ICE911 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hi, I will try and keep this short and to the point. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and recently moved in together in October 2012. We only saw each other 2 -3 times a week before moving in (sex happened almost always). When I did move in it was like 5 times a week and now 3 months of living together it's like 1 a week if I'm lucky. I have tried to discuss this with my girlfriend several times.....and the typical excuses, im tired, sore, migraine, blah blah blah. I live with her and her 2 kids. She gets pissed at me when I get sexually frusterated and start to feel like she is not that into me. I told her if that is the case, to let me know and I will move out. She has told me that it's not me. Sex is starting to seem like a freakin chore. I don't need sex everyday but 2-3 times would be ideal. I'm tired of always initiating and getting rejected. I honestly feel like rejecting her next time.....who knows when the next time will be. I have tried doing chores and tellng her how sexy she is, back rubs etc, I have done this stuff more now to increase the odds of sex....but that aint working either. Seems to me like men are nothing but a womens sexual toy. Whenever women are in the mood....the guy is expected to perform no matter what ....but when a man asks or wants sex we get told we are sex obsessive animals. Last time I checked, isnt sex supposed to be part of a relationship. I love this girl like crazy but am sick and tired of getting nowhere with sex. Seems like the "no sex card " gets thrown my way as early as the morning...some days. This does not make me attracted to her....knowing that sex is apparently a damn chore. I have asked her if there is stuff that she would like to do in the bedroom to spics things up and she says no there isnt. Can someone provide some help/advice on how to reverse this and make her want to jump me or is this just a big pipe dream. Date someone and live apart = sex. Move in with girlfriend = NO SEX
Balzac Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 My POV on such matters is that it's not gonna change. There are numerous LS discussions about sexless relationships/marriages. Research studies exist, the determinations are dismal. Find a new woman. 1
portableversion Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 the irony is that you ditch her shell find a new man in a few days andall of a sudden shell be horny and be shagging his brains out.... for awhile. Definitely think about it its confusing stuff for sure maybe once every two weeks could help be a good compromise. My ex wife i rejected her before our divorce and she mentioned it to me again the other day!!!! Well im so sorry babe you rejected me hundreds of times. For me i know it made me feel miserable and unloved and rejected and now im by myself, and still not satisfied. Actually having her gone has been more painful than a crappy sexlife. This is no easy matter. Its mentioned in corinthians a couple should not deny each other. I used to do like what u said id do the dishes the laundry goto th grocery store, pick up the house, and this was while i was pushing 60 hrs a week she barely put in 40. A few times it did wonders but soon it became expected and then nothing so then i was less inclined to do those things and told her hey yo got home beofre i did why dont you goto the store, oh what you gonna do cut me off from sex!! This is issue is a major problem folks have a hard time to deal with and it leads up to a lot of break ups and divorce. If you decide to leave her be very honest and cleear as to what its all about. If you wanted a platonic relationship living with the folks or an old buddy would suffice, sex is extrememly important. we are sexual beings plain and simple.... to do without when you live with someone you love and are attracted to makes for a very unpleasant ride for sure. It got real bad when i found out my mom whos pushing 70 had a higher libido than my ex, not sure what that was all about but dang!!!!!!!!!!!
portableversion Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 here one thing to consider, try going to a marriage counselor. They can give you ideas on how to deal with the stress in a productive manner and help you figure some of this out. They can give you pointers on how to deal with ur gf. Sounds like as of right now ur sex life aint so bad its bad when you get like how i was where once a month was lucky many times wed go a coupe of months and it went on like that for years and on top of it she treated me like dirt no matter i did all kinds of things for her and gave her a huge percentage of my check. My folks at group are way older than me and they have a great sex life. They are divorced and are now married to each other. they both were so traumatized by divorce they run groups to help broken shattered folks like myself. To get remarried they got annullments and had to go into marriage counseling. They were the oldest couple there and gto to know all the younger couples, they saw this one couple who said ah sex we are getting kinda burned out on it. My group facilitators said this relationship is already dead and they are not married yet, they predicted the couple will be divorced and it wont last. I saw a video where this priest was discussing how important it is to get the couple back into a healthy sex life, he actually mention that as a primary goal in marriage counseling. He said we are supposed to be having sex, unless you want to sacrifice it to god like priests and nuns do, but us lay follks can supposedly benefit from this. IM not sure since divorce i wnet 60 days with out masturbating. i don t know i work outside and went in my pants while working, that was at day 40. The priest said once the sex is there all other problems fade away and seem insignificant. Without sex they grow ever larger and become treacherous impassible mountain ranges
Recommended Posts