meg1818 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 ive been talking to someone who is been going through a hard time, we been talking a month, and since then her mom passed away and she had surgery. she is very needy and said she doesnt get feelings often. she told me she was scared and when shes scared she runs, we been bickering lately because she has been ignoring me. but always has apologized the nest day, after i harass on xmas she ignored all my texts, and i told her off, and cursed her. still no response. i really want to talk to her about it, but she hasnt answered at all in two days, maybe i should just move on and forget how close we were getting, i dont ignore ! i think its very rude, and it makes me snap, regardless of what she is going through. do u think she will eventually break the ice?
VioletSummer Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Erm, she's been going through a super tough time. When someone is depressed or sad you may just want to be alone and not talk to someone. Having cursed at her has not helped the situation, I would apologise right away in your shoes. However if you say you've done it before, why should she accept your apology in any case?
sid3 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 ive been talking to someone who is been going through a hard time, we been talking a month, and since then her mom passed away and she had surgery. she is very needy and said she doesnt get feelings often. she told me she was scared and when shes scared she runs, we been bickering lately because she has been ignoring me. but always has apologized the nest day, after i harass on xmas she ignored all my texts, and i told her off, and cursed her. still no response. i really want to talk to her about it, but she hasnt answered at all in two days, maybe i should just move on and forget how close we were getting, i dont ignore ! i think its very rude, and it makes me snap, regardless of what she is going through. do u think she will eventually break the ice? No. I think you should move on, she's not too interested IMO.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 she could've also told him that she needed some space because she was going through a rough patch. how hard is that? This sounds like a completely dysfunctional interaction... 1
Author meg1818 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 i've never cursed her ! i cursed her for ignoring me on a holiday when all i wanted was a merry christmas. she has to take my feelings into consideration too, and no i won't apologize i meant it. adults need to talk. if you need alone time you tell the person. she is acting beyond juvenile, and i'm reaching a breaking point. it sucks because i am bery attached and hurt by her, and she can't even answer or show any emotion
gaius Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Her being depressed is no excuse to ignore you. She has to carry her weight in the relationship despite what she's going through. Usually when wide scale ignoring starts happening on the woman's end the relationship is grinding to an end anyway, your reaction might have just accelerated the pace. Whatever you do don't follow Violet's advice. Apologizing to a woman when she's done something wrong is one of the most unsexy things you can do.
sid3 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 ive been talking to someone who is been going through a hard time, we been talking a month, and since then her mom passed away and she had surgery. she is very needy and said she doesnt get feelings often. she told me she was scared and when shes scared she runs, we been bickering lately because she has been ignoring me. but always has apologized the nest day, after i harass on xmas she ignored all my texts, and i told her off, and cursed her. still no response. i really want to talk to her about it, but she hasnt answered at all in two days, maybe i should just move on and forget how close we were getting, i dont ignore ! i think its very rude, and it makes me snap, regardless of what she is going through. do u think she will eventually break the ice? How do you get so attached talking to someone for month, let's be real for a second. Her month died and she's had surgery during this same month. Also you said talking to,not seeing. That aside, how much time could you have realistically spent together while she's had all that going on. My guess is you've come across as extremely needy, while she has been going through two of life's most difficult experiences. Regardless of what you consider rude, you have no business snapping.
