Million.to.1 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I think a lot of modern relationships fail not due to a lack of love, but rather because it's so hard to reconcile different aspirations. or differing core values.. geographical obstacles... That compromise of how important are my goals relative to how important are our goals? It's totally all about putting someone else before your self. Not only is that the answer to nearly all relationship issues, but it's also the hardest thing to do while remaining true to yourself. Thoughts? 1
todreaminblue Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I think a lot of modern relationships fail not due to a lack of love, but rather because it's so hard to reconcile different aspirations. or differing core values.. geographical obstacles... That compromise of how important are my goals relative to how important are our goals? It's totally all about putting someone else before your self. Not only is that the answer to nearly all relationship issues, but it's also the hardest thing to do while remaining true to yourself. Thoughts? the biggest obstacle in a relationship is yourself,you cant control how another is or thinks or feels or believes in ......if you cant accept differences that's when a relationship fails ...its not about what you have in common that's the easy part.......the hardest part is realizing that the differences are what make you a unique pair.....and compromising when you have dissension or opposite views if you get that down pat the relationship becomes one you can personally grow in....geography is just kms......opposing religious beliefs, cultural obstacles including traditional and non traditional are some of the hardest obstacles to overcome....but if you do ....its unique and as long lasting as any other relationship that have many things in common...its what you make of it....not on what the issues are its not the easy yards that test you and test the relationship its the hard yards.....the upsets and the problems you face as you go along th emore you face the stronger you get.......the biggest killer to a relationship is opposing viewpoints on fidelity in my opinion.....deb
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I think relationships fail because people are far too picky. They expect complete and utter perfection and they are never going ymto find it. perfectly good and loving relationships are thrown away for the silliest reasons. My most recent one was that our interests werent compatible and our music tastes were too different.........WHAT THE F-CK!!!!!!
todreaminblue Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I think relationships fail because people are far too picky. They expect complete and utter perfection and they are never going ymto find it. perfectly good and loving relationships are thrown away for the silliest reasons. My most recent one was that our interests werent compatible and our music tastes were too different.........WHAT THE F-CK!!!!!! thats basically what i said so i agree whole heartedly WITH WHAT THE F.....K....... people dont accept differences so yep fail......instead of trying to explore the differences and learn something new....he didnt have to like them just be willing to understand the differences and the reasons why you likE the music you do or the interests you chase.......relationships involve relating to someone.....partly,relating means accepting they arent you..that they are different and that way you will always have good relations or relationships.he failed not you..deb
nsteen87 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Near the end, she used the fact that I was a Republican and she was a Democrat as ammo. Frankly, I could care less, but really? haha
jags2bowl27 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Near the end, she used the fact that I was a Republican and she was a Democrat as ammo. Frankly, I could care less, but really? haha this made my christmas
jags2bowl27 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 the biggest obstacle in a relationship is yourself,you cant control how another is or thinks or feels or believes in ......if you cant accept differences that's when a relationship fails ...its not about what you have in common that's the easy part.......the hardest part is realizing that the differences are what make you a unique pair.....and compromising when you have dissension or opposite views if you get that down pat the relationship becomes one you can personally grow in....geography is just kms......opposing religious beliefs, cultural obstacles including traditional and non traditional are some of the hardest obstacles to overcome....but if you do ....its unique and as long lasting as any other relationship that have many things in common...its what you make of it....not on what the issues are its not the easy yards that test you and test the relationship its the hard yards.....the upsets and the problems you face as you go along th emore you face the stronger you get.......the biggest killer to a relationship is opposing viewpoints on fidelity in my opinion.....deb I just had a meeting with the Ex and she said the one thing she really liked that her new man (that she left me for) does is he always tells her she is beautiful and pretty. She said I would very rarely do this and our relationship was more of an "image." I pointed out that after 2 years of dating and talking everyday on the phone and giving it all, i didnt know i had to tell you everyday that you were beautiful. Whats your thoughts on this?
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I just had a meeting with the Ex and she said the one thing she really liked that her new man (that she left me for) does is he always tells her she is beautiful and pretty. She said I would very rarely do this and our relationship was more of an "image." I pointed out that after 2 years of dating and talking everyday on the phone and giving it all, i didnt know i had to tell you everyday that you were beautiful. Whats your thoughts on this? Everyday maybe not. but you should tell someone you love regularly that they are beautiful. the top reasons for women to leave relationships is that they don't feel appreciated. 2
jags2bowl27 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Everyday maybe not. but you should tell someone you love regularly that they are beautiful. the top reasons for women to leave relationships is that they don't feel appreciated. It gets hard when your Long Distance not to mention I would say I love u to her probably three times a day. I think it has to do with self confidence
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 It gets hard when your Long Distance not to mention I would say I love u to her probably three times a day. I think it has to do with self confidence Self confidence from her?
