Minadee Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) Ex texted me today. He was casual and flirty, asking to see me in my new clothes. Then he stopped texting just like that. I bawled and broke down, told everyone to leave me the hell alone then took it out on my brother's girlfriend who has been nothing but nice to me and I feel like an absolute ass. She was showing off what my older brother had got her and I stormed out of the room like a spoilt brat. My father told me to leave and that I had ruined everyone's day. Boy, do I feel like a complete bitch. I cannot believe I have let him ruin this special day. I can't even have a drink or a smoke for obvious reasons. I just want to call him and tell me to pick me up but he's out drinking with HER. Edited December 25, 2012 by Minadee
coltsfan1 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Mindee YOU have got to quit talking to him!! Speaking to him is obviously NOT helping.... Give your family a few days then swallow your pride and start apologizing to the people who deserve one. 1
Frank13 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Minadee I have been following your story and i feel so bad for you. I agree with coltsfan1.
mammasita Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 He wouldn't have effed up your day if you didn't respond to him....better yet, if you had blocked his number.
GLDheart Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 He's a douche. Stroking his ego and getting off by torchering you... but when do you take the reigns back?
Treasa Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. *hugs* I would say call her up and apologize, and do the same for the rest of your family that were there. I'm sure they must understand how hard things are for you right now, given all the circumstances. I'm so proud of how well you've done, though. Keep it up. I promise things will get better. But seriously, ignore this jackass. I have no respect for someone who does what he did to you and then continues to toy with your emotions. Or, better yet, contact his...whatever she is..and tell her to tell him to stop contacting you and hitting on you.
Author Minadee Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Hi everyone, i was so afraid of looking at the responses it took me all my courage to scroll through and read them! Luckily on the day I picked myself up and apologised to poor Hannah for being a complete jerk and loosley explained why I was feeling like I was, and she being a wonderful girl went on and on about how much she adored what I had got her, which was nice. I then had a shower and went back to my fathers and we played rubbish games and I actually had quite a nice Christmas. I hope you all had a lovely day too! 1
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I wrecked Christmas too with my depression. I couldn't get out of bed and lay in until 12:30. Hadn't even wrapped up my families presents. Didn't eat Christmas lunch. oh well.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Amelie1980, you have a thread in which you're studiously ignoring advice.... In fact, you have several threads, but you need to stop this.... You need to pick yourself up. And not 'gate-crash'.....
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You need to understand that depression is an illness that you can't snap out of easily. Tell everyone.with depression to stop it....think it'll work?
CarrieT Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You need to understand that depression is an illness that you can't snap out of easily. Tell everyone.with depression to stop it....think it'll work? You aren't being told to stop it - it has been suggested you take a shower, wash your hair, and go for a walk. A LOT of us have been through very severe depressions and know that the first steps towards healing are baby steps; like getting off the couch and changing the destructive patterns of behavior that feed the depression. You have done none of those things, despite the continued and heartfelt suggestions of those here who are wise in the ways of helping others. 2
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You aren't being told to stop it - it has been suggested you take a shower, wash your hair, and go for a walk. A LOT of us have been through very severe depressions and know that the first steps towards healing are baby steps; like getting off the couch and changing the destructive patterns of behavior that feed the depression. You have done none of those things, despite the continued and heartfelt suggestions of those here who are wise in the ways of helping others. Bless your heart.
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You aren't being told to stop it - it has been suggested you take a shower, wash your hair, and go for a walk. A LOT of us have been through very severe depressions and know that the first steps towards healing are baby steps; like getting off the couch and changing the destructive patterns of behavior that feed the depression. You have done none of those things, despite the continued and heartfelt suggestions of those here who are wise in the ways of helping others. Ive done that a lot and I do have a job you know too. I've been to the gym too. it isn't making me feel better. Medication makes me feel worse. I don't know what to do. it isn't easing and it's worrying me.
Million.to.1 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You need to understand that depression is an illness that you can't snap out of easily. Tell everyone.with depression to stop it....think it'll work? I love it how people in a depressive state think they are the only ones who have ever felt that way... Tara and Carrie are right Amelia. You need to take control of the little things in your life that you can. Make small changes... They become big ones. Wallowing in "depression" and using that as an excuse not to do anything just keeps you safe from change. And nothing will change unless you do. And that's coming from a diagnosed depressive who never uses medication. Fresh Air. Sunlight. Exercise. Nature. - These are your tools.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Stop with the medication. Interact with people who love you and mean a lot to you. Interact with complete strangers. Be in company, and above everything else, whatever you do, do NOT drown your sorrows in drink. You may well have to do this in baby steps, but you have to at least take those steps. And if you keep 'blocking' good advice with the equivalent of "But I can't!" then you're your own worst enemy. As the late Great Henry Ford once said: "Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't - you're right."
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I don't drink much at all. never developed a taste for it. What has made it worse is that I've been unwell for a few weeks. severe inner ear infection that ruined my balance I couldn't walk without feeling I was going to fall over. lots of medication, etc and it took 3 weeks to get under control. still reeling now. lost loads of weight. it's just all hit me st once. I wonder if I should get out and date again or am I too hurt?
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Do NOT even think of dating again, until you can look on memories of him with total indifference. You're in no fit emotional state. Why do that to another guy? Worse still, why do it to yourself? Put yourself into a place of priority.
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 The LAST thing you should do it date... Why? my friends said it'll take my mind off it.
CarrieT Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Why? my friends said it'll take my mind off it. Read what Tara wrote above. Your friends don't know what they are talking about.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 You're kidding - right? All you will do is end up comparing 'Mr New Guy' to your ex. And what if they fall head over heels in love with you - but you're still pining over him? What if they want sex, and you just end up screwing for the sake of it? No, bad idea. Your friends suggested this? Do they know how depressed you've been feeling the past few days? Do you think they'd still suggest it, knowing how you feel?
Chi townD Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Because you're not healed from this relationship. You haven't fulling mourned the loss of the relationship. So, you start going out and start dating, how is that being fair to yourself and it certainly wouldn't be fair to the guy that you would date.
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Yes they know. My friend got dumped in summer last year. She was very hurt. She went dating again found a nice new guy straight away & they're together a year now.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 yeah, and of course, lightning strikes twice and you're just like your friend. Have they been round to offer you comfort? Have they tried to take you out of yourself? Have they stayed with you and helped you through this?
Amelie1980 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Yeah one took me to the movies. Another took me for dinner. Talked on the phone etc. Hard over Christmas as everyone is with family do I'm s bit alone. My parents are sick of me and don't want to hear it.
Recommended Posts