science... hurtz.. mah... brainz... 8
Mrlonelyone Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 What guy wants to be friends with a female? I seriously gain nothing useful in insight from interaction with a female. All girls want to do is talk about useless pop culture and about their feelings about nothing in particular. Nothing really of value. Just vapid' date=' pitter-patter. My male friends are rational males. We discuss literature, art, science, mathematics, fitness, politics, psychology, astronomy, sports, and of course, gender dynamics. No topic is off limits. We don't care about political correctness. A large majority of the girls I know and other guys just simply wouldn't be able to hang.[/quote'] In other words you require an intelligent woman who isn't afraid to show her abilities. Women like that exist. "I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain." - John Adams in a letter to his dearest friend and wife of 50 years Abbigail. He did discuss politics and war with her too. If it weren't for his wifes wise advice we would be living in a very different country. Then I can think of every single heterosexual male physicist I know or know of. They managed to find intelligent wives and partners. Not just examples like Einstein and Milleva Maric or the Curries. Go to any university and find out who the physicist and chemist are married to. 1/2 the time it's a female scientist, the other 1/2 of the time it's an artist of some kind. The thing is, western culture and many other cultures, discourage girls from knowing about such things. Many of them get the idea that they have to dumb themselves down to get a man. Or they let the general anti-intellectualism of our culture convince them that a man whos into such things is somehow undesireable. I know just how you feel. That is why I try try try so very hard when I do find a woman that I can talk about such things with. I also know this from the womans perspective. When I a decent looking tranny tell people what I do for a living many don't believe it. I've even had people tell me it's manly to talk about such things and that they want to be around trannies who talk about hair and nails etc. 1
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 One would think that a logical and rational person would realize the divide that typically pops up in these threads - the men who have never had relationships will swear up and down that there is no point in any sort of interaction with a woman if you aren't sleeping with her, and the men who have had them or are currently in one will say that it's possible to be friends! Gasp! Could there possibly be a... correlation? Rocket... science... hurtz.. mah... brainz... You're forgetting about the correlation that the guys who never had relationships, have had female friends and they figure out that there isn't much benefit to it. You see, these guys want to have sex and or be in a relationship and when they're just friends with a girl, they don't get those things. They are just settling. It gets even worse when the guy has feelings for a girl and she doesn't reciprocate. I do want to have female friends but it's just not something I can handle until I get a GF.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You're forgetting about the correlation that the guys who never had relationships, have had female friends and they figure out that there isn't much benefit to it. The correlation is that if you want to ever be in a happy relationship, you can't view everyone through a lens of 'what benefit can I get from them?' 3
CptSaveAho Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I don't have female friends... This is a men are from mars women are venus type thing Women and Men can't just be friends... any emotionally mature person knows this and understands this. What happens when one starts a relationship... especially the woman... that guy is toast... the friendship is gone God forbid a man has female friends and his girlfriend (who all girls are inherently insecure read the dating forum for proof of this hangs out with his female friends), that's going to make for a long lasting loving relationship... Not! This is a double standard that contrary to your views as women, you dont get ladies.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 No correlation. Most of the guys I know who get the most action say that there is no point in being with or hanging out with a female unless the end result of sex will occur. They state that they don't like putting up with a girl's roundabout dialogue. So no, it's not just me. Your "hypothesis" falls flat on it's face. Can you read? R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. S-E-X. Different words. If you have so many friends who are popular with the ladies and know everything about their uber methods, btw, why are you still a virgin? 4
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 (edited) Do I really sound like a guy that despises women and wants to make them hurt? BTW, what was wrong with me liking the post? The parts that resonated the most with me were Me, the buddies and the gym is all i need, until i find a girl who is strongly attracted to me Like this i can´t be F-Zoned, taken advantage of and waste time on uninterested women. Was anything bad about those parts? The correlation is that if you want to ever be in a happy relationship, you can't view everyone through a lens of 'what benefit can I get from them?' I don't have a clue what you are talking about. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
serial muse Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 i personality find it useless to have female friends since i have seen most don´t really want to be true friends with males. Like this i can´t be F-Zoned I just enjoyed the unintentional irony in this. You don't want to be friend-zoned by women (which means that they don't want a romantic relationship, but just want to be friends), but yet you think it's the women who don't want to be true friends and have a hidden agenda? Huh. This is logic, to you? 2
KungFuJoe Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You dont meet quality women... the ones worth keeping at clubs or bars.... nice comparison BS, BS, BS...but you keep up with that. I know plenty of people who have found their wife/husband at clubs/bars. People meet there ALL THE FREAKIN time. At least people who aren't social misfits or outcasts who suffer from anxiety whenever they step into a crowded room. I just love how you guys can so easily categorize people who you've never even met based on your small circle or minuscule sample size.
