SJC2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Trying to get a perspective on this as a relatively inexperienced man. The last woman I dated made her first snide remark on our last date. When we were at the movies she said "why did you sit us here", it wasn't loud but loud enough for at least the closer people to hear. Is this something women do in general or only certain ones??
Ross MwcFan Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Trying to get a perspective on this as a relatively inexperienced man. The last woman I dated made her first snide remark on our last date. When we were at the movies she said "why did you sit us here", it wasn't loud but loud enough for at least the closer people to hear. Is this something women do in general or only certain ones?? Some women are just bitches. Tell her to **** off, and then you should date someone else. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Some women are just bitches. Tell her to **** off, and then you should date someone else. It's already over but I'm wondering due to my lack of exp if this is something woman do in general or only the ones I seem to be drawn to?? Her comment could be considered public criticizm right??
Keenly Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 My ex loved to make back handed really passive aggressive comments. Keep an eye out for that. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Trying to get a perspective on this as a relatively inexperienced man. The last woman I dated made her first snide remark on our last date. When we were at the movies she said "why did you sit us here", it wasn't loud but loud enough for at least the closer people to hear. Is this something women do in general or only certain ones?? Errr, nope... I would never do that sort of thing, even if I'm irritated by it.... I was raised to be polite. Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm too polite for my own good. Men sometimes like women who mistreat them this way. My ex loved his exes even though they treated him like ****. Me? I gave him unconditional love and was so polite with him, paid for my dinners and drinks, got him a birthday present 3 months into the relationship, apologized if I did anything wrong, etc. But he dumped me anyway.
LittlePrince Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Trying to get a perspective on this as a relatively inexperienced man. The last woman I dated made her first snide remark on our last date. When we were at the movies she said "why did you sit us here", it wasn't loud but loud enough for at least the closer people to hear. Is this something women do in general or only certain ones?? Words are the weapons of choice for womenfolk. Throwing items, sleeping around, and secretly poisoning you are their backups. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Errr, nope... I would never do that sort of thing, even if I'm irritated by it.... I was raised to be polite. Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm too polite for my own good. Men sometimes like women who mistreat them this way. My ex loved his exes even though they treated him like ****. Me? I gave him unconditional love and was so polite with him, paid for my dinners and drinks, got him a birthday present 3 months into the relationship, apologized if I did anything wrong, etc. But he dumped me anyway. Not all guys are like that hun, I never would be. If I was with a woman that gave me snide remarks I'd head for the hills.
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Trying to get a perspective on this as a relatively inexperienced man. The last woman I dated made her first snide remark on our last date. When we were at the movies she said "why did you sit us here", it wasn't loud but loud enough for at least the closer people to hear. Is this something women do in general or only certain ones?? sometimes i speak too loud, its because i have had music blaring in my ears from headphones takes a little while for me to adjust..i bought myself new headphones for xmas....amplifying ones so now i dont even hear any background noise complete block out...not so good walking but they are the best......so maybe she could be partially deaf....from amplifying headphones....ok thats a long shot...trying to find a way to make it a non snide way...;0)...ok ....nah cant find one....... she just shouldnt have said it....not all women do this....i like to sit in certain places in the movie theater......not behind someone really tall is good, not fond of the side positions, i like to sit in the middle and if it was in a postion that i wouldnt be able to enjoy the movie i would whisper can we move over there...for two reasons, one i get to whisper to a guy i like tickle his ear a bit...smilin...two i want to enjoy the movie and feel comfortable....i also like to stay to the end of the movie and see the movie soundtrack and see who put the movie together all the people who made it happen...and some of the job title descriptions...make me smile.assistant to assistant to producers sons directors dolly grips dressmaker...now that is a job to call all jobs into question..i get disappointed if someone drags me out early.....i dont go out to the movies often and when i do ....i like it to be memorable.... i think though even though it was a snide thing to do to pinpoint you so everyone heard...it was just one comment that was inappropriate......was it the one comment or did it happen repeatedly????....next time if you date her and it happens again just say something.....like...hey does everyone have to know....are you partially deaf or what...well if it were me i would grin......and say yep sorry..but seeing it wouldn't be me ...i would leave the deaf part of the comment out...deb