Author meg1818 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 i dont know. she started off being the needy one. we text and phoned a lot. i got used to it. we always set up times to meet shed cancel. the surgery and her moms death. we were supposed to meet this week, and she started in again, not answering me.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Whatever you do don't follow Violet's advice. Apologizing to a woman when she's done something wrong is one of the most unsexy things you can do. Well, he did do something wrong -- he did have an unacceptable outburst, even if there was a reason for it. He does have to apologize, IMO, but that is a moot point given that this 'relationship' is heading nowhere. There is nothing more unattractive and narcissistic than a man who refuses to apologize when he HAS done something wrong. That's partly why the relationship with my narcissistic ex broke down.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Well, he did do something wrong -- he did have an unacceptable outburst, even if there was a reason for it. He does have to apologize, IMO, but that is a moot point given that this 'relationship' is heading nowhere. There is nothing more unattractive and narcissistic than a man who refuses to apologize when he HAS done something wrong. That's partly why the relationship with my narcissistic ex broke down. stop projecting Their relationship is a train wreck already 1 month in, there's no need to apologize for anything... its over He did the right thing in not taking her crap and calling her out on it Next step... move on to the next girl
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 You'll move on if you have any sense, there's too many red flags here....beat your head against a wall and bicker about it and rage when she goes hot and cold, in the end you're just a passing ship that she needed to anchor herself to for a while until she gets herself back together...she's not in a state to be in any kind of relationship or sort out emotions, she has enough on her plate...and your expectations are unrealistic considering the circumstances. This will be a waste of time in the end....but learn the hard way if you must.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 stop projecting Their relationship is a train wreck already 1 month in, there's no need to apologize for anything... its over He did the right thing in not taking her crap and calling her out on it Next step... move on to the next girl Not projecting anything -- I already stated that this was " a moot point given that this 'relationship' is heading nowhere." But he had no right to snap at her like that. IMO it shows that he, too, has issues. Maybe issues feeling empathy for her loss and what she might be going through. Sounds like a narcissistic trait to me.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) Not projecting anything -- I already stated that this was " a moot point given that this 'relationship' is heading nowhere." But he had no right to snap at her like that. IMO it shows that he, too, has issues. Maybe issues feeling empathy for her loss and what she might be going through. Sounds like a narcissistic trait to me. She's an extreme push pull chick... He has every right to vent his frustrations on how he get drawn in by this You got drawn in by the same type of crap... did you apologize to your ex when he went cold on you after you got mad.... if you did... you screwed up Again you are comparing... projecting to your ex's experiences... Edited December 26, 2012 by CptSaveAho
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 She's an extreme push pull chick... He has every right to vent his frustrations on how he get drawn in by this You got drawn in by the same type of crap... did you apologize to your ex when he went cold on you after you got mad.... if you did... you screwed up Again you are comparing... projecting to your ex's experiences... Yup, I did apologize to my ex, but in my case, I never cursed at him or said such mean things, and my ex wasn't coping with his mom's death. It was wrong of me to apologize for getting angry at his behaviour, but if I had cursed at him or said mean things, especially if he lost his mom recently, I would have HAD to apologize.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Yup, I did apologize to my ex, but in my case, I never cursed at him or said such mean things, and my ex wasn't coping with his mom's death. It was wrong of me to apologize for getting angry at his behaviour, but if I had cursed at him or said mean things, especially if he lost his mom recently, I would have HAD to apologize. You're laying your expectations on someone else... your moral belief system of whats right and wrong(projecting)... she never checked into a relationship... so apologizing wont even do anything... its a waste of oxygen He doesnt have to do anything but walk away.... NEXT 1
Author meg1818 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 I stayed on the phone with her when she cried, i was there for her. i offered to drive to the funeral.(hours way ) i was always there for her, she is the narcisst not answering me ! i don't deserve this, she drew me in is right, used me to comfort her, and now pulls back, and i should apologize for cursing after the 10th message in two days she has not answered !
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I stayed on the phone with her when she cried, i was there for her. i offered to drive to the funeral.(hours way ) i was always there for her, she is the narcisst not answering me ! i don't deserve this, she drew me in is right, used me to comfort her, and now pulls back, and i should apologize for cursing after the 10th message in two days she has not answered ! And another "NICE" Guy bites the bullet... women....(you should apologize...give me a break)
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 she never checked into a relationship... Oh OK I see you want to have your cake and eat it too. If she never checked into a relationship, why does she owe him a swift response? My friends often take a few days to get back to me about things. Methinks OP is a bit possessive of someone he was never in a relationship with, and whom he saw/dated for a month. NEEDY and a NARCISSIST who cannot deal with not being the center of attention! NEXT!
edgygirl Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Man... her MOM DIED this month and you are pissed that she didn't reply to your texts? wth! She is not even your girlfriend. And then you get mad and curse her? Are you f-ing kidding me? Give the woman a break, you acted irrationally and imo, you were a bit selfish and insensitive. She is going through bereavement! Be a little more compassionate. Losing a mother must be one of the most painful times in one's life. You don't even know what she might be feeling in such a difficult time. Perhaps Xmas made her remember the ones she celebrated with her mom and it brought so much pain that she didn't even check the phone or didn't feel like answering? It's a legitimate reason to disappear. You should have been more understanding if you were really interested in her. And you should have apologized. 1
charlietheginger Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I had a relative die and i stopped returning Calls and texts for atleast a month. Every call and text was "hope your doing ok" "hang in their" "sorry about your loss" And conversations were similar to this " hey how are you blah blah" And id be in tears. Sometimes you just want to be left Alone and not talk to anyone
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