CptSaveAho Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 BS, BS, BS...but you keep up with that. I know plenty of people who have found their wife/husband at clubs/bars. People meet there ALL THE FREAKIN time. At least people who aren't social misfits or outcasts who suffer from anxiety whenever they step into a crowded room. I just love how you guys can so easily categorize people who you've never even met based on your small circle or minuscule sample size. Right... keep being a "sucker" nice guy and agreeing with women... maybe one day you wont be single anymore when you catch one thats tired of being used and abused
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 When you do, perhaps you'll have a gf. I'd post the Captain Picard facepalm ascii but it would probably get me banned. Elswyth, how is it even remotely possible that me looking through that lens or not would have any effect on being able to date somebody?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Do I really sound like a guy that despises women and wants to make them hurt? No, you don't come of as a guy that want's to hurt women or make them feel bad. IMO the proper term is bitter, you get all kinds of pissed of, when a woman posts about a dating criteria that you feel eliminates you from being a potential mate from her.
CptSaveAho Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I have friends that met at bars... 100% of them will tell you they settled because they were tired of being alone
ThaWholigan Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 it just gets more pathetic every day. You know you can actually have female friends and still get laid/have relationships. Its not mutually exclusive. 7
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 No, you don't come of as a guy that want's to hurt women or make them feel bad. IMO the proper term is bitter, you get all kinds of pissed of, when a woman posts about a dating criteria that you feel eliminates you from being a potential mate from her. LOL, I saw the tiger and thought you were somebody else for a second. Yeah bitter is the word. And I hate it when women list criteria that I can't match no matter how hard I try. If a girl said "I only date skinny or buff guys", I'd be fine with it. But when a girl says "I only date tall guys" it makes me want to rip my hair out.
NXS Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I think the OP is correct in what he says, I've never had a real female friend. I've had lots of women I thought were friends but they were never there when they were needed. And the whole sex thing was always in the background. Same in work, we recently were supposed to go out to a bar before breaking up for the holidays, not one of my female colleagues said 'see you later' or 'are you ok for a lift?' (I'm not driving at the moment and they know that), however one of the men who's not in my section came over and asked. On the other hand I've had great friendships with other men that lasted for years. I currently have four male best friends whom I can converse about anything and who would be there for me no matter what. I also have numerous other male friends, kind of like a second tier, whom I talk to regularly or meet for drinks. OP continue to develope male friends, they'll be there for you when you need them (and vice versa of course) and they'll last for a lifetime. Don't waste your time or energy looking for female friends.
TheZebra Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Right... keep being a "sucker" nice guy and agreeing with women... maybe one day you wont be single anymore when you catch one thats tired of being used and abused What are you talking about? He's happily married if I remember his posts correctly... 1
CptSaveAho Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I think the OP is correct in what he says, I've never had a real female friend. I've had lots of women I thought were friends but they were never there when they were needed. And the whole sex thing was always in the background. Same in work, we recently were supposed to go out to a bar before breaking up for the holidays, not one of my female colleagues said 'see you later' or 'are you ok for a lift?' (I'm not driving at the moment and they know that), however one of the men who's not in my section came over and asked. On the other hand I've had great friendships with other men that lasted for years. I currently have four male best friends whom I can converse about anything and who would be there for me no matter what. I also have numerous other male friends, kind of like a second tier, whom I talk to regularly or meet for drinks. OP continue to develope male friends, they'll be there for you when you need them (and vice versa of course) and they'll last for a lifetime. Don't waste your time or energy looking for female friends. This is the best advice on this post
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