edgygirl Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 (edited) the only reason I brought anything up about fathers was because he was responding to the only post by d'Argennes that somewhat made sense. Edgygirl's viewpoint about not "needing men" to raise children is an asinine and potentially harmful one to hold, and d'Argennes was not out of line for calling her out on her BS, nor were the assertions contained therein incorrect. KungFu then proceeded to quote the entire thing and act as if THAT post, out of so many others made in this thread, was somehow misinformed and/or emblematic of a misogynist attitude. Err... where exactly did I talk about needing or not a man to RAISE children? You're distorting my words. (See below). As part of a response to those implying that women sometimes have ulterior motives to be with a man, I said we don't *need a men to be physically involved (fact = there are sperm banks). And then I said we *want a man to be physically present. It's not "bs", it's a fact. Is it better to have both parents to raise the child? Maybe. Do women who grow up without a father figure are necessarily nutcases as adults as you implied? No. So... are you against lesbians having a child too? (...) There are sperm banks out there, did you know? we don't *need you. We *want you. If a woman is seeking a relationship with you it's because she wants you, not because she necessarily needs to use you for a hidden agenda. You guys, on the contrary, need a women or you can't be a parent. Both my therapist and my OB-GYN brilliantly reminded me of it Edited December 29, 2012 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Negative Nancy is awesome that's not the word I would use to describe her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 "Daddy wasn't there?". Yeah, and whose fault is that? So many fathers cheat, leave the family for another woman or even take off running as soon as they find out the woman is pregnant, and you have the nerve to lecture women that the messed up dating world is the fault of not having stable males in their lives? How about you direct your criticism towards the group that's actually at fault: Men who by leaving and destroying their families (and their daughters) failed to be those very role models that you're speaking of. Maybe men should start being responsible fathers then instead of cheating on their wives and leaving her and the children for a younger woman, as 99% of walkaway-men do nowadays. 99% not a realistic stat but its expected considering the source. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Being raised by an abusive single mother is one of the main reasons why I'm so screwed up right now. It's completely warped how I see women. Therapy hasn't been able to fix it yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 I grew up with a complete lunactic for a mother and a spineless father who didn't have the guts to stop her but even I know that having two loving and involved parents is the best situation for a child. I wouldn't recommend a plant be raised the way I was. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Edgygirl's viewpoint about not "needing men" to raise children is an asinine and potentially harmful one to hold, She ONLY wrote that in reaction to the oft repeated moaning about how women 'settle" for men at a certain point in life out of desperation to have children, or to get some poor unsuspecting dimwit to raise HER children (that were spawned from the seed of a mythical, godlike ALPHA man from her slatternly past). A perfectly valid response to that nonsense is, "we don't really need that crap." My post with which you are inexplicably taking issue Inexplicably? Making up stuff to back up your claims about women's dating problems - the women who happen to be RIGHT HERE and who speak quite eloquently for themselves - is pretty likely to get peoples' dander up. I don't think it's very inexplicable at all. but still deemed it appropriate to run your mouth anyway. What kind of language is that to use? You think it's fine for D'Artangnan, or whatever he calls himself, to call Edgy girl out on what you perceive is her "BS" but I'm "running my mouth" when I do the same to you? Is calling out BS a privilege reserved for the boys, in your opinion? Geesh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Negative Nancy is awesome Negative Nancy is negative! Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 that's not the word I would use to describe her. I'd use Negative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Negative Nancy is negative! I'd use Negative. This might be the first time you two have completely agreed on something! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 "Daddy wasn't there?". Yeah, and whose fault is that? So many fathers cheat, leave the family for another woman or even take off running as soon as they find out the woman is pregnant, and you have the nerve to lecture women that the messed up dating world is the fault of not having stable males in their lives? How about you direct your criticism towards the group that's actually at fault: Men who by leaving and destroying their families (and their daughters) failed to be those very role models that you're speaking of. Maybe men should start being responsible fathers then instead of cheating on their wives and leaving her and the children for a younger woman, as 99% of walkaway-men do nowadays. And tons of women cheat, abuse their children, purposely keep the father out of their lives, and retain custody over them anyway due to an insanely biased family court system. That system is in place in large part because of the attitude that fatherhood is more expendable and less important, which is what d,'Ardennes was condemning in the first place. I recognize that there are tons of deadbeat dad's out there, but there are also plenty of vindictive deadbeat moms that sabotage any chance of their children having a stable father which is further sanctioned by the courts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 that's not the word I would use to describe her. She has her moments. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 She has her moments. 1 moment in a 100 does not equal awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 My dad raised me after my mom cheated and left him for his friend.......and did i mention he KNEW i wasn't even his biological daughter BEFORE he married my mom. And when my psycho mother dragged him through hell in court, he sold his house and his car to fight for us. He is a shining example of what a parent should be. I dont even think about the fool who knocked my mom up. All i know is i look like some stranger. So maybe my dead beat mom had something to do with avoiding the great majority of female friendships. My group of gals has been with me almost my entire life. I trust them with my life. And having my amazing dad has shown me what qualities i know a REAL man has. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Being raised by an abusive single mother is one of the main reasons why I'm so screwed up right now. It's completely warped how I see women. Therapy hasn't been able to fix it yet. Read my earlier post. I was raised by an abusive single mother. My mom's idea of spending quality time with me when i was in elementary school was going to the mall, dropping me off at the arcade, then going to the bar and getting drunk. Then driving me home and somehow managing not to kill us both. When I was 15 the police knew us by face and name because they were always getting called to our apartment because of the crazy fights we had...one time involving her slicing up a shirt of mine with a knife...WHILE I WAS WEARING IT. I spend most of my nights sleeping in the car in the car lot because my mom was relentless when I was around. She couldn't help it due to her depression but it makes no different when you're that young. Yeah...I thought about ending it at times. Not gonna lie. But I always knew that I was destined for something bigger. When I was 18 my mom got picked up by the police and committed to a mental ward. And that was that. She was out of my life...I was on my own. Everyone has their stories. So many of us have been abused in one way shape or form. But everyone has a choice. You can let the abuse take over, leaving you crumbled and defeated, or you call it to go **** ITSELF and be a better person for it. Now...I'm not gonna lie and say I came out unscathed. I was pretty screwed up emotionally and was clueless about women when I first started dating. Also had a raging temper from all the anger growing up. But no one is perfect. And I never once sat there and felt sorry for myself. Not once. I used it to fuel my "comeback" so to speak. I wasn't going to let it control my life...and I didn't. You're relatively young and going through therapy, which is great. I'm 38 and a lot of what I'm saying, I didn't really completely figure out until recently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 I am 33 and I am just starting to figure it out. I still don't know if I should ever be a parent. My grandfather abused my mother and my mother abused so maybe I should break the cycle and not reproduce. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Most people settle Most average or ugly couples are not so lustfully attracted to their partner as they even said they have to fidn little things that person does during the day to make them attractive they cant be turned on by just looking at them which is sad The truth is a women will hold out hope for a really good looking guy to hit on her and evnetually will settle for the best she can get hopefully a man she is not repulsed by and men will start at the top hitting on the hottest women and keep going down till they get a yes from someone they at least dont find hideous Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 So women have a narrow view of men thye find physically asttratcive but will settle for men who they are not that attracted to and dont get that i want to tear your clothes off leign from just to have kids Sounds awesome where do i sign up:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 I've been very sexually attracted to all my exs. Other women may or may not have. I couldn't "settle" for any guy. That's why Im single. I dont settle for less than i deserve. And just like everything it depends on the person. Some men settle for women they're not cumming their pants over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Well...it sounds harsh, but that's reality. Physical attraction goes a LONG way and people who are good looking WILL have it easier in relationships, and in life. But, that's life. It ain't fair. You gotta do the best you can with the hand you're dealt. So, perhaps you do end up with someone you're not completely in lust with. Does that mean you don't even try? With that attitude, why even bother trying to get a job since you know you'll never be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I mean...what's the point right? You weren't born with the smarts or aggressiveness to make it to the top...so just stay at home, and get on welfare. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Well...it sounds harsh, but that's reality. Physical attraction goes a LONG way and people who are good looking WILL have it easier in relationships, and in life. But, that's life. It ain't fair. You gotta do the best you can with the hand you're dealt. So, perhaps you do end up with someone you're not completely in lust with. Does that mean you don't even try? With that attitude, why even bother trying to get a job since you know you'll never be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I mean...what's the point right? You weren't born with the smarts or aggressiveness to make it to the top...so just stay at home, and get on welfare. Id rather be alone the rest of my life then settle with someone i cant picture making out with and being naked and intimate with without cringing and i wouldnt want to be settled for in that way either so ill just stay out of the game that ive never been apart of anyway Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Id rather be alone the rest of my life then settle with someone i cant picture making out with and being naked and intimate with without cringing and i wouldnt want to be settled for in that way either so ill just stay out of the game that ive never been apart of anyway There's more to attraction than being either repulsed by someone or wanting to rip their clothes off. Those are merely two ends of spectrum. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 There's more to attraction than being either repulsed by someone or wanting to rip their clothes off. Those are merely two ends of spectrum. I need to find a girl at least somewhat cute thats just me Id also women to think om somewhat cute rather then she tries to somewhat tolerate me physically 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 I need to find a girl at least somewhat cute thats just me Id also women to think om somewhat cute rather then she tries to somewhat tolerate me physically I think this is perfectly reasonable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 I need to find a girl at least somewhat cute thats just me Id also women to think om somewhat cute rather then she tries to somewhat tolerate me physically How are you on the looks scale? What do YOU do to make yourself attractive? Do you eat right? Work out? Dress appropriately? What kind of job do you have? Live at home with your parents or alone? Do you have good manners? Treat women with respect? You want to attract an attractive woman...you better do your best to be attractive yourself. It works both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 How are you on the looks scale? What do YOU do to make yourself attractive? Do you eat right? Work out? Dress appropriately? What kind of job do you have? Live at home with your parents or alone? Do you have good manners? Treat women with respect? You want to attract an attractive woman...you better do your best to be attractive yourself. It works both ways. I have no idea where iam on the looks scale im 32 and never been on a date so im obviously not great looking Im in decent shape dress well and most women think im a very good guy/gentleman Link to post Share on other sites
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