geegirl Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I wonder if I should get out and date again or am I too hurt? The last thing you should do. You're emotionally empty and have nothing to offer anyone. Instead of looking for a man to fix you, start focusing on trying to fix yourself and the void that you have within. 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 So, everyone's made super-human efforts to help you - and you're still down and unable to function? Hate to smack you in the face with this, but if your parents are sick of it - maybe they have a point. You have to give yourself a limit to how deep you're going to allow yourself to fall. And if you don't put the brake on, everyone - here, and your friends IRL - will eventually act like your parents. "BY all means call on God - but at least, row AWAY from the rocks." Everyone can offer all the support, counsel and strong shoulders you might need - but if you don't put an equal effort in - then after a while, people get tired of carrying heavy stuff - you know? 1
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I know. I know. you're right. I've never been this hurt and I've never felt pain like it. it's hard at Christmas and I'm blaming myself for what happened with him. so many things i couldve done differently.
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Its rich coming from my parents though. I've listened to their s h I t for years. always helping its never ending.now when I need help and am truly suffering.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I know. I know. you're right. I've never been this hurt and I've never felt pain like it. it's hard at Christmas and I'm blaming myself for what happened with him. so many things i couldve done differently. And you think dating would help? I don't think so, really - do you?? You can't roll the clock back. You need to stop with the "I should, I could...." It's bollox, and it's the best progress inhibitor in the world. It stops you moving forward. Instead of pondering what you should have done - you need to shift your focus on what you can do now, to get yourself up and out of the rut. Give me three things, right now, which might at least count as little steps. Just three. Come on. Out with it. You do some work, for a change....
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Start wearing make up again go to the gym again see friends more
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Start wearing make up again have a good long bath with candles, plenty of smellies, and colour your hair... then apply make up. And smile at yourself in the mirror - "Damn, you look good, gurl!" go to the gym again Follow a sensible, balanced and suitable health regime. Set no targets, have no expectations. Just turn up regularly, and do the work. Then have a sauna and a swim. see friends more But insist right form the outset, and demand that no conversation even touches on him, and that nothing negative is said, expressed or hinted at. From now on, all talk and time will focus on having fun and being positive!!
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