Author SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 sometimes i speak too loud, its because i have had music blaring in my ears from headphones takes a little while for me to adjust..i bought myself new headphones for xmas....amplifying ones so now i dont even hear any background noise complete block out...not so good walking but they are the best......so maybe she could be partially deaf....from amplifying headphones....ok thats a long shot...trying to find a way to make it a non snide way...;0)...ok ....nah cant find one....... she just shouldnt have said it....not all women do this....i like to sit in certain places in the movie theater......not behind someone really tall is good, not fond of the side positions, i like to sit in the middle and if it was in a postion that i wouldnt be able to enjoy the movie i would whisper can we move over there...for two reasons, one i get to whisper to a guy i like tickle his ear a bit...smilin...two i want to enjoy the movie and feel comfortable....i also like to stay to the end of the movie and see the movie soundtrack and see who put the movie together all the people who made it happen...and some of the job title descriptions...make me smile.assistant to assistant to producers sons directors dolly grips dressmaker...now that is a job to call all jobs into question..i get disappointed if someone drags me out early.....i dont go out to the movies often and when i do ....i like it to be memorable.... i think though even though it was a snide thing to do to pinpoint you so everyone heard...it was just one comment that was inappropriate......was it the one comment or did it happen repeatedly????....next time if you date her and it happens again just say something.....like...hey does everyone have to know....are you partially deaf or what...well if it were me i would grin......and say yep sorry..but seeing it wouldn't be me ...i would leave the deaf part of the comment out...deb We're not dating anymore... That same night while we were walking to the theatre I was asking her if she remembered the waiter from our first date about how he kept calling her madam like he was britsih because I thought it was funny and she said somehting like 'oh cut him a break he was just doing his job'. I didn't say anything bad about him, just that I got a kick out of him calling her that... On our prevois date we were in a park and there was a flower I reconized and IMO most girls would be suprised if a guy called out a flower but she was like 'Oh well you're from x so you know already'. Is this normal behavior? I don't think so but like I said I have such limited dating exp I really don't know.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 learn to play "dumb" Don't remember all these dumb details from dates, let the girl do it... and jokingly say "I have no idea what you are talking about" and laugh about it when she brings it up. Makes jokes about it saying, oh you must really like me. If she's a bitch, treat her like one.... lick her face/nose... she wont know what to say/do
Author SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 learn to play "dumb" Don't remember all these dumb details from dates, let the girl do it... and jokingly say "I have no idea what you are talking about" and laugh about it when she brings it up. Makes jokes about it saying, oh you must really like me. If she's a bitch, treat her like one.... lick her face/nose... she wont know what to say/do So you're saying put up with it?? Play dumb when they make the comment?
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Is this normal behavior? I don't think so but like I said I have such limited dating exp I really don't know. what the ****... all that you described in this post is riduculous behaviour on her part.. she's a bitch / has no sense of humour / is stuck-up. Usually these things all go hand in hand anyway. :sick: Usually people are on their best behaviour during dates... so if this is her best behaviour, I can't even begin to imagine what her "regular" behaviour must be like... what a miserable woman. 1
