heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 despite the fact you guys broke up and you may no longer talk/or do still talk, do you consider your ex still special to you in some way? Or do you consider your ex not as valuable anymore and you realized that he/she wasn't as special as you thought they were. I ask this because even though I've been through a break up and can't speak to my ex, I still consider him special and he will always be special to me.(I will always love him) I value him because of the person he really is and the mutual understanding we have for another. I know that us breaking up doesn't mean that he is a bad person because I know he did what he had to do. If your ex is still special to you, what are your own reasons?
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Yeah she's special to me still... She's also special for driving me crazy that never goes away muahaha 1
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Yeah she's special to me still... She's also special for driving me crazy that never goes away muahaha Do you still love her? And would you want her back if you guys could make it work?
Keenly Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 The ex before last... even though I both hate and am terrified by her, I'd still love to be intimate with her again. My most recent ex.... idk... I feel like I love her just because she was in my life for 2 years, but she is not the same person now that I fell in love with. I think I love the memory of her, but not her.
Butterflying Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I believe once you sincerely love someone, you always remember that love, even when you no longer feel it. You remember how it felt, things you did based on that feeling, ect. But once you let go, decide that person is no longer a part of your life, move on; there is no turning back. It's sometimes easy to fall in love. But it takes a long time and lots of soul searching to get out of it. Once you do, you never want to go through that again. So people who maintain close relationships with X's, it's because of two reasons: 1) They never truly loved the person, therefore it was easy to end the relationship, no regrets. 2) They still love that person and don't want to let go. Now this only applies to people who don't have real reasons to maintain relationships like children, shared business deals, ect.
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 The ex before last... even though I both hate and am terrified by her, I'd still love to be intimate with her again. My most recent ex.... idk... I feel like I love her just because she was in my life for 2 years, but she is not the same person now that I fell in love with. I think I love the memory of her, but not her. Why do you hate your ex? Did she do something? People will always change no matter what, that's how people grow. Sometimes when you don't grow together in the same direction then relationships don't work out. But people can't always be the exact same person from when you first met them, doesn't work that way =/
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Why do you hate your ex? Did she do something? People will always change no matter what, that's how people grow. Sometimes when you don't grow together in the same direction then relationships don't work out. But people can't always be the exact same person from when you first met them, doesn't work that way =/ TRUE STORY!!!! My ex left me because "I changed"....isnt that the point? After three years where she met me when I was in college and I graduated, wouldn't I have changed to some degree anyway????
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Do you still love her? And would you want her back if you guys could make it work? Yeah I do still love her. When you truly are in love or love a person it doesn't end. As of being with her? No. Oh no...it won't work. Not after she cheated on me LOL, with over four guys. Not that I didn't give her chances...well before I found out the truth... Gotta respect yourself, despite feelings. But there rarely is a day that goes by I don't wish things weren't different after four years and wanting to marry her.
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 TRUE STORY!!!! My ex left me because "I changed"....isnt that the point? After three years where she met me when I was in college and I graduated, wouldn't I have changed to some degree anyway???? I think sometimes why relationships fail is people don't embrace change, they see change in a negative perspective and then that's where all the expectations don't get met. I feel like before jumping into relationships, people should know well that the person they're going to be with isn't going to always be the same person. The whole point of relationships are to work together and learn how to ADAPT with one another. That's how you strengthen your relationship with your partner. It's unhealthy to hold onto the same standards as when you were first dating someone for awhile. 1
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Yeah I do still love her. When you truly are in love or love a person it doesn't end. As of being with her? No. Oh no...it won't work. Not after she cheated on me LOL, with over four guys. Not that I didn't give her chances...well before I found out the truth... Gotta respect yourself, despite feelings. But there rarely is a day that goes by I don't wish things weren't different after four years and wanting to marry her. Yikes man, sorry to hear that I feel like being cheated on is one of the worst. It never happened to me, so I know don't know how it feels.
