TheZebra Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 He broke up with me 3 months ago. I've since moved on and have realized that I am happier without him. We talked recently, about life, work, friends/family and he mentioned that he had a gift for me that he wanted to bring over. Since I live w/my folks, he was worried about how my parents felt and wanted to know if it was ok to come to my house or not. I mentioned this story during x-mas and everyone in my family gave the 'he realized he made a mistake and wants you back' speech, but I don't know. We agreed to stay friends, but heck, I haven't gotten him anything. Didn't even cross my mind. Anyways, multiple questions here, what do you think his intent is? If he does want to get back together, what's the best way I can tell him 'no'? He's a great guy, but I just don't see him that way anymore. I feel nothing for him... but I feel like saying that is a bit harsh. I just want to be prepared in case that's what his true motivation is.
Appleness Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I'm not sure how you feel about him but at this point, would your feelings for him change if he did want you back? What if he just really wants to give you a present with no other motives? Would you be disappointed? Our friends and family mean well but ultimately how YOU feel is the key here. You can't make your heart feel something that isn't there. And if you do have feelings, then maybe you should consider talking about them if you are comfortable as friends. Me personally, I wouldn't think too far into it. But that's just me. I think most people would just be upfront about wanting someone back if that's what they truly wished for. Good luck!
Arabella Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I spent a couple hundred bucks on my ex, after I ended our engagement back in April. Why? Because I care for him and I wanted to get him something I know he needed. No other motives. Just sayin'... -A
Amelie1980 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I spent a couple hundred bucks on my ex, after I ended our engagement back in April. Why? Because I care for him and I wanted to get him something I know he needed. No other motives. Just sayin'... -A You shouldn't do that.....it really messes with the head of the one who has been dumped.
Arabella Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 You shouldn't do that.....it really messes with the head of the one who has been dumped. He knows what the deal is. Would it be better I just let him go without something he -really- needs and cannot afford? That just seems heartless. Sometimes, a gift is just a gift because you care about that person. OP, just ask him flat out what his intent is. Save yourself the time and emotion wondering what he means by it.
Author TheZebra Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 True, I may as well ask since we're not really shy with each other anymore. All gloves came off w/the break-up. His birthday was exactly 3 weeks after we broke up and I just couldn't bring myself to give him anything. It hurt too much at the time. I just texted him a quick happy birthday and let it be. As to my feelings, while I don't exactly love being single, I prefer being single over being with him. It's not that he's a bad person; not at all, it just took a few months of us being completely apart for me to realize that in the long term we are REALLY incompatible. Just thinking about what my future would've looked like if we had stayed together makes me shudder. I'm only guessing here as to what my feelings would be depending on his intentions, but if he *did* want to get back together I'd feel sad. Sad that I'd be turning him down and making him feel bad. I would actually feel a little relieved if it was just a gift for the sake of being a gift.
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