SJC2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 After another failed dating stint I'm getting a very clear picture of why SOME rejections hurt me so bad. Now this one was my fault as I dated a woman who isn't over her ex and I don't want to "jump" into something so I figured date her and see what happens. Well she came on super strong and in the end I was just a warm body but I wonder why I felt so bad, like I did with the other lady last year. Well here's the answer: I'm attracted to the dysfunction. I thought this chick was so nice but looking back now that it's over she's controlling and critical. Now she wasn't blatant about it so it didn't scream out but I'm willing to bet that's what I was drawn too. Here's why I'm screwed: I can't get an emotionally healthy woman OR a dysfunctional one!!! You see men, dysfunctional women want dysfuntion, but not the kind I (possibly the other struggling guys) offer. They don't want a good man that's a little needy, they want that commitment phobe and want to rack their brains trying to "keep him" becuase that's the dysfunction they were raised in. They don't want a pushover they can boss around, they want a Man to boss around because what ego boost does it give them if they can't control a "real man". I guraentee it if I handled that $hit test text differently and told her off I'd still be in the game. But I'm glad (logically) becasue I don't want some controlling woman who makes snide comments anyway. So the good guys who are a little shy/insecure are super screwed becase even the effed up women don't want us.
CptSaveAho Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Good guys take what they can get ... she gave herself to you so you just took it while at the same time not listening to everyone warning you what was going on It wasn't her tests you failed, it was your own Why are you so needy? Fix that.. that's a poor self esteem thing.. You are willing to settle for garbage then to fix whats broken and find a good one Healthy people do not date unhealthy people or waste their time with them
Woggle Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Then stop going for dysfunction. Like attracts like. If you want healthy then be a healthy person yourself.
Author SJC2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Good guys take what they can get ... she gave herself to you so you just took it while at the same time not listening to everyone warning you what was going on It wasn't her tests you failed, it was your own Why are you so needy? Fix that.. that's a poor self esteem thing.. You are willing to settle for garbage then to fix whats broken and find a good one Healthy people do not date unhealthy people or waste their time with them Because I've been rejected by every single woman in my entire life.
Author SJC2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Guys thanks for the advice but the topic is I can't EVEN get dysfunction. Now how bad is that?? I don't look for it consciously but only realize it when I'm rejected and if it hurts it's becuase that person had the dysfunction I was looking for. Nobody is emotionally perfect but I want to meet a compassionate, strong woman who will let the man lead but be able to fend for herslef. If I can't pull in a dysfunctional woman how the hell am I going to get what I want? Therapy??
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