ekim Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 After being with the same person for 5 years we decided to get married, after being married for about a year my wife goes to visit with her parents in florida for about a month, during this time she decides that she wants to leave me, I sent her flowers and asked her to re-consider her decision. Fast forward about 2 months later, my wife came back to me! claiming she still loved me, I asked her if she cheated on me and she tells me no. this is the week before christmas, Jan 10th was when I found out she cheated on me, she used my computer and did not clear her recent downloads, I guess the person she cheated on me with sent her the viedeo and pictures that they made. After looking at the pictures I noticed that the date stamp is from the same day that she told me she still loved me and was going to come back to me, the same day I sent her flowers and she signed for them her self and immidiatly called me to tell me she loved them. While we were dating and married and even to this day, my wife has never let me take pictures of her naked, or during sex, Ive never really even seen her naked, to tell you the truth i feel like a total looser, but this is on the internet and annomity is key i guess. After learning of her affair, she immediatly told my mother she was pregnant, and tried to prety much turn my family against me, my father understood as i told him what happend, he told me she was probally after money even though i dont have very much. I went on a year long drinking binge, took my close buddies out to the bar every night got plastered, paid for all the drinks for every one, some nights i racked up a $3000 tab. I spent my entire life savings got rid of it all, now we live negative pay check to pay check. fast forward 4 years, Im miserable, cannot go outside with out asking my warden, and im stuck raising some one elses kid, wife shows me no affection at all, refuses to leave me, no sex no nothing. Ive reached the end of my rope not really sure whats left to do at this point, Ive considered just up and dissapearing, ive been putting money away since the drinking binge stopped..... yeah
Balzac Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You kinda skipped over the "not my kid" part. Sounds like you signed the birth certificate as husband, never tested for paternity? How do you know for certain the child is not your's? You sound very unhappy in the marriage. Why are you staying married?
BetrayedH Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Doesn't sound like she is truly remorseful. Perhaps that should be a dealbreaker for you if her previous actions weren't in the initial days. Staying with a cheating spouse is pretty common in the initial aftermath; about 80% of guys do it and about 90% of women. It's a shock and we just want our spouse and life back. Scrape up enough money for a paternity test and an attorney's retainer. At least have a consultation with a divorce attorney and find out your options. Her cheating doesn't need to be a life sentence for you. By the way, there is life after divorce.
standtall Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 ekim...Your post is not adding up and is missing a lot of info, but based on what you've written, I can say this. Infidelity and a child born under marriage that is not the husband's is divorce grounds in every religion and every damn state known. Why are you staying married? Divorce and leave. End of story.
road Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Mistake not having a DNA test. Correct that ASAP. Then get a divorce. 1
Author ekim Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Thanks for all the replies and support guys, a paternity test was never done, she was back with me for 2 months before getting pregnant so its safe to say the child is mine, just thinking about all of this gets me riled up. I've tried to leave and get a divorce but she refuses to let that happen, every time we get to filling out the paperwork she changes her mind and promises that she is gonna change. Hasn't happened yet so im pretty sure its never gonna happen. Im still down for the disapearing act, mexico or amsterdam seem like nice places.
BetrayedH Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Thanks for all the replies and support guys, a paternity test was never done, she was back with me for 2 months before getting pregnant so its safe to say the child is mine, just thinking about all of this gets me riled up. I've tried to leave and get a divorce but she refuses to let that happen, every time we get to filling out the paperwork she changes her mind and promises that she is gonna change. Hasn't happened yet so im pretty sure its never gonna happen. Im still down for the disapearing act, mexico or amsterdam seem like nice places. Your wife can be compelled to provide the documentation necessary for a divorce. If you want to be divorced, you can be. 1
road Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 fast forward 4 years, Im miserable, cannot go outside with out asking my warden, and im stuck raising some one elses kid, wife shows me no affection at all, refuses to leave me, no sex no nothing. Ive reached the end of my rope not really sure whats left to do at this point, Ive considered just up and dissapearing, ive been putting money away since the drinking binge stopped..... yeah Get a paternity test. Without having inrefutable proof no sane course on what to do next can be reached.
BetrayedH Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Get a paternity test. Without having inrefutable proof no sane course on what to do next can be reached. I can't disagree with this. In one breath you say you're raising someone else's kid and in another you say it's yours. This is part of a life altering decision for you, your wife, and the child.
Thegameoflife Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 You sound defeated. You need to take charge of your life, and start running things how you want them to be run. Really, she can't withold sex, cause she is already. She won't divorce you either, so there is really nothing she will do about taking charge. From now on when you go out, you tell her where you're going. You don't ask. If she needs you to ask her, than she is a control freak, and you need to break that mentality, and show her you're your own boss. Never bag for sex. If she's refusing, too bad for her. Stop trying, and lose interest. She should be having sex with you as her duty as your wife. This isn't something you should have to ask of her, like she's a pussy gatekeeper. Demand respect from her. Don't give her anything she wants until she respects you.
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