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Yikes man, sorry to hear that I feel like being cheated on is one of the worst. It never happened to me, so I know don't know how it feels. I pray you never do feel that feeling. It destroys more than words can tell. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to kill a soul. Just takes that right step. Any breakup is bad, but one out of deceit... I'm glad you never experienced it. But I am sorry you still had to experience heartbreak hugs* I do love her...
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I hardly remember most my exes. The memorable ones I remember with a touch of poignancy, bitterness and/or amusement, when I do think about them. I think I'm a lonely romantic deep inside so I do catch myself intermittently remembering an old love, but it's nothing at all serious, just a little flame out of fog, that's gone the next day.
MyAngel Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Yes she is and always will be special to me. I can't see a time in my future when I'll ever forget what we had. 1
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Yes she is and always will be special to me. I can't see a time in my future when I'll ever forget what we had. How long has it been since you guys broke up? do you still talk?
MyAngel Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 How long has it been since you guys broke up? do you still talk? Not long at all..... But my situation is unique and honestly she is unlike any other. We aren't talking. My past ex's I don't think about them at all and if I do, I feel nothing. But they were a looooong time ago, many many years.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 For me, I've really only had two serious GF (ones that lasted past two years. Im 26). My first ex started off really nice, and then when I started to get closer to graduating college, she flew off the damn handle. We were fighting every single day with screaming matches and what not. She accused me of being rough with her on my graduation day where me and my friends went downtown to drink. She was trying to fight these group of people and I had to hold her back (she was VERY drunk) and she cried saying I was hurting her....I stayed in that relationship about a year too long. She went crazy after the BU with messages, calls, etc. Even with that, I sometimes think about her. She actually just got married last weekend so good for her I guess. My current ex....I love with every fiber of my being. Even when she broke up with me, kept me in limbo for almost two months until finally saying she doesnt love me anymore. I lost my job and my apartment because of the depression...sad story continues. She is the reason im awake at 4am Christmas morning. I miss her more than I can almost take and the sad thing is she probably doesnt care.
Harradin Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 My ex is special to me, she was the only girl who I've ever had feelings for (before she came along my friends joked that I was a robot,) and the first/only girl I have ever loved and I still do love her, I miss her a lot.
KatZee Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) Nope. He's not. I realized I put him on an insanely high pedestal that he couldn't even hold up to. I found out exactly who he was as a person towards the end of our relationship and even more so after the fact. He lost all credibility with me and out of all the boyfriends I've ever had in my life, he's up there at the top of the list as "worst boyfriend" I've ever had. If he ever grew a big enough sack to actually man up and apologize and take responsibility for s.hit he's done to me, I think I'd actually accept it and I'd actually respect that. I don't respect him as a person because of what he's done to me, but at least I'd see him growing up and being a real person. But I don't think he'd do that at all. He's a broken human being. I will never look back when I'm older and think, "aww we had such great times together." And that's one thing I really regret. I don't agree with the person who said "If you truly loved someone that will never go away." Of course it will. I loved my ex with every fiber of my being. I would have done, and tried to do everything and anything for that kid. To the point of sacrificing myself, which isn't even healthy. But there comes a point where you need to wake up and see the person for what they are, and then realize that you love YOURSELF way more than you ever will them. I most certainly don't love my ex, not at all. Edited December 25, 2012 by KatZee 4
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Nope. He's not. I realized I put him on an insanely high pedestal that he couldn't even hold up to. I found out exactly who he was as a person towards the end of our relationship and even more so after the fact. He lost all credibility with me and out of all the boyfriends I've ever had in my life, he's up there at the top of the list as "worst boyfriend" I've ever had. If he ever grew a big enough sack to actually man up and apologize and take responsibility for s.hit he's done to me, I think I'd actually accept it and I'd actually respect that. I don't respect him as a person because of what he's done to me, but at least I'd see him growing up and being a real person. But I don't think he'd do that at all. He's a broken human being. I will never look back when I'm older and think, "aww we had such great times together." And that's one thing I really regret. I don't agree with the person who said "If you truly loved someone that will never go away." Of course it will. I loved my ex with every fiber of my being. I would have done, and tried to do everything and anything for that kid. To the point of sacrificing myself, which isn't even healthy. But there comes a point where you need to wake up and see the person for what they are, and then realize that you love YOURSELF way more than you ever will them. I most certainly don't love my ex, not at all. if you dont mind my asking, you sound quite bitter towards him. Did he cheat on you or mistreat you in any way or break up with you?
