Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Wait, if you only have a day or two a week to hang out, how did the 'staying over at each others' place every night' happen?
CptSaveAho Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 He's beyond help He lies to himself and deflects. When we try to coach him in the right direction. He says we're wrong and why he's smart. Yet he just landed his first job and this is the first supposed girlfriend at 26. Yet he knows everything and we are all wrong when we called the situation a few weeks ago. Now he says hes done yet talks to her for a while and goes back to being off and on again. When I'm done, I'm done, theres no discussion with the person, no talks on the phone, no rationalizing off and on in my head. Most healthy normal people do this. I offered a 100 dollar bet with my buddy that he would be try to be back with her in a few weeks. He wont take me up on it. This is a trainwreck in progress. Pop some popcorn and enjoy the show. 4
Ruby Slippers Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Everybody thinks they know everything in their 20s! I sure did. It's why 20-something relationships are drama fests and catastrophes a lot of the time! Kaylan's cool and will do fine with the ladies. He's just young.
Author kaylan Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 He's beyond help He lies to himself and deflects. When we try to coach him in the right direction. He says we're wrong and why he's smart. Yet he just landed his first job and this is the first supposed girlfriend at 26. Yet he knows everything and we are all wrong when we called the situation a few weeks ago. Whats with these stupid assumptions? She is not my girlfriend and if she was she wouldnt be my first. Now he says hes done yet talks to her for a while and goes back to being off and on again. When I'm done, I'm done, theres no discussion with the person, no talks on the phone, no rationalizing off and on in my head. Most healthy normal people do this.Meh, we like each other. Thats all I can say. Im not getting my hopes up for a serious relationship. I know the likelihood of that is low. Im realistic enough to know that. I offered a 100 dollar bet with my buddy that he would be try to be back with her in a few weeks. He wont take me up on it. This is a trainwreck in progress. Pop some popcorn and enjoy the show.Did I not just say in my last post that things most likely wont end well?Wait, if you only have a day or two a week to hang out, how did the 'staying over at each others' place every night' happen? I never said this. Someone else did. My OP specifically said we had a couple days a week at most to hang out, and that whenever we did, I stayed the night.
stillafool Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 He's beyond help He lies to himself and deflects. When we try to coach him in the right direction. He says we're wrong and why he's smart. Yet he just landed his first job and this is the first supposed girlfriend at 26. Yet he knows everything and we are all wrong when we called the situation a few weeks ago. This isn't his first girlfriend, where did you read that? Kaylan I'm sorry you are going through this just take it slow. You both are young. It's very hard to maintain a relationship with so many miles between you, especially at this point in your lives.
ThaWholigan Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Whats with these stupid assumptions? She is not my girlfriend and if she was she wouldnt be my first. Meh, we like each other. Thats all I can say. Im not getting my hopes up for a serious relationship. I know the likelihood of that is low. Im realistic enough to know that. Did I not just say in my last post that things most likely wont end well? I never said this. Someone else did. My OP specifically said we had a couple days a week at most to hang out, and that whenever we did, I stayed the night. I think he's confusing the two of us again lol
veggirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 gaaaaahh. Just spoke with her for awhile. Trying to see if anything was solveable and to make sure I made the right decision. Didnt solve anything. Still both confused. All I know is: a) We both know and told the other we dont want to rush a relationship. b) Me living 45 minutes from her school, me working 40 hours a week, her having school work, and thus us only having a day or two a week to hang out, makes her apprehensive about dating me seriously c) She says shes never met anyone like me and partly feels like shed be making a mistake if we kill all this and walk away. Meh, a big part of me wants to bail....but another part of me wants to at least enjoy how we feel good when were together...despite the possible train wreck. All in all, Im leaning on fading out in order to avoid drama Geez it's been a MONTH. She is being way too dramatic. 2x per week, when it's only been a month is FINE and is in line with not wanting to rush a relationship. Hanging out daily and falling into insta-coupledom is what's not in line with not rushing things. Neither of you seem to ACTUALLY know what you want. You both say you want to take things slow, get to know each other. And then you both say seeing one another 2x per week won't be enough to build a relationship. You say it's all casual / kinda FWBy. And then you guys act like you are a couple. This questioning in the first month would be a "no thanks" for me....I know I prob say it too much but it should be easy right now..
Author kaylan Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 (edited) Geez it's been a MONTH. She is being way too dramatic. 2x per week, when it's only been a month is FINE and is in line with not wanting to rush a relationship. Hanging out daily and falling into insta-coupledom is what's not in line with not rushing things.I know, I know. Which is why I was confused when she voiced her reservations about the distance between us and the amount of time we hang out together. And whenever I did drive to see her, shed get all apologetic about it and say "im sorry you have to drive so far to see me" or "are you sure you dont mind driving so far?"...acting like its bothering me even though we both wanted to see each other. *sigh* Neither of you seem to ACTUALLY know what you want.I did a lot of thinking today and had a couple revelations...so Im pretty sure of what I want at the moment. You both say you want to take things slow, get to know each other. And then you both say seeing one another 2x per week won't be enough to build a relationship. You say it's all casual / kinda FWBy. And then you guys act like you are a couple.Youre right. But this has been happening with me and girls since I was a young teen. My close friendships and my romances tend to move fast with women. And this is not the first time Ive had a girl quickly become enamored by how unique and different she perceives me to be. This questioning in the first month would be a "no thanks" for me....I know I prob say it too much but it should be easy right now..It should be easy. And it was all so easy until the last 6 days to be honest. I tell myself a good thing shouldnt take all this...but its been a few times now where Ive gotten into emotional situations like this rather quickly. Most of all, Im upset at myself for doing this 180 with how I feel...because now this situation feels just too crappy. I cant even explain why all of a sudden I feel differently. Id love to say its simply because I want what I cant have...but my guts telling me its more than that. Edited December 29, 2012 by kaylan
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