kallyc Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I've been having an affair for almost a year and I've read a lot of studies stating it is unlikely you will will end up with the person you cheat with...what are your experiences. I left my husband....as in literally packed a suitcase one day and left and have been living with the om ever since. I'm totally in love with the om and plan on filing for divorce soon, but the stats scare me a bit. I wonder how often people find their true loves through an affair and how often it works out.
mammasita Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Sorry not in that situation, but wanted to inject my two cents. I don't think it's likely. Why would anyone want to be with a cheater. Short term it's dreamy but long term, history repeats itself. 4
BetrayedH Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Stats give you about a 3% shot of making it. You're not likely to find much empathy here as many of us had our marriages thrown away for what really amounts to nothing. The dynamics of an affair are very different from a real relationship. 1
jwi71 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I've been having an affair for almost a year and I've read a lot of studies stating it is unlikely you will will end up with the person you cheat with...what are your experiences. I left my husband....as in literally packed a suitcase one day and left and have been living with the om ever since. I'm totally in love with the om and plan on filing for divorce soon, but the stats scare me a bit. I wonder how often people find their true loves through an affair and how often it works out. My xWW is not, to my knowledge, involved with her OM. For your case, you are not taking positive actions to have a long term future with your D. No R or M is a guarantee. Nothing in life is. You need to file for D so you can focus on creating a healthy future with your OM and not let fear keep you from moving forward.
CarboniteCammy Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Is there some reason you feel like your relationship with your partner will not work out?
Radu Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Chances are low and it has a lot to do with the affair partners. In your case, it would be the fear of unknown, which you admit to in the last sentence of your post. You admit you packed your suitcase and left when you knew you had basically 2 guys [husband and future guy]. But now that stats have made you think that the thing with the OM will not work out, you are not so willing to give up on your husband which is an ... asset. That signals insecurity. And it is something that no-one can fix in you. OM, husband ... it doesn't matter. Choose one, let the other go, and be confident in your choice. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 If statistics that you found from a random website can make you doubt your relationship, then it's obviously not much of a relationship. 1
sweetkiwi Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I wasn't married but i cheated on a good man. I ended it immediately and started dating the other guy. Only lasted 8 months. It was a terrible match. And If i had been thinking with my big brain it wouldn't have happened period.
Radagast Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I've been having an affair for almost a year and I've read a lot of studies stating it is unlikely you will will end up with the person you cheat with...what are your experiences. I left my husband....as in literally packed a suitcase one day and left and have been living with the om ever since. I'm totally in love with the om and plan on filing for divorce soon, but the stats scare me a bit. I wonder how often people find their true loves through an affair and how often it works out. There are no reliable statistics on this. Few studies have been conducted and these are typically not representative. It is not a topic, logically, that would solicit widespread honesty among respondents. Moreover, statistics are bound to be discouraging - what percentage of any kind of relationship results in "finding true love" or in the two parties ending up together? There are examples on these boards of affair couples who have ended up together, sometimes briefly and sometimes for many decades. My wife and I are former affair partners who have been together now for more than eight years, as an example. But your concern with these seems to be masking a deeper insecurity about your own relationship. If you feel that leaving your marriage was the right thing to do, then why the hesitation to file for divorce? And if you are "totally in love" with your boyfriend why the reluctance to commit fully?
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