movingon12 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Starting in a bar is not a good start. All you'll pick up are alcoholics. It's a cultural thing. I gather in America it's a bit more frowned upon. For Brits it's perfectly normal.
LittlePrince Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It's a cultural thing. I gather in America it's a bit more frowned upon. For Brits it's perfectly normal. It isn't frowned upon but nothing good comes from bars like the internet.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It isn't frowned upon but nothing good comes from bars like the internet. I beg to differ, I know several people who meet their spouse in a bar. My best friend met his current girlfriend a bar, though to be fair we don't frequent cheap college bars, or dives.
LittlePrince Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 I beg to differ, I know several people who meet their spouse in a bar. My best friend met his current girlfriend a bar, though to be fair we don't frequent cheap college bars, or dives. They are all cheap dives and making whores into housewives instead of leaving your money on the dresser still doesn't make it a prudent decision.
silvermercy Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 It's a cultural thing. I gather in America it's a bit more frowned upon. For Brits it's perfectly normal. True. After travelling around Europe I've lived in Britain for a while. I thought I had stepped into alcoholics land!!! The amount of drink they consume on a night-out (and almost on daily basis) is similar to what an alcoholic would consume elsewhere - in my country at least. When my (European) friend asked for some non-alcoholic drink (orange-juice) in a bar the waiter looked at her as if she was bat-**** crazy and after he left her British friends chastised her for totally embarrassing them!! On another occasion, when I told another Brit I only drink occasionally (special occasions etc) he asked me if I was a Muslim!! I said no. He said "are you sure"? :confused: (I am NOT a Muslim for the record). lol So yeah, dating in a bar scene is commonly frowned upon in continental Europe, too. Not just America. So yeah, I would never date you unlucky Brits, sorry, haha!
crude Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Men are lucky that success and wealth legitimately increase how attractive they are to women. Women don't have this opportunity. Don't women have toyboys who appreciate the $$$ an older woman has? Women have the same opportunity as men to buy companionship. The problem is that these men who attract women with their wealth get married to them, instead of moving on to the next one who's better looking. The key is to understand the woman is with you because you're rich, and you're a fool to fall in love with her or care even a tiny bit. Just use her for a while and then find a younger and prettier model.
movingon12 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 True. After travelling around Europe I've lived in Britain for a while. I thought I had stepped into alcoholics land!!! The amount of drink they consume on a night-out (and almost on daily basis) is similar to what an alcoholic would consume elsewhere - in my country at least. When my (European) friend asked for some non-alcoholic drink (orange-juice) in a bar the waiter looked at her as if she was bat-**** crazy and after he left her British friends chastised her for totally embarrassing them!! On another occasion, when I told another Brit I only drink occasionally (special occasions etc) he asked me if I was a Muslim!! I said no. He said "are you sure"? :confused: (I am NOT a Muslim for the record). lol So yeah, dating in a bar scene is commonly frowned upon in continental Europe, too. Not just America. So yeah, I would never date you unlucky Brits, sorry, haha! Who orders orange juice in a bar?? Though in all seriousness, it's not just Britain. I met my husband in a bar, and (at least) 2 of my friends are in LTR with guys they met in bar - and we all live in Asia.
Els Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 What is the big challenge of realizing that there are many, many men and women who are shallow, and many who aren't? What is the benefit of trying to lay the trait on one gender or the other? I know, right? One would think it's rocket science the way some people go about it. (2*height + 0.5*money + e^face) - (3*boobs + 5%butt + 1.5/waist) * gender coefficient defines which sex is more shallow maybe?
