Broken_or_Angry Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 After my ex left there was no contact at all. I really didn't understand why, she just wanted it that way. It's been about six months and recently she has started calling me again, and we started talking about maybe getting back together. Usually when she calls it says unknown caller, but this time my phone rang late at night and it showed that a friend I haven't spoken to in about 5 months was calling. When I answer it was her. So I ask, why is this guys name on your number? She denied knowing why, so I said, if you want things to work between us, you need to be honest with me. So finally she admitted that she was dating him, and has been for about 3 months. I felt like that was it, I was done. I asked her to never contact me again, and ignored her calls for the rest of the night. My question is this, should I feel bad for asking her to be honest then calling things off once she fessed up? Or did I do the right thing? I still have feeling for her, so I need sound advise on what to do. Thanx for your replies.
Treasa Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 You totally did the right thing. She started dating your best friend, cheated on HIM to try to get back with you, lied to you...yeah, she sounds like a real winner. I'm sure you love her, but you can do much better. 4
Author Broken_or_Angry Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Thank you, sometimes making the right decision hurts. I appreciate your reply.
tori0001 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 It's a catch 22. Some people are with the thought that friends are off limits. My own experience, last summer I was dating a friend of my husbands, which we are separated, but this friend is not a close friend. He's a buddy who he plays cards with. When my husband found out, he freaked. I wasn't honest with him, because I knew what his reaction would be. For my husband I stopped dating his friend, till this day he wont forgive me. I have a hunch as to why your wife lied, she probably, like me , was afraid of your reaction.
Author Broken_or_Angry Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 I get that, and that's where the feeling of guilt was coming from. But at the same time, the decision to date someone that used to be my friend I feel is just really wrong. If she wanted to move on with this guy, then move on. Why start calling me? specially after you're already living with this guy. When she left things fell apart big time, when I finally start feeling better, like I can move on, she calls and makes me feel like there is a chance to get back together. I can't deal with that anymore, the manipulation, lies, I'm sick of it. Someone gave me some really good advise recently. When a person shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!! I am moving on, I don't need her to be happy. I am finally starting to live for me, and no one else. What ever the future holds, I am ready for.
tori0001 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 That's how my husband felt, and that's why I stopped dating his friend, to appease my husband. Why I don't know. It's not like it matters now, but I did it for him. He was so venomous about it.
road Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 That's how my husband felt, and that's why I stopped dating his friend, to appease my husband. Why I don't know. It's not like it matters now, but I did it for him. He was so venomous about it. This reads as you were married and dating your husbands friend. I don't think there is any husband that wants his wife dating his friend. Care to explain?
tori0001 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 There's nothing to explain.. I dated one of friends, when he found out, to appease him I stopped dating him because he freaked. That simple.
coltsfan1 Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Dating your friend is a low blow. When I was in your shoes I walked out on the girl and friendship. There are many men/women on earth no need to take the classless way out and pursue ex's friends. In my 30+ years on earth the people that I know have done this out of vindictive feelings. 1
Radu Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 The contact is because she operates on the ideea of the backup. You are the backup. If she contacted you now, it means that she doesn't think the other guy is that great, and she is putting out feelers, while she does that though, she does need a backup and you are that guy. PS: That guy is not a friend of yours. 2
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