Author heartbroken1004 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 My ex is special to me, she was the only girl who I've ever had feelings for (before she came along my friends joked that I was a robot,) and the first/only girl I have ever loved and I still do love her, I miss her a lot. You still talk with her or friends with her?
movingon12 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 My last ex (ex-husband) is not only not special to me, but I honestly wouldn't date him if he was the last guy on earth. Previous exes are now just 'meh, whatever'. I guess I'd be curious to know what happened to them in their lives, but I really never think about them. I assume my last ex will get to that stage at some point. Though not if he keeps emailing me and behaving like a tosser. How 'special' an ex is to you is probably very much related to a) who broke up with who and b) how long ago that happened.
KatZee Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 if you dont mind my asking, you sound quite bitter towards him. Did he cheat on you or mistreat you in any way or break up with you? He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend one month after he told me he "loved me" for the first time. Cheated on me right after we came back from our first vacation in the Bahamas. He cheated on me right after New Years where we spent an "amazing" time in Atlantic City. Everything and anyone always came before me, even when he cheated (before I found out) he never had guilt, and he always kept telling me how she was his "friend" and that he'd never not be her friend and he'd always talk to her. He's disrespected my family to their faces, he's emotionally unavailable, he's a constant liar, everything was always my fault, he'd pull the "hot and cold" thing with me and ignore me for days and then act like nothing happened, he'd constantly criticize me, my lifestyle, my job, anything he felt was "flawed" would be under his critical eye, yet nothing HE did was ever wrong. He never took responsibility for anything he ever did to me, never showed true remorse for him cheating, he is immature, extremely irresponsible, financially unstable, lacks common sense, allowed his friends to disrespect me, never stood up for me... yeah I could go on and on about my ex, and this is why he means dick to me.
Harradin Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 You still talk with her or friends with her? Nope, a week before she left me, I was her shoulder to cry on/I was there and looked after her when she found out her parents were getting divorced. She told me how grateful she was that I was being there for her etc, I wasn't around during the weekend, when I came back the Monday after the weekend, she repaid me by leaving me for my 'friend.' She kept texting me and finding excuses to text me, got fed up and tried to get her back a month later (assumed her parents getting divorced messed her mind up,) only for her to lead me on then tell me she was staying with the 'friend' she left me for. She tried really hard to try and be 'friends' with me but Not spoken to her since (been about 2 months NC,) I shouldn't love her but I keep holding out hope that she was messed up from her parents being divorced and it was just the honeymoon stage. But even if she does come back I'm not gonna come running back.
veggirl Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I don't even think about any of my exes anymore. If I have a fleeting thought of them, it's just that and it's meaningless. They aren't special to me anymore. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) Katzee, is this the narcissistic ex of yours that you're talking about? If so, I totally sympathize with your experience. Mine appears to have been a narcissist as well. He dumped me as soon as he realized his company was no longer going to send him to my country for work. He probably needs a more practical and closer source of narcissistic supply... Is my ex special to me? In some ways, he is. He was my first love and guy I lost my virginity to, and we had some great times and memories together, but also some really bad ones. I was also very stressed by his behaviour a lot of the time, so that really makes me more hesitant to say that he's that special. Still, the fact that I was dumped only 2 days ago means that it's still so fresh in my mind and I will definitely miss him more than i would a year down the line, I guess. I don't know. But I have my ups and downs, one minute I feel like I miss him and that he will always be special to me, and another minute I just lose all feelings for him, and he's just someone that I used to know, who is out of my life for good (he's in another country so that makes it more "final" I guess). Edited December 25, 2012 by NoMoreJerks
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