Febreze Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 We finally broke up after a year of dating. Mind you, he tried to get serious but he wasn't really serious since he never proposed and I told him that he needs to propose to me if he's serious. NO RESPONSE! This went on for so many months and I'm sick of it I'm 36 not 26 and he's knows this but doesn't care! He refused to shave his face and he knew how much I hated beards! Yuck! I hate it hate it and he knows this but he still kept growing it anyway and I had enough He also thinks its normal to tell me about other pretty girls. HELLO! its not the right thing to be doing if he cares about me. Omg theres so many other issues but I dont wanna run the pages all down to the bottom so the last straw was he asked me to move in with him. He must be crazy because no sane lady is gonna move in with a guy that's acting like his apt is hot stuff when it aint! Theres roaches in there and he says its normal because that's NYC and he lives in a studio and makes a good salary as a x-ray tech. LAZY LAZY! I ended the relationship on Christmas night after going by to see him and I did a lot of thinking before doing this. I'm sure I did the right thing but now I got to start all over again in the dating world and its getting harder.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You're fekking scary, you know that?? Who proposes after just one year? You sound too obsessed - no wonder he laid off... Did he have a beard when you met him? He can grow a beard if he wants, he doesn't have to do what you tell him.... my H talks about other ladies he knows, all the time. I don't feel threatened or jealous... I think you have the problem, here.... The roaches might have disappeared once you moved in.... Like I said - you sound really scary..... 11
TheZebra Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Mind you, he tried to get serious but he wasn't really serious since he never proposed so the last straw was he asked me to move in with him. Wait a minute... you're complaining he wasn't serious because he didn't propose but he asked you to move in with him? I think asking someone to become a part of you and your daily routine shows a lot more commitment than just buying a stupid ring. Did he even believe in marriage and/or want to get married? I agree w/the previous poster, you seriously have to cool down. Goodness... I don't know about you all on LS but if a guy proposed to me after only 1 year I'd think that was way too soon; regardless of age. It takes more than a year to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
mammasita Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Well, first - marriage ultimatums....especially after a year, are a sign of desperation. Why does he have to propose to prove hes serious? Age is really irrelevant. Are you on some sort of timeline? Second, if you don't like facial hair then break up with him. You can't really make him shave his beard. Third, all men (and women) will find others attractive. If he is being disrespectful when he expresses himself, then that's a problem. Simply admiring another's beauty is not wrong "she's pretty" is not insulting or disrespectful "damn, that asss is fine" would be. See the difference? I agree with the apartment thing. It sounds like you did both he and yourself a favor by breaking up. I don't think you truly wanted to be with him anyway. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 @ this thread. Creepy. One comment only: Third, all men (and women) will find others attractive. If he is being disrespectful when he expresses himself, then that's a problem. Simply admiring another's beauty is not wrong "she's pretty" is not insulting or disrespectful "damn, that asss is fine" would be. See the difference? I disagree. It's one thing to find other women attractive or pretty, it's another to SAY SO in front of your significant other. It's disrespectful IMO, and while it doesn't make me insecure, it just is not good manners... I find a lot of guys attractive, but I never said so in front of my man, because it's bad manners and yes, it might make him jealous (he would've gotten jealous if I had done that, but HE did the same with women -- said this woman is hot, right in front of me!). That's just disgusting! 2
Author Febreze Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 You're fekking scary, you know that?? Who proposes after just one year? You sound too obsessed - no wonder he laid off... Did he have a beard when you met him? He can grow a beard if he wants, he doesn't have to do what you tell him.... my H talks about other ladies he knows, all the time. I don't feel threatened or jealous... I think you have the problem, here.... The roaches might have disappeared once you moved in.... Like I said - you sound really scary..... You must be the scary one because u dont know what you're talking about FYI!! He didn't have that ugly forest on his face when we met. He only had a five o' clock shadow and its nothing but he kept growing and growing and I'm not putting up with that. Its my right not yours, mind you missy!! What man tells you he loves you and yada yada but cant get up the balls to pop the question, huh? To me he was just talking sweet music to keep getting in my panties but not anymore And his apartment is a disaster! HELLO! How are those disgusting roaches gonna run away after someone moves in to that nasty place? You tell me how right now! That place needs a makeover bigtime and the bathroom tiles are coming up and the hardwood floors creak when u walk. Thats not normal living in my eyes missy 1
TheZebra Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 What man tells you he loves you and yada yada but cant get up the balls to pop the question, huh? My parents didn't get married until I was 9 years old and they only did it so I could get my US citizenship... they've been together for 25 years.
