BehindBlueEyes Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 The one thing I am having so much trouble with in my list of oddities is envy. A true example is this hometown girl I met while on my bike rides, stopping to the store she works in having small chats....I developed a crush. She now works at another store so I don't get out that way and do not see her a lot anymore and I miss her badly. Well I got stupid as usual and looked her up on FaceBook, bad idea. Sure enough she is on there and I find out she is just 20, married and had a son last summer. I was thinking she was a little older than that, unmarried....I dunno just sucks, I'm happy she is in her own family thing, but it sucks that all I am to her is the old guy on the bike that sometimes stops and chats with her while buying granola bars or some crap. I'm so envious of guys she "loves" or "close friends" with...I want to be a close friend, but at 38, it is a weird thing to be a close friend with a 20 year old....if you know what I mean. I just imagine her and her husband right now all snuggled up on Christmas Eve in bed watching movies on the blue-ray all warm and ****. Lucky ****er. it's ridiculous to be in such a rage, envy, jelousy and having a depressing feeling over some married chic I barely know and not even good friends with.... I don't even feel like going to Christmas crap with my family tomorrow, because I know I'll be a grumpy bastard all because of spiking my envy over some dumb FB profile I got pissed at... No advice needed....just puttin it down as a permanent work of my pathetic ****ing life. boo hoo, ****ing me.
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Some might say try and be better friends with her, but at 38 pushing myself on a 20 year old make sme look like a creeper, stalker in today's bull****, suspicious everything society. I need to let her go and forget it....... not easy to do once yo uget a crush or something....
Keenly Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I know what you mean man. I get really angry when I see gorgeous women to be honest. Because deep down I know that its not going to happen. Then I start to just get mad because I feel that finding an attractive woman, who is also attracted to me, and who is romantically compatible with me, is a statistical anomaly.
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