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I no longer think that people who want a good looking partner are shallow. I think our intrinsic worth as human beings is a function of how attractive we are. I would argue that once we identify the attractive people we've identified the people whose lives are most important. Which is to say the groups of people in society who are cutest(women, children) are also the ones that are given the most protection while the ugliest(old men) are given the least. Their lives are simply worth more in an evolutionary sense and the feelings we experience when we look at them(attraction, confidence(theirs), envy, a desire to protect) is just an instinct developed to appreciate the relative differences in the worth of our lives. What is the point of devoting so much of your time and attention to such pointless thoughts? Even if you're right - which you are to a limited extent (good looking people have many things easier than bad looking ones) - so what? Shouldn't you be making the most of YOURSELF, and of the life you are fortunate enough to be living? Even if you aren't among the most beautiful people, you obviously have tremendous advantages over most of the world's population. You are sitting on a computer for hours, obsessing on the way people's faces look. Is that worthwhile? 1
TheBigQuestion Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Edgygirl, the fact that you didn't seem to think twice about saying you would slap a guy who would retort with the line about the ATM is more abhorrent than anything said by Radu or anyone else in this thread. That sort of line isn't "rude" at any age. It is a reasonable response by a man who does not believe that women are entitled to special social treatment just by virtue of being women. I've never bought a drink for a woman who wasn't already a platonic friend or my girlfriend in my entire life, and I seem to do just fine with dating. It's probably because I don't submit to BS tests as easily as so many men seem to do. If dating women in their 40s means I have to put up with a belief that it's alright to slap men simply for having the gall to call them out for being spoiled, entitled brats, then I will stick to their younger, more sensible counterparts. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Men and women both favor good-looking partners. The past few decades are the first time in a long time when women have enough self-sufficiency to choose their men freely. And some women prioritize being with a man they're strongly attracted to over being with a man who can provide for them. Everyone has their own cocktail for what turns them on and gets them going. For some, looks factor more heavily into that. For others, character and personality traits. For example, a hot stupid guy does almost nothing for me. I've been on dates with guys like this, and while they were nice to look at for a few minutes, I quickly got bored with the shallow conversation and couldn't wait for the date to end. But an OK-looking smart guy gets me going. Intelligence is the #1 trait that I look for. I've had 6-hour dates with this kind of guy, and left wanting more.
IT Geek Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 But an OK-looking smart guy gets me going. Intelligence is the #1 trait that I look for. I've had 6-hour dates with this kind of guy, and left wanting more. Unfortunately for those of us who are less-than-OK in the looks department, even intelligence can't make up for that.
Els Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Unfortunately for those of us who are less-than-OK in the looks department, even intelligence can't make up for that. Unfortunately, with some effort, the vast majority of people can make themselves OK-looking, so this doesn't earn much sympathy points. What is preventing you from looking OK?
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Equally shallow. But women are pickier in what they find physically attractive.
TheZebra Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Equally shallow. But women are pickier in what they find physically attractive. Women are pickier in general because of evolutionary reason. Men produce an endless amount of sperm and it benefits them to not be picky and have sex with anything and everything. Women only have a limited number of eggs and a limited ability to reproduce, so we have to be pickier on who our mate is because we don't have as many chances to pass on genetic material.
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Women are pickier in general because of evolutionary reason. Men produce an endless amount of sperm and it benefits them to not be picky and have sex with anything and everything. Women only have a limited number of eggs and a limited ability to reproduce, so we have to be pickier on who our mate is because we don't have as many chances to pass on genetic material. I agree with your theory of evolution. I also think that's why there's so many men here who can't get a woman. The women pick the best, and the men and the bottom simply lose out. Quite sad too. Some of them seem like nice dudes. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I agree with your theory of evolution. I also think that's why there's so many men here who can't get a woman. The women pick the best, and the men and the bottom simply lose out. Quite sad too. Some of them seem like nice dudes. it's always been this way, its just the internet and social media make it much more noticeable today.
Content Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Billions of people mate and find love on this earth spare me with the only the "top" guys mate or find love Theyres plenty of non "top" women who mate with non top men and live a happy life Its covnenient when you're struggling to blame it on all womens pickiness instead of looking in the mirror..or foolishly think only a few percent of men are all with the millions and millions of women on this earth. 2
Content Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Far, far, far, far, far, far less. Please refer to Zebra's post. I dont care about that how genders are wired nonsense i dont buy it Most people walking around men or women who are in relationships are quite average I guarantee you theyres more average guys out there then "top" men and judging by numbers most of the men in relationships are quite average
IT Geek Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree with your theory of evolution. I also think that's why there's so many men here who can't get a woman. The women pick the best, and the men and the bottom simply lose out. Quite sad too. Some of them seem like nice dudes. Well, even though we lose out in companionship we wind up being able to afford life's luxuries, get to do what we want when we want, and can buy companionship if we really want it. LOL No, I haven't bought companionship.
movingon12 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I agree with your theory of evolution. I also think that's why there's so many men here who can't get a woman. The women pick the best, and the men and the bottom simply lose out. Quite sad too. Some of them seem like nice dudes. Oh please! Go out on the street, go to a shopping centre, go anywhere where there are couples and actually LOOK at the men. Are you seriously telling me all (or even most of) the men with wives/girlfriends are "the best"?? Even if every woman wanted "the best", there aren't enough "best" guys to go around. Or are you suggesting that these "best" men all have multiple wives and girlfriends leaving nothing left for the rest of you? Or perhaps there are far more men than women in the world but no census has ever picked up this anomaly? Stop making excuses. 1
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