Radu Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 So you're saying put up with it?? Play dumb when they make the comment? It's a good thing that you noticed these things, always have a mental checklist about how they act, because that is the most honest thing ppl will 'tell'. She sounds like my first 'serious' date. I was 20, she was 22. We met online, got together for a date. Back then, internet was crap so she just described herself. Was from another country, raised by a single mom [with questionable morals from what she said], she came dressed in a men's shirt, jeans. I'm a big guy, but she was taller and much bulkier than me. Honestly she looked like she was dressed as a lumberjack [ironically enough her mom was the boss at a lumber yard near a forest]. 90% blind in one eye, and constantly passive-agressive with comments like the ones you had. She lived with 3 girls in a room [standard dorm], but always slept in a room of 3 guys [one of the guys moved out and there was a spare room]. On our 2nd date [... unbelievable right ?], she gave me 45 pages from a psychology manual to translate from English for her ... in 3d. She ended our 'relationship' when i failed at the above ... and yes, her major was psychology in college.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 ^ OMG. WTF Radu... how the f*ck did you end up on a 2nd date with her... lol I wonder where she is now and what she looks like. hahaha
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 We're not dating anymore... That same night while we were walking to the theatre I was asking her if she remembered the waiter from our first date about how he kept calling her madam like he was britsih because I thought it was funny and she said somehting like 'oh cut him a break he was just doing his job'. I didn't say anything bad about him, just that I got a kick out of him calling her that... On our prevois date we were in a park and there was a flower I reconized and IMO most girls would be suprised if a guy called out a flower but she was like 'Oh well you're from x so you know already'. Is this normal behavior? I don't think so but like I said I have such limited dating exp I really don't know. ok just to let you know you might have limited dating experience but you do have "the right stuff".....so what if you are the new kid on the block you got the right stuff......alright a bit daggy...lol....... pointing out a flower you know the name of....you are interesting you have a bit of knowledge to impart so you share, not just talk about crap like "did you see those new ray bans they are the ****""""yawn......some women would use what you said as an opening to get to know you if they are interested...she obviously doesn't have a high social intelligence or etiquette ...all is cool...now you can find someone who actually has something to offer you... inflections and accents capture my attention too...i love voices...well certain types, others can make me cringe.......dont think about limited dating experience she could have been an experienced dater, didnt make her a good date though did it...she didnt make you feel comfortable and at ease share some laughs, get frisky, have some fun..........thats a good dater...and you dont have to be experienced to do that...you just have to enjoy being with the person you are with, which you tried...makes you the better date in my opinion...i wish you well with love life happiness and dating.. you got the right stuff babbyyyy dooo doooo dooooo headphones on........deb 1
TheZebra Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I don't get what the big deal about her comments was to be honest. When I saw the title of this thread I was expecting something much, much worse and much more passive aggressive but really it doesn't sound like she did anything so terrible. Also I don't know about you, but when I'm in the first few dates with a guy I get more serious and forget some of my sense of humor, even though I'm a pretty chill and funny person. I just get nervous and tense up and take everything at face value. How do you know that wasn't the case..?
Author SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 I don't get what the big deal about her comments was to be honest. When I saw the title of this thread I was expecting something much, much worse and much more passive aggressive but really it doesn't sound like she did anything so terrible. Also I don't know about you, but when I'm in the first few dates with a guy I get more serious and forget some of my sense of humor, even though I'm a pretty chill and funny person. I just get nervous and tense up and take everything at face value. How do you know that wasn't the case..? So you don't consider her PUBLIC criticizm over the seats a big deal? As to the flower I would of thought most women would of been surprised or at least like oh cool. Her comment discredited me.
Radu Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 ^ OMG. WTF Radu... how the f*ck did you end up on a 2nd date with her... lol I wonder where she is now and what she looks like. hahaha I didn't spellcheck the above. College dorm rooms have 3-4 beds in them, i meant that she slept in one of those beds. I was an idiot, desperate, and a fool. I like to consider this my 'momma's boy' period of my life when it came to accepting romantic advice from women. By that i mean that the advice given by those women was coming from the angle of the 'ideal, sensitive' male angle. It was the kind of advice you make PC because otherwise if you were honest you might perpetuate some negative stereotypes about your gender [the female one]. The girl mentioned above put me off dating for almost 2yrs. And it took 8yrs before i started to question the dating advice that got me a date with her.
