HurtinUnit Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I'm dying inside, the tears won't stop and I have a lot of packing to do. He's being so good to me, hugging me, holding me... telling me how much he loves me. Makes me want to punch him in the head. If you love me so much, if I am so amazing... WHY??? I've given up everything in my world to be with him. I loved him so much. I did so much for him. I feel so alone. I have pretty much accepted the outcome, It's just so hard while I'm still here. So hard looking him in the eyes, being close to him, having him hug me. Those hugs used to bring warmth and now every time he touches me it's like a knife in my throat. I wish I didn't have to do this alone. I wish I had somewhere to go. Someone to talk to. Somewhere to crash. He doesn't owe me anything. He doesn't have to be with me. That's fine, I accept that. I just can't believe he's doing this the day after Christmas and with such a bs reason. I really am not that surprised but incredibly hurt. I'm just being thrown away like a piece of garbage. The things I will miss the most are cooking him dinners, making his lunches, breakfasts. I'm definitely into the whole domestic thin and really loved doing that stuff. I don't think he ever really cared but it made me happy. I'm not going to miss the constant wondering of who the new girl is and why she's so much better than me. Or watching him cringe when his phone goes off and all of a sudden having to go to the bathroom. Waking up in the morning hearing him whispering on his cell. First time I've ever really been "in love" I never though it would hurt this bad. Never thought hearing "I love you" would make me want to die. I can't wait for this to be over. I can't wait to get on the mend because this is unbearable. I want to beg, scream, cry, throw things. So far all I've done is cry. No, that's not true, I did beg for the truth, I begged him to tell me the truth as to why, not that I got it. frig.
veggirl Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Wow I just read your first thread. What an AS.SHOLE! He moved you across the country and was likely cheating on you. When he is hugging you, tell him GTFO!!! I am so sorry you are hurting. He is a sick fk. 2
Author HurtinUnit Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Thanks Veggirl - That's what I don't get... How could he move me here (on my dime) let me give up everything when he was already screwing with someone else? Why bother? If only for the fact that it caused HIM problems? Forget my feelings and what this has done to me. WHY WOULD YOU CAUSE YOURSELF SO MUCH INCONVENIENCE? It's hard to tell him to get off -in three days I'll say goodbye for the last time, hop in a cab and that's that. Despite everything I am still so ridiculously in love with him. I hate this, I hate him and I hate me for letting it all happen.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Honey you have to retrieve your dignity and tell him to stay away from you, at arm's length. This is HIS fault. This is entirely on him. Get him away from you. he's a lying, cheating scumbag, and please remember - the tears are more for himself than for you. He feels sorry for himself, and guilty and wants you to love him unconditionally so that he doesn't feel so bad about being the lowlife that he is. he is lower than a pair of python bollox in a wheelrut. He's a base scumball, and you need to tell him to lay off the hug - because you will take the next hug as a desperate plea to stay, and a commitment to never cheat again. Anything else is just hypocrisy.
Missing Him Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 His tears and his hugs are only because he feels guilty. And he should. He has a lot to feel guilty for. Get out of there as quickly as you can and don't look back. I know it's hard but the sooner you're able to remove every piece of him from your life - the better you'll feel. Good luck hon!
Author HurtinUnit Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Thanks TaraMaiden I needed to hear that. Yes those crocodile tears are all for him, I see it in his face. It doesn't even matter anymore, I'm on that jet in 3 days. Then it's over, I will really try to keep him away, it's hard but it is harder to have him close. UGH this sucks so bad. Thanks guys
Author HurtinUnit Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 MissingHIM - Thanks for your reply, yeah I've already started removing pictures and the like from computer, all my albums are in a storage locker boxed up, and I imagine there they'll stay until I find some peace.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I mean it - tell him the next time he hugs you - "You'd better be hugging me because you want me to stay, and because you don't want to cheat any more, and because you want to give me your full commitment, and total transparency. If you're hugging me for any other reason, then get the hell off me and don't come near me!!" You need to get angry. He's using you as an emotional prop now. Sure as eggs is Easter, the moment you're out of there, the tears will stop, and he'll be sexting another woman.... 1
Author HurtinUnit Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 I know it... He'll have this woman in what was "our" bed before my plane takes off. he can't freaking wait to get me out of here. Frankly I don't blame him, I'm definitely a killjoy at the moment. Yes the hugs need to stop. Right. Now.
portableversion Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 im so sorry to hear your story, hang in there, at least you all dont have kids together. there is no justice in this world, ive concluded htere is nothing worse htan to be rejected by somone you love so much. personally ive had to come crawling back to church and other things, once every sunday is not enough once i get laid off im gonna goto church every morning. if he dumped you dont call him dont text dont do anything get the frick away. if they want you theyll come back in touch but be careful still yet. My ex divorced me in august after a very very hasty divorce and she called me last saturday to see how i was doing and was wondering how i was doing we were on the phone for overn an hour and i finally told her i don want to hear you or see you, oh it hurt but she needs to committ ton something. lost love is the absolute worst. i dont know why i havnet killed myself yet, perhaps its the boys perhaps its my mom i dont know. death would be so much easier than this... to go just kick it with god and jesus it wouod be nice they wont ever leave us, theyll love us forever and wont go shag someone else while we are expected to keep a straight face, sex is so powerful folks dont undersatand how powerful it is and waht it does to people
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