KungFuJoe Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Agreed...WHATEVER you do, don't ask for details. In fact, never bring it up again, no matter how bad the urge is to do so. All it does is provide you with more triggers....things that will set you off at the very mention or sight of. Triggers are the worst. 1
Casablanca Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 But I made the mistake most guys make which is asking for more details about her sexual past when it came up in conversation *whoops*. I hope most men don't make this mistake...I NEVER ask and will never ask...can only cause jealousy...
Author VioletSummer Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 She doesn't sound especially "slutty" to me. As far as the icky feeling of her in the back of a car with some other guy, I can understand why it bugs you (granted, NOT because what she was was wrong, but because it's kind of a specific mental image). Most guys don't like imagining their women getting banged by other guys, and the details only serve to paint a mental image in your brain that is most likely distressing. The first thing to do is to stop discussing her past. Everything in your brain will want to bring it up with her, but likelihood of her revealing details that actually help your situation is far less than the likelihood of the details only digging you deeper into misery. You have to fight the urge to ask her about it. Focus on enjoying your time together. She wants to be with you. Make a list of things you guys want to do together for the first time and go do them; ideally things that neither of you have ever done before. Over time, the memories and relationship that you build together will make her past flings completely insignificant. Think about how many thousands of times you'll get to have crazy sex with her in the future, and how small of a percentage the other guys will make up. Absolutely, biggest mistake I've made in any relationship. Guys reading this: NEVER ask about your girlfriend's sexual past. I'm lucky in the way that she wants to put her past behind her and move on with me, or at least that's the idea I get. She's already created a list of things she want's us to do and a lot of them are firsts, and not just sexual things but things that you do as a couple. Watch the sunset together on a warm summer's night, go on holiday together etc. Agreed...WHATEVER you do, don't ask for details. In fact, never bring it up again, no matter how bad the urge is to do so. All it does is provide you with more triggers....things that will set you off at the very mention or sight of. Triggers are the worst. That's the thing that causes all the problems, not so much the thoughts all the times. It's the triggers, for example in this case I know the nightclub she was at that night and so every time a friend of mine says "Yo want to go to *NIGHTCLUB NAME* this week?" I automatically think of it all. Luckily I hate that nightclub anyway I hope most men don't make this mistake...I NEVER ask and will never ask...can only cause jealousy... Yep, you're 100% right. No matter what urges you have, how much you want to know just let the past be past and DO NOT ask any questions about it.
2.50 a gallon Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 If you are going to marry her, be greatful she has a sexual past! The last person you want to marry is a woman with no or little experience, especially a virgin. The reason being is that someday she will reach midlife, 35 or older and begin to wonder what she has missed by not being with other guys. It is story that I have seen all to often, there is nothing the husband can do. 1
charlietheginger Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 W. T. F. are you talking about? I feel like I'm talking about basketball with someone and you just jumped in talking about how much you like eggs on toast. Its becuase i didnt tell you what you Wanted to hear So u blocked it all out Reread my post its relates exactly to Your situation.
ThaWholigan Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I think I might be the only man who isn't really THAT bothered about a GFs sexual past . 1
charlietheginger Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Why would anyone be jealous about a persons past... lets look at reality... Im a guy i have a penis its been inside womens vaginas Pick any girl out of a crowd she has a vagina and penis As been inside her vagina. End of story
KungFuJoe Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Its becuase i didnt tell you what you Wanted to hear So u blocked it all out Reread my post its relates exactly to Your situation. This is not my situation. I'm not the op. It's hard to understand what you are saying because its plainly obvious that you come off as "off base". I have no doubt that, in real life scenarios, you're the one who enters a room full of people and all the energy is quickly sucked out.
Author VioletSummer Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 Although opinions differ here, I think those who are struggling with RJ are doing so perhaps because they have limited experience themselves OR feel intimidated by the experience of their partner. I just took a bath (great place to relax and think about things) and I realised what my problem is. I don't like the idea of her having been the way she is with me with other men. For example as a girlfriend (not sexually) she is extremely cute and you would never guess that her sex drive is extremely high. However when it comes to getting under the sheets, she's all for it. That's what has thrown me off the track here, but then I realised I'm not all that different. I spend most of my time with her doing cute couple things (and we both enjoy doing so), but then at night when we go back to either mine or hers I'm all for and ready for an amazing night of sex. I guess you could call it hypocrisy. 1
edgygirl Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I think I might be the only man who isn't really THAT bothered about a GFs sexual past . And I might be the only woman not bothered about a guy's sexual past. Everyone has desires, both men and women. It's totally fine to act on them. What I do have problems with is in the emotional side - are they becoming emotionally close to someone else or are they emotionally close to a past fling? That would drive me mad and insecure.
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