Divasu Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It's not gender specific. Maybe she was busting your chops, or it was the 'way' she said it but I don't think the comment itself was over the top. Seems like it made you feel as though your actions weren't 'good enough' or 'appreciated' by her. A good witty comeback would have been appropriate. I tend to be on the sensitive side when certain comments are made and it triggers a knee jerk reaction on my part (usually of the shut your mouth variety but I'm a little rough around the edges depending on my patience level, so I don't recommend following suit). Sometimes people will say things that are offensive, I'm guilty of that too myself. We can only control our response to it and what we say to others.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) So you're saying put up with it?? Play dumb when they make the comment? Yes.... dont let it bother you Look you made an entire thread about it.... blew it out of proportion. Women do this **** to test you out as a man, most of the time they dont even know what they are doing... ignore it... pretend like it didnt happen So you don't consider her PUBLIC criticizm over the seats a big deal? As to the flower I would of thought most women would of been surprised or at least like oh cool. Her comment discredited me. Grow some balls. Look at you now, you're dateless complaining on a website because some girl was having a bad day and you took it personally. Most girls I hang out with have fun with me, play with me, toy with me. Try to get me to break, I had one tell me she made a lesbian video with my mom the other day. Edited December 26, 2012 by CptSaveAho
ThaWholigan Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 So you don't consider her PUBLIC criticizm over the seats a big deal? As to the flower I would of thought most women would of been surprised or at least like oh cool. Her comment discredited me. I think you may be overreacting on this one dude. Your inexperience is showing, as was mine when I used to overanalyze women's behavior like this. Sometimes I still catch myself reading in between the lines when women say things but it's the inexperience. But the key is to relax and roll with it. She's busting your chops. Just like on the phone that time, and probably in the cinema. Old Captain Saveaho above me was a little abrasive , but I think he's 100% on the money there. It's one thing to get like "she's disrespecting me", but don't take it too personally - the boundaries here shouldn't be so tight .
Author SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 Yes.... dont let it bother you Look you made an entire thread about it.... blew it out of proportion. Women do this **** to test you out as a man, most of the time they dont even know what they are doing... ignore it... pretend like it didnt happen Grow some balls. Look at you now, you're dateless complaining on a website because some girl was having a bad day and you took it personally. Honestly, do you act like this in public. Most girls I hang out with have fun with me, play with me, toy with me. Try to get me to break, I had one tell me she made a lesbian video with my mom the other day. Well it's a dating forum would you rather me post a question about my outbaord?? Like I said I'm inexpd. so I'm tying to see if this is normal behavior. Since you act like your so expd how do I know if she's like that or is **** testing me? I say by her pattern she's not $hit testing, this is her. She also tried to change every date starting with the second so that's 3 dates she tried to change and she planned one so that one didn't count. So by my book she's a contorlling female dog.
CptSaveAho Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Like I said I'm inexpd. so I'm tying to see if this is normal behavior. Since you act like your so expd how do I know if she's like that or is **** testing me? I say by her pattern she's not $hit testing, this is her. She also tried to change every date starting with the second so that's 3 dates she tried to change and she planned one so that one didn't count. So by my book she's a contorlling female dog. Did words come out of her mouth? If so then yes it was a test LOL no that's not controlling, that was testing... (here's the thing she probably has no idea she's doing it) Always lead, never let them drive or take control of the wheel... go with her on her dates but always plan your own and stick to them Watch... national lampoons christmas vacation and Clark Griswald's actions... he's the master of playing dumb
edgygirl Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 You're overreacting. I also thought she wasn't that bitchy. Just standard bitchy Captsaveaho is absolutely right, she is testing you (your limits of how much bs you will take from her), even if she doesn't realize it consciously. Don't take it too seriously as you did, but at the same time don't let her step on you in the beginning or it will set up a precedent. Women like it when they realize that a man won't put up with bs from her or let her treat him like sht. I guess men do the same test with women? As someone said above, I think it's quite hard to gauge someone's personality in the first/second dates. I am a super extroverted person, but if I really like the guy I may get a little nervous and quiet or act in ways I don't usually do in the beginning (shooting my feet, yay!).
Author SJC2008 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 Did words come out of her mouth? If so then yes it was a test LOL no that's not controlling, that was testing... (here's the thing she probably has no idea she's doing it) Always lead, never let them drive or take control of the wheel... go with her on her dates but always plan your own and stick to them Watch... national lampoons christmas vacation and Clark Griswald's actions... he's the master of playing dumb Well than going by your logic I passed the tests becasue I didn't say anything, it was like I didn't even hear it. I'm gonna go with my gut and say this is the way she is becasue for one I was there and two I'm very good at reading people. If her trying to change a date was a test to see if I'll cave then I passed the first time and that should of been it. But like I said she kept on doing it the rest of the dates so how many tests is a woman gonna dish out lol.
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