Febreze Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm assuming men prefer a challenge when it comes to first meeting gals and when start seeing them. Being new to the dating world, please share some suggestions which may assist me in being a bit of a challenge. I don't want to be the gal who is always available at his whim. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Let him wait 6 months before sleeping with him. I should've done that
joystickd Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Let him wait 6 months before sleeping with him. I should've done that 2 months is the limit. 6 is just BS and games.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 There is an element of truth, however, to the claim that men respect women who are not very available to them more than they respect women who seem available to them most of the time. Men also like "bitches" who do things on their own time rather than conform to a man's schedule. I learned that the hard way. I was too "flexible", fit myself into his schedule, etc. I should've been more bitchy. This is not playing hard to get. This is about men not having their way all the damn time, and turning you into their plaything.
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Let him wait 6 months before sleeping with him. I should've done that LOL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!
CarrieT Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Guys prefer a challenge about as much as women prefer being banged and then never hearing from the guy ever again. Not often I agree with Greznog, but this is spot-on.... 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 2 months is the limit. 6 is just BS and games. unless it's for religious reasons. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 There is an element of truth, however, to the claim that men respect women who are not very available to them more than they respect women who seem available to them most of the time. Men also like "bitches" who do things on their own time rather than conform to a man's schedule. I learned that the hard way. I was too "flexible", fit myself into his schedule, etc. I should've been more bitchy. This is not playing hard to get. This is about men not having their way all the damn time, and turning you into their plaything. I'm sorry, as far as I'm concerned this is wrong. IMO men respect women who are into us, but are not tripping over themselves to see us every moment they possibly can. Being bitchy just to be bitchy is a good way to get dumped. Just be yourself.....
NoMoreJerks Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm sorry, as far as I'm concerned this is wrong. IMO men respect women who are into us, but are not tripping over themselves to see us every moment they possibly can. Being bitchy just to be bitchy is a good way to get dumped. Just be yourself..... I never said being bitchy "just to be bitchy." It's just an attitude to your life and your interactions with people, including regular friends. I find that I always make the time and trip over myself to meet friends at their desired timing, and every time *I* suggest a time, they are always too busy, bla bla bla, always excuses. SO: I stopped. I stopped doing that. I will not bend over backwards just to hang out with them at their own whim. Sometimes I was busy and said no to their offer, and other times I wasn't busy and said no anyway, and went out for food or drinks on my own. Friendship and relationships are built on compromise and flexibility (sometimes), but when no one is willing to make ANY compromise except for YOU, then you are compromising yourself, and that is no way to appear attractive.
edgygirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm sorry, as far as I'm concerned this is wrong. IMO men respect women who are into us, but are not tripping over themselves to see us every moment they possibly can. Being bitchy just to be bitchy is a good way to get dumped. Just be yourself..... There's a point about NoMoreJerks statement though. Whenever I am not paying too much attention to someone... the guy gets absolutely crazy about me and pursues a lot. Whenever I am too nice and show my good girl side, initiate emails/text as much as he does... things don't work. Guys seem to lose interest when the girl shows she cares. You might argue that only a certain kind of men would act like that, but I am not convinced yet. I think a lot of people do it, unconsciously, both male and female. Seems like we crave what it's difficult to get. Human nature?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 There's a point about NoMoreJerks statement though. Whenever I am not paying too much attention to someone... the guy gets absolutely crazy about me and pursues a lot. Whenever I am too nice and show my good girl side, initiate emails/text as much as he does... things don't work. Well, I can only think of two reasons for a guy to chase when you contact less. One he is a player and wants to keep you on the hook, or two he is worried you are losing interest in him. Guys seem to lose interest when the girl shows she cares. You might argue that only a certain kind of men would act like that, but I am not convinced yet. I think a lot of people do it, unconsciously, both male and female. Seems like we crave what it's difficult to get. Human nature? Again I can only see this being the case for one of two reason, either he isn't as interested as you think he is, or he thinks you are to interested.
Weezy1973 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 There's a point about NoMoreJerks statement though. Whenever I am not paying too much attention to someone... the guy gets absolutely crazy about me and pursues a lot. Whenever I am too nice and show my good girl side, initiate emails/text as much as he does... things don't work. Guys seem to lose interest when the girl shows she cares. You might argue that only a certain kind of men would act like that, but I am not convinced yet. I think a lot of people do it, unconsciously, both male and female. Seems like we crave what it's difficult to get. Human nature? It's actually much simpler than this. If a girl is a challenge, it means she is desirable and has many guys that would be interested in her. The challenge is in "winning" out over those other guys. That being said, she has to be worth the extra effort. When a woman is making an effort and being more forward, it usually means that the guy is desirable and desired by many women. Basically almost every person struggling to find a relationship can boil their problems into one sentence: The people I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and the people that are interested in me, I'm not interested me. This "challenge" phenomenon is just a symptom of that.
Woggle Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You just have to pick the right kind of men if you want one who appreciates a low drama relationship. Besides why would you want a man who simply has want what you can't have syndrome instead of truly being in love anyway? There is a huge difference between the two.
Fondue Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 As soon as I detect the woman is throwing a **** test at me by "being a challenge," I no longer desire her. Games are for children. I don't date children, I date women. It's funny, too. I have learned to read that **** quite well. Especially in texts. I love timestamps. You will start to notice that she would text you back EXACTLY 2hours after, or on xx:00, or just in time patterns. It is quite hilarious, really. I recently was looking over texts of a few women I have been courting, and I noticed that with quite a few of them. They all are "trying" to look busy, but they're just fooling themselves. So don't "try" to be a challenge. If you are afraid to appear to clingy/needy/available, then simply do not be available. Occupy yourself with something else. If you have trouble doing that, then leave your phone elsewhere and stay away from it for a while. Hell, leave it in your car when you get home from work and let it stay there till the next morning. Do something else the entire evening.
veggirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 The only reason women are told to be a challenge is because they tend to start mentally planning a future with the dude on the 3rd date. "be a challenge" in the sense that you don't confuse lust with love, you don't think chemistry = soulmate, etc. Don't give more than you are getting, keep some healthy boundaries and remember that someone you've known for a month still has a lot of layers to them that you DON'T know. You don't have to make him call you first everytime, but you shouldn't be chasing him. 3
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Let him wait 6 months before sleeping with him. I should've done that Hah! Yeah right. Frankly I wouldn't want to be with a girl who could go six months without sex. And if she was still having sex with other dudes and making me wait for the six months, "Oh hell nah!"
Andy_K Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 'Being a challenge' is this thing girls have mistakenly got into their head is a good way to keep a guy interested, for the simple reason that it often makes guys who only wanted sex hang around longer to get it, and as ninja mentioned, occasionally resign into something they never really wanted in the first place. When it 'works', you have either: 1) Got a guy who liked you anyway, enough to put up with the crappy games early on but would rather you'd just been straight 2) Have shot yourself in the foot and got a guy who wasn't really that keen. Drama, mistreatment, commitment-phobia, and general heartache to ensue imminently.
CptObvious Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I personally prefer the easiest difficulty setting nowadays(well, 1 pinch above chloroform and rope)
KungFuJoe Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I personally prefer the easiest difficulty setting nowadays(well, 1 pinch above chloroform and rope) Well the jokes on you! Chloroform isn't so easy to obtain these days! Don't ask how I know that..............
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