rocketman122 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 We finally broke up after a year of dating. Mind you, he tried to get serious but he wasn't really serious since he never proposed and I told him that he needs to propose to me if he's serious. NO RESPONSE! This went on for so many months and I'm sick of it I'm 36 not 26 and he's knows this but doesn't care! He refused to shave his face and he knew how much I hated beards! Yuck! I hate it hate it and he knows this but he still kept growing it anyway and I had enough He also thinks its normal to tell me about other pretty girls. HELLO! its not the right thing to be doing if he cares about me. Omg theres so many other issues but I dont wanna run the pages all down to the bottom so the last straw was he asked me to move in with him. He must be crazy because no sane lady is gonna move in with a guy that's acting like his apt is hot stuff when it aint! Theres roaches in there and he says its normal because that's NYC and he lives in a studio and makes a good salary as a x-ray tech. LAZY LAZY! I ended the relationship on Christmas night after going by to see him and I did a lot of thinking before doing this. I'm sure I did the right thing but now I got to start all over again in the dating world and its getting harder. u seem desperate. ur clock is ticking.
Author Febreze Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 u seem desperate. ur clock is ticking. I'm not desperate. I just dont wanna stay with a guy that isn't serious about us is all. I hinted off many times about this issue and he ignored it or played dumb. I finally made up my mind after seeing what a slob he is and he tells me that its normal for a single guy? HELLO! we was supposed to be a couple getting ready for the New Year and he talks this crap to me? GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE!
gaius Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Good for you. Nothing wrong with having needs and moving on if they aren't being met. 2
coffeebean201 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Sorry it didn't work out. Did you have friends in common? Was he starting to build a life together with you?
Radu Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 While he does sound like a bit of a slob, i think he's better off. Nobody likes living in a guilded cage with an abusive speaker blasting. Love calling TM 'missy'. 1
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Lesson #1 on how not to behave with men. No wonder guys say women are crazy. 1
Andy_K Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Did he have a beard when you met him? He can grow a beard if he wants, he doesn't have to do what you tell him.... I think it's fair enough. I mean, my girlfriend had no beard when I met her, but if she grew one I'd dump her! 6
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Sounds like you made the right choice. There seems to have been tons of incompatibilities and like you were not on the same page. You need to pull back and let off the reigns, just because you made bad decisions with men in your past that lead you to relationships that didn't go anywhere or choosing men who were never emotionally available and likely a laundry list of other things doesn't mean you get to put your frustration and impatience on someone new because of that...this guy isn't supposed to be perfect and committed just because your decisions were reckless and unwise in your past. Regardless of what took place in your past, he doesn't owe you anything and even if he's crazy too which is likely doesn't mean it was going to last either, you should realize by your age now that words come cheap from men. Forcing an ultimatum of marriage on a man is never a good idea, it's a great way to get yourself in a situation you'll regret and so will he. If you want to get married, fix yourself, and choose the right men instead of trying to just pick some random guy off the street then force him into being everything you want him to be. 5
Shaun-Dro Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 (edited) We finally broke up after a year of dating. Mind you, he tried to get serious but he wasn't really serious since he never proposed and I told him that he needs to propose to me if he's serious. NO RESPONSE! This went on for so many months and I'm sick of it I'm 36 not 26 and he's knows this but doesn't care! He refused to shave his face and he knew how much I hated beards! Yuck! I hate it hate it and he knows this but he still kept growing it anyway and I had enough He also thinks its normal to tell me about other pretty girls. HELLO! its not the right thing to be doing if he cares about me. Omg theres so many other issues but I dont wanna run the pages all down to the bottom so the last straw was he asked me to move in with him. He must be crazy because no sane lady is gonna move in with a guy that's acting like his apt is hot stuff when it aint! Theres roaches in there and he says its normal because that's NYC and he lives in a studio and makes a good salary as a x-ray tech. LAZY LAZY! I ended the relationship on Christmas night after going by to see him and I did a lot of thinking before doing this. I'm sure I did the right thing but now I got to start all over again in the dating world and its getting harder. So a man must yank out the engagement ring to show how he feels about you, correct? He must keep clean-shaven to show his respect for you. This man must ignore other women around him so you don't throw a tantrum. He must keep his apartment clean at all times because he just never know when his bossy girlfriend will show up. