hardtolove Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 My ex suggested that "we just be friends" a few days ago after being together for 4 months, and I agreed because I knew I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I told him that. Now he hasn't stopped texting me since, he just never finishes the conversations (he just stops responding after a few texts). It's almost like he should have never contacted me in the first place because it's a waste of my time. We're supposed be trying to be 'friends', but he's just annoying me now. Should I just ignore his texts from now on?
Treasa Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Yes. Yes you should. Unless you like feeling like you're dangling from a hook. 3
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 He made that suggestion for his benefit, not yours. It makes him feel better about reducing your relationship to friendship because if you comply, then he really can't have hurt you all that much, can he, and everything's ok....Right...? Wrong. Read the Caliguy No Contact Guide in my signature/link. It's all explained in there. Drop him like a hot brick.
WhatsTheAnswer Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Yes it drives me crazy!!! When we were together we had real texting conversations when the conversation was ending she would sign off. Now when I get a few bread crumb texts it is light weight, she ignores most of what i text back and then she disapears no sign off. What is with that. Are they scared that they might seem like they care that much? Or are they just testing to see if we are still on the hook and really don't want a conversation?
soccerrprp Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 He's playing with you! Kick him to the curb!
WhatsTheAnswer Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 @Tara yes I saw the guide. That is when I realized I was getting bread crumbs. It's so rude. And selfish. I believe communication is important. If there is chance in a relationship then I don't believe in NC serial contact is important to keep some sort of bond of the other person. However, if they are done for good and you know you can't wait then yes then NC is the only way to break free. I had many long term relationships in my life and I had a few lovers that took years to get over. I was still talking about them fondly to friends way after it was over. This current break up will haunt me for years as well. I will spin over it never endingly. I know I have built her up even higher in my mind. I think we all get complacent in our relationships at some point and then the "realize what you had until its gone" syndrome kicks in. I was lucky enough in one past break up to flip the switch I instantly got over that one. Interestingly enough that woman broke up with me because i was committing to her but I was noticing some odd behavior so i was cautious. she breaks up with and then i was devastated but by accident one day i was reading an article about Borderline Personality Disorder. Bam!!! There is was!!! She had every strange symptom every one!!!! And it was a long list. From cutting herself, to anorexia (she starved herself but wasn't skinny) The vomiting after eating, slam a cabinet door on her head. throwing the Phone into the wall, chaotic relationships, (she was ****ing anyone who would have her for awhile I found out later she even stalked TV people and ****ed them) unusual preoccupation with pets. Her cats were like her children. Deviant sex (actually I liked that symptom). She had suicidal thoughts. She hid these really well you would never know she had the affliction but I noticed the symptoms here and there over time. But I was in love with her as I knew the rational side of her. It took awhile to notice all of the symptoms she was hiding. Once I read that article I was free of her. Just like that. I could not make her issues my issues and that was very freeing. Unfortunately I have nothing like that to pull me out of this current break up with most recent GF. I am searching for that magic switch but I don't see any hope for that any time soon. This will be long and drawn out.
Author hardtolove Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Yeah, I definitely think he's playing games with me to see how I will react. He's just that type of guy, selfish enough to do that, even though he hurt ME throughout our whole relationship. He likes having this control (texting me and me responding), but I guess I need to take different measures to take that away. The sad truth though is that I actually want to remain friends with him in the future. How do you suggest I go about doing this? Do I still ignore him until I feel like talking? Do I tell him that I want some space? Should I start ending the conversation first lol? Should I just cut him off for good, until I see him again?
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 The sad truth though is that I actually want to remain friends with him in the future. How do you suggest I go about doing this? Do I still ignore him until I feel like talking? Do I tell him that I want some space? Should I start ending the conversation first lol? Should I just cut him off for good, until I see him again? You can only be genuine friends with someone who held you heart, when you feel benign indifference towards them. In other words, when you see him in the arms of another woman, who's holding his baby, and all you think is "Well good on him, I wish him well, but... yeah, so what?" Until that moment comes, the only question you need to ask yourself is: NC is the way to go, right? To which we all reply with a resounding - HELL, YEAH!! 1
Author hardtolove Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Well do I at least tell him that I want my space first? or just flat out ignore him?
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Flat out ignore him. Completely. Totally. Entirely. 100%. say nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Okay? 1
Author hardtolove Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Gotcha lol thanks you guys, I just hope this works out
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 The one and only reason it won't work - is if you cave and give in to breadcrumbs..... Keep that NC guide handy. It can - and will - save your sanity.
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