Alexis_Faith Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I'm at a moment in my life were I'm making a huge decision and I don't even know where to begin. I've been with my boyfriend, for 6 years now and I feel our relationship has run it's course. The problem is that I am the only one who really feels that way. My boyfriend is still fully committed to our relationship and I'm so scared and ashamed of the feelings that I harbor. We are headed in two different directions but he still believes that he can change my mind. I just would like to know how others might of gone through what I'm going through and can offer some insight. Any words will help. Thanks AF
denxnis Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Tell him you would like to break-up because you are not sure if you want to be with him for the rest of your life. Be as honest as possible. Do NOT rebound or get with another guy for at least a few months out of respect for him and yourself. After a few weeks/months and some space between you two let him know if you feel the same way or not. Also I would do this after new years but that's your call... 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Also, dont do this over text or phone, if you can afford not to... and do give him some time to talk things through with you. I find that helps a lot, to convince us dumpees that it really is over. The pain I went through as a dumpee was incredibly larger when my ex dumped me the first time without much of an explanation and refused to talk.. You owe it to him to explain things clearly and calmly, without any blaming, and give him the chance to say what's on his mind. IMO that's the mature way of doing things. 2
Author Alexis_Faith Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Thanks... That's my plan, to wait for after the holidays. And I don't think I can get with another man for a very longtime after this.
Author Alexis_Faith Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Can I set a period where I don't see him for a little while? Because what if he wants to keep calling and texting to talk but its really hard for me? Even if I do explain everything. He is an amazing talker and convinced me not to leave during a very tumultuous period of our relationship and I was super confused back then and wasn't sure what I wanted. Now I know what I want and I'm afraid to just be convinced again to stay.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Can I set a period where I don't see him for a little while? Because what if he wants to keep calling and texting to talk but its really hard for me? Even if I do explain everything. He is an amazing talker and convinced me not to leave during a very tumultuous period of our relationship and I was super confused back then and wasn't sure what I wanted. Now I know what I want and I'm afraid to just be convinced again to stay. I think it's unfair not to give him the chance to talk things through with you , at least for a little while, though. He might be in shock and might need to discuss things with you. I loved my ex to pieces, but when he dumped me 2 days ago, and let me talk with him about it for a bit, I didn't try to convince him, at least not the way I used to: I told him that I'd like to try again, but that he should feel like he really wants it, rather than be guilt-tripped into it/sucked backed into it because he doesn't want to hurt me. When he didn't really say much to that, and showed signs that he didn't want to try again, I told him I loved him and so I would respect his wishes and said my goodbyes. Haven't contacted him in 3 days , and will not. I deleted his numbers, deleted him from Skype, etc. I know it was final.
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