davidjor Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Well for many of you that know my story it seems as though, I just couldnt get it. Im the OM and have fallen for a married women. Tried to go NC several times but it just seems that she has this "special power" or control over me that just messes with my head. The last few days for me have been hard and has actually a bit of an eye opener. I have literally stayed in my house alone, and just thought. Thinking how I got my self into this situation and how I am going to get out, and get my life back. I feel empty, I found myself checking my phone for messages something from her saying anything. Checking her facebook, and knowing she logs on and thinking she has time to log into facebook, but doesnt have time to send me a little text. I definately realize that I deserve more, I deserve better. Much Better. Knowing that she is with her family, husband and step-son, sisters etc. I realized one major thing...She has a choice, a choice to be there with her family or not. I found myself, just thinking "WTF, why am i so cought up on someone that is unavailable... Someone that just gives me crumbs here and there" Why would I or anyone settle for so little, I think this lonely holiday makes me realize just how much more I and everyone deserves. Guess, I am going to have to find the Nerve to totally go NC and block everything, and facebook etc. Anyway, sorry for the rant... Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas :-)
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