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I just had a meeting with the Ex and she said the one thing she really liked that her new man (that she left me for) does is he always tells her she is beautiful and pretty. She said I would very rarely do this and our relationship was more of an "image." I pointed out that after 2 years of dating and talking everyday on the phone and giving it all, i didnt know i had to tell you everyday that you were beautiful. Whats your thoughts on this? My ex-bf did not , EVER, tell me I was beautiful. He once complimented me on my hair, but that's about it. Sometimes he called me "sexy lady" -- I guess that's a compliment, but that was only when he was sexually aroused and wanted sex. As far as general beauty (rather than sexiness) is concerned, he never complimented me, except to say that I looked nice today (but that applies to clothing stuff, more than face, etc, no?). Then again, I can see why he didn't. He said he didn't love me or feel attracted to me, etc. But yeah, sometimes it's nice when someone tells you that you look pretty. Not all the time, though. I just like being caught off-guard like that: being told I am beautiful when I least expected to hear it. Saying it all the time is overkill, IMO. I would NOT want a guy to say that to me all the time. I used to tell my ex he was handsome , like, twice or three times a week. He never reciprocated except by calling me "sexy lady" in a playful way. I called him sexy too, but that's different than handsome/beautiful, IMO. I wouldn't leave a guy because he didn't say I was pretty, but it he NEVER says it after years and years of being together, then it might give me something to wonder about. Maybe it IS a sign that the "spark" is not there between the two of you and that he does not love you. That was the case with my ex, I think. He said he didn't feel the spark, he didn't love me, etc. I guess that's why he never complimented me. Maybe he used to compliment his ex'es with whom he was in love.
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I just had a meeting with the Ex and she said the one thing she really liked that her new man (that she left me for) does is he always tells her she is beautiful and pretty. She said I would very rarely do this and our relationship was more of an "image." I pointed out that after 2 years of dating and talking everyday on the phone and giving it all, i didnt know i had to tell you everyday that you were beautiful. Whats your thoughts on this? i have never been told i am beautiful in a relationship think i have said that before on here....i accept it, makes me freakin sad but i accept it...i think appreciating someone's beauty even if it is inner beauty is a trait not a difference its a caring trait......i think if I got told once a year if i had a relationship, it would be enough...you shouldnt need to say it everyday but then again some people find pleasure in saying it to their partner that is an admirable trait...i used to get you look sexy you are sexy that makes you look hot whatever, id say thanks for that...but to me it wasnt what i really wanted to hear not so much of compliment to be told the guy is thinking of your vagina all the time..now and again ok like, before actually making love and that can be done on a daily basis...ok three times a day...sigh....im out ........smilin...have a good one
jags2bowl27 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 i have never been told i am beautiful in a relationship think i have said that before on here....i accept it, makes me freakin sad but i accept it...i think appreciating someone's beauty even if it is inner beauty is a trait not a difference its a caring trait......i think if I got told once a year if i had a relationship, it would be enough...you shouldnt need to say it everyday but then again some people find pleasure in saying it to their partner that is an admirable trait...i used to get you look sexy you are sexy that makes you look hot whatever, id say thanks for that...but to me it wasnt what i really wanted to hear not so much of compliment to be told the guy is thinking of your vagina all the time..now and again ok like, before actually making love and that can be done on a daily basis...ok three times a day...sigh....im out ........smilin...have a good one That is my point, we were log distance as it is, but when we would go out i would tell her she look nice and stuff all the time. i just didnt directly say your beautiful. She said the new guy tells her all the time and I am starting to believe just like he said he loved her already (only known eachother for 3 months) he is just trying to get in her pants and have a title. Its absurd .
jags2bowl27 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 That is my point, we were log distance as it is, but when we would go out i would tell her she look nice and stuff all the time. i just didnt directly say your beautiful. She said the new guy tells her all the time and I am starting to believe just like he said he loved her already (only known eachother for 3 months) he is just trying to get in her pants and have a title. Its absurd . and ps its obviously working as she is choosing this kid over me and has had sex several times already. I know this from sitting down with her and her knowing i had sex with another girl already too... by no means did it ever cross my mind to say i love you to the girl
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 and ps its obviously working as she is choosing this kid over me and has had sex several times already. I know this from sitting down with her and her knowing i had sex with another girl already too... by no means did it ever cross my mind to say i love you to the girl hmmm....i think it takes a lot more than a guy saying hey your beautiful i love you to get a woman into bed....most women can tell pick up lines when they hear them...showing a woman you think she is beautiful mayeb because i havent been told it so this is my take.....but i believe a guy can show it rather than say it and if a woman was to actually ask to be told doesnt that defeat the purpose even to say when a relationship ended you never told me enough.... .i would never say this to any of my previous relationships i find it a bit sad to say............i think its a cop out on her behalf.......and actually an untruth.....i will hazard a guess here and say she was sexually attracted to the guy over you....and she didnt want to admit that so she made up some really sad excuse....doesnt seem a normal thign to say,......but thats a guess...it sounds a bit petulant like a child......because she is saying the other guy tells her all the time....like ner ner i found someone who tells me i am beautiful.....while flicking her hair with one hand tossing her head, like a shampoo commercial..sorry thats the image i get.......nahhhh ....nah.shaking head trying to get rid of that image...lol.. doesnt ring true.....best of luck to you....dating relationship whatever ...you should feel comfortable with who you are what you say and what you do.....you can adapt to someone......sure....but flighty women are flighty women...she sounds that way to me......best wishes....deb
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