Beachbabe9109 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 My boyfriend and I always check our phones occasionally whenever we hang out. When we do hang out, it is the entire day, so it is understandable. However, just as of lately he has been way more glued to his phone than normal. We were going to go out yesterday, and he was playing a game on it. It took us like 20 minutes to leave because he wouldn't stop playing it, even though I kept telling him let's go a few times. Then I drove, and he played the whole way there and didn't stop until after a few minutes after we arrived. Once we got our food, he pulled his phone back onto the table and played the entire time. When we left, he played the whole way back. All this playing on his phone means hardly any talking. Later that night I asked, "So have you gotten used to your new phone?" (he got a new phone like 2 days ago) and he said yeah why? I said, "well you've been glued to it more than normal" and he just said he was rediscovering some of his old apps. I was trying to subtly bring it up, but he didn' catch on. Just for clarification, it is games that he is doing on his phone. Not texting/calling. He might send 1 or 2 texts, but that isn't the issue. So....? Do I bring it up? Or just let this game thing phase out. We're in our 20's.
MrCastle Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Let him enjoy the phone. He just got a new one. If this is still an issue a month down the road then maybe you sit him down and talk to him. No need for petty arguing yet. It's the holidays. 2
Million.to.1 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I agree with Mr Castle to a certain degree.. but a month!? ..F@#k that! What he did was actually really rude. I think you did well not mentioning it till you did. I would of been quite pissed off when it came out again at lunch and I would have said something. Being preoccupied with your phone while being a passenger in a car is really disrespectful to the person driving you, and so using your phone, ESPECIALLY playing a game, while sharing a meal with someone. It is the height of bad manners. I'm a bit older though...30's but I'm certainly no prude. People should be PRESENT. Technology is great, and i love my iphone and i play games on it, but there is a time and a place and that's not when I'm in company. Games usually do faze out. But I would knock this whole 'doing it while hanging out with you' habbit on the head pronto if i were you. I would just nicely ask him next time he does it not to play games on his phone while hanging out with you, as he can do it later when he's on his own or with his mates. Smile sweetly and just say, "otherwise, I'll just have to start playing games on my phone when we're having sex" 2
MrCastle Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I agree with Mr Castle to a certain degree.. but a month!? ..F@#k that! What he did was actually really rude. I think you did well not mentioning it till you did. I would of been quite pissed off when it came out again at lunch and I would have said something. Being preoccupied with your phone while being a passenger in a car is really disrespectful to the person driving you, and so using your phone, ESPECIALLY playing a game, while sharing a meal with someone. It is the height of bad manners. I'm a bit older though...30's but I'm certainly no prude. People should be PRESENT. Technology is great, and i love my iphone and i play games on it, but there is a time and a place and that's not when I'm in company. Games usually do faze out. But I would knock this whole 'doing it while hanging out with you' habbit on the head pronto if i were you. I would just nicely ask him next time he does it not to play games on his phone while hanging out with you, as he can do it later when he's on his own or with his mates. Smile sweetly and just say, "otherwise, I'll just have to start playing games on my phone when we're having sex" Yeah, I should have said a few weeks or so if it's consistent. Or a month if it happens every now and again. If it happens everytime they hang, then certainly don't wait a month to speak on it. Anyway, this is what happens in relationships. Eventually you get used to each other and you tend to lose some of the magic. (Cue the people who will come in and say they've been together with their SO for years and they get more intimate every year). Anyway, yeah, if you're spending the entire day together, that leaves more time to do other stuff. You can't be 100% focused on someone if you're overkilling the relationship by smoothering each other.
Arabella Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Eh yeah, this is not acceptable. Both my boyfriend and I are technical people who love gadgets, so I can relate to their appeal. My boyfriend has occasionally gotten distracted with his phone for a couple minutes, and when he does, I just say something like "When you're done, we can start the movie" or just gently tug it out of his hand, set it down, and hug him. No need to make a huge deal out of this. Just a quick, off-handed comment about it to let him know it bugs you, and move on. -A
Dangraystyle Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 He sounds like an idiot. What guy goes out with a girl and spends it stuck too his phone? Maybe if you were teenagers but both in your 20s?
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Let him enjoy the phone. He just got a new one. If this is still an issue a month down the road then maybe you sit him down and talk to him. No need for petty arguing yet. It's the holidays. I really don't agree. I think that interacting with your phone while you are supposed to be socially engaged otherwise is rude and dismissive. I know it's "normal" but I can't stand it. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Give him a break - he got a new phone 2 days ago. I got mine 2 weeks ago and I still play with it a lot. It's called novelty. That said, if I had gotten my phone and my bf were around (mine wasn't), I wouldn't have played with it in his presence... I'd give him the benefit of the doubt , for another week tops. It's bound to wear off, and he will soon get bored of it. 2
MrCastle Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I really don't agree. I think that interacting with your phone while you are supposed to be socially engaged otherwise is rude and dismissive. I know it's "normal" but I can't stand it. I think it's rude in the dating stages, especially in the beginning, but once you get familiar with someone, standards and expectations change. Initially a girl is never gonna let me see her without makeup on or her hair done, once we get more intimate, she won't care. If this guy was just starting to date this girl, all attention would be on her, uninterrupted. But he's already got her. They're exclusive. If he wants to play some games, let him play some games.
veggirl Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 That's obnoxious. I would have said "if all you want to do is play on your phone, I am gonna go and we can hang out when you can tear yourself away from your games. Just sitting and watching you play on your phone is not any fun for me." 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I think it's rude in the dating stages, especially in the beginning, but once you get familiar with someone, standards and expectations change. Initially a girl is never gonna let me see her without makeup on or her hair done, once we get more intimate, she won't care. I'm married, and I am obsessed with a game I play on my phone. But when my husband is with me, in the car or wherever, I do not play it (unless it's during the times when we BOTH are doing solitary things, like reading, on the phone or on our computers). I also try to look good around him all the time. 2
Casablanca Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Give him a break - he got a new phone 2 days ago. I got mine 2 weeks ago and I still play with it a lot. It's called novelty. That said, if I had gotten my phone and my bf were around (mine wasn't), I wouldn't have played with it in his presence... I'd give him the benefit of the doubt , for another week tops. It's bound to wear off, and he will soon get bored of it. I agree with this
phineas Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 angry birds starwars edition just came out....
Radu Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Million is right, this is not acceptable behaviour on his part. Personally, i next girls when they pull this stuff on me during the 1st/2nd date. In a relationship though, i don't know what to tell you ... except that it is not a good sign of maturity.
Febreze Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 My boyfriend and I always check our phones occasionally whenever we hang out. When we do hang out, it is the entire day, so it is understandable. However, just as of lately he has been way more glued to his phone than normal. We were going to go out yesterday, and he was playing a game on it. It took us like 20 minutes to leave because he wouldn't stop playing it, even though I kept telling him let's go a few times. Then I drove, and he played the whole way there and didn't stop until after a few minutes after we arrived. Once we got our food, he pulled his phone back onto the table and played the entire time. When we left, he played the whole way back. All this playing on his phone means hardly any talking. Later that night I asked, "So have you gotten used to your new phone?" (he got a new phone like 2 days ago) and he said yeah why? I said, "well you've been glued to it more than normal" and he just said he was rediscovering some of his old apps. I was trying to subtly bring it up, but he didn' catch on. Just for clarification, it is games that he is doing on his phone. Not texting/calling. He might send 1 or 2 texts, but that isn't the issue. So....? Do I bring it up? Or just let this game thing phase out. We're in our 20's. You better start worrying, girl, because it sounds to me like he's tuning u out for that new phone. He might be texting another girl so u better check that out
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