BenH1000 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I've been dating this girl now for 3 months, and we just became "official" about a week ago. Things are going great, we have a lot in common and always have a ton of fun together. And physically, things between us could not be any better! However, there is one area where we are very different. She is very extroverted and has a TON of friends. I am more introverted and have significantly fewer friends -- though I can fairly easily hold conversations and get along well with others. I only have a few friends in the city we live in, and she's met just one of them - an old roommate of mine. I have met a bunch of her friends. My concern is that at some point, she's going to bring up a question about my social life, or seemingly lack thereof. I have not friended her on Facebook yet, because I am, sadly, a bit embarrassed about my profile (the low # of friends and photos). Should I be concerned, or am I just needlessly worrying? She hasn't alluded to this being an issue for her at all, and if she likes me for who I am, well then that's beautiful. But something tells me she's going to think it's a red flag that I am not introducing her to more friends, or that I don't have a close circle of buddies (I have friends in all sorts of different social groups).
Kupo Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It shouldn't be a problem. You like each other and meet each other's needs, and I know more than a few couples that consist of very introverted men with very extroverted women. That said, there is always the possibility of people being fussy over the tiniest things (in which case, better sooner than later). I don't think this is something that you should hesitate to mention in a healthy relationship that you want to stay in: That you're much more of an introvert and are worried she might find how few people you introduce her to strange.
coffeebean201 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I'm the same as you - friends in all sorts of social groups and I specifically haven't connected with a bunch of them on Facebook. We email instead.
veggirl Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 You're making way too big of a deal out of this! I'm sure she has realized you are introverted. I am pretty outgoing but I have a VERY small social circle. I like it that way. I am not embarrassed about it. I also only have 91 friends on FB, which most of my friends have like 500 lol. I don't care, no one else has ever cared either. So if she brings up your social life, what do you think she'd ask? I really don't think this is a big deal at all. I have never, ever struggled in dating because of a small (legit small) social circle. 1
SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It depends on her maturity level. If she likes you for you it shouldn't matter... BTW is this the girl form a while back that didn't initiate much contact??
VioletSummer Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Facebook friends hardly give you realistic outlook on how many genuine friends she has. I mean I have close to 400 friends on Facebook, people I've known from School/College/University and people I've met at parties and nightclubs. How many of them do I actually talk to on a daily basis and hang out with? Maybe 10-15. I wouldn't worry about the number of friends you have or how many she has, if anything having a lower amount of friends looks better in my opinion.
LittlePrince Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 If she had this issue then she shouldn't have dated you in the first place. She might prefer you since she doesn't have to compete.
Author BenH1000 Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 It depends on her maturity level. If she likes you for you it shouldn't matter... BTW is this the girl form a while back that didn't initiate much contact?? Haha, good memory man! Nope, different girl. Things with that girl fizzled out a loooong time ago. And good riddance, I say. The girl I'm with now initiates contact, helps plan dates, etc etc...such a breath of fresh air after the crap with that other chick!
GMG90 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 It shouldn't be a problem. It sounds like two are enjoying each other and the # of friends you or she has shouldn't really matter all that much ... especially when she likes you for you already.
edgygirl Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I am extroverted and prefer shy guys. I don't care how many friends my SO has. If she likes you, that should be enough. And she probably already noticed you don't have many friends and she's still with you, right? Don't be embarrassed about fb, it doesn't matter. I have 700 friends there but I hardly see them in real life and they are not close to me. Fb is an illusion, being "popular" there means nothing really. And I honestly think being "popular" in real life doesn't mean much either. 1
Author BenH1000 Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Thanks, all, for the feedback. This definitely helps and yes, I think she definitely likes me for who I am! Good to have a sounding board here.
truth_seeker Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I am extroverted and prefer shy guys. I don't care how many friends my SO has. If she likes you, that should be enough. And she probably already noticed you don't have many friends and she's still with you, right? Don't be embarrassed about fb, it doesn't matter. I have 700 friends there but I hardly see them in real life and they are not close to me. Fb is an illusion, being "popular" there means nothing really. And I honestly think being "popular" in real life doesn't mean much either. I would be more alarmed with a someone who has way too many friends on FB then not many at all. 1
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