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
escafeld Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 We finally broke up after a year of dating. Mind you, he tried to get serious but he wasn't really serious since he never proposed and I told him that he needs to propose to me if he's serious. NO RESPONSE! This went on for so many months and I'm sick of it I'm 36 not 26 and he's knows this but doesn't care! He refused to shave his face and he knew how much I hated beards! Yuck! I hate it hate it and he knows this but he still kept growing it anyway and I had enough He also thinks its normal to tell me about other pretty girls. HELLO! its not the right thing to be doing if he cares about me. Omg theres so many other issues but I dont wanna run the pages all down to the bottom so the last straw was he asked me to move in with him. He must be crazy because no sane lady is gonna move in with a guy that's acting like his apt is hot stuff when it aint! Theres roaches in there and he says its normal because that's NYC and he lives in a studio and makes a good salary as a x-ray tech. LAZY LAZY! I ended the relationship on Christmas night after going by to see him and I did a lot of thinking before doing this. I'm sure I did the right thing but now I got to start all over again in the dating world and its getting harder. Are you familiar with the phrase 'constructive dismissal'? You've been a victim of it. Your boyfriend very cleverly constructed a situation not to your liking so you would end the relationship..probably in the belief that your reaction would have been quite hysterical if he had. 2
dreamingoftigers Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm not desperate. I just dont wanna stay with a guy that isn't serious about us is all. I hinted off many times about this issue and he ignored it or played dumb. I finally made up my mind after seeing what a slob he is and he tells me that its normal for a single guy? HELLO! we was supposed to be a couple getting ready for the New Year and he talks this crap to me? GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE! Holy cow. HELLO! you sound almost identical to my mother-in-law! She cares more about being controlling and having everything and everyone "JUST SO" in her life than how they might feel or think. HELLO! the problem is you! Read about boundaries. HELLO! BOUNDARIES by Cloud and Townshend HELLO! HELLO! Dwyla is that you? Are you still mad that I bought your Chinese food two days ago and we didn't really like it that you screamed across the restaurant that we couldn't "pay you to eat this"? If you aren't Dwyla, you sound just like her! Maybe I should pm you her phone number and you two can talk about how awful this younger generation is and how to keep a man in line, and how everyone must owe you something for breathing the same air you both do! HELLO! you are driving people away! HELLO! you aren't behaving rationally either! HELLO! you don't get it because pushing people around is more important than the people themselves. HELLO! just because someone chooses something for themselves that bothers you, doesn't mean that you are "right" they are "wrong" and that "they are hurting you." it means they made a choice in their own sphere of influence that isn't up for judgment, scrutiny and irrational anger! 1
crude Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You make it sound like he's disgusting, annoying, and a jerk, yet if he put a ring on your finger he'd be your husband. You might want to look in the mirror and see who's really to blame for your discontent. 3
Charlene78 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 He didn't have that ugly forest on his face when we met. He only had a five o' clock shadow and its nothing but he kept growing and growing and I'm not putting up with that. Its my right not yours, mind you missy!! And his apartment is a disaster! HELLO! That place needs a makeover bigtime and the bathroom tiles are coming up and the hardwood floors creak when u walk. Thats not normal living in my eyes missy You're joking right? 1
RhapsodyinBlue Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I think you did him a favor by letting him go... 1
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