skylark100 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I'm trying to figure out this girls behaviour. We talked online for 2 weeks, met, really hit it off, went of for another date, went really well, great convo, and claims of the best dating she ever had ( shes 31 I'm 29...I really was really happy to hear this. 3rd date everything went wrong. I said some things in jest that were completely misinterpreted. I.e. I told her she passed the dating test and I wanted to see her much more. Also she made a joke about me coming over to her place the next night, but first she had to clean her boyfriends clothes up. Knowing she was single I asked her if her boyfriend was wearing her clothes, and if that's the type she dates. She seemed to get it and made another joke about me. So next day comes along, and I am supposed to meet up with her, she cancels last minute. The texting continues but less and less, but she claims she was really busy etc etc. I finally ask her, she claims I'm a total douche but would really like to be friends. She wouldn't specifically indicate what I did or said. I sent her a heartfelt apology, and told her that if she didn't want to continue on because of this that was her business. But that i am geniune person and admit to my mistakes. Figuring if she really liked me she would likely give a second chance. I'm guessing she really wasn't all that serious and found someone better and this was just the excuse. Thoughts?
coffeebean201 Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Cancelling at the last minute is bad. Maybe let things cool down and try again with her in a couple months. Maybe she was just never taught proper etiquette. Sounds like you both made a connection.
shalisha42 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 She was dishonest with her feelings. When you first said these things, she should have told you then and there that she was offended. Also, she should not have made the joke about cleaning her boyfriend's stuff out of her house! That's not something you say to someone you barely know! She sounds unstable herself! Also, she sounds like someone who is incapable of communicating maturely. Leave her butt alone. Let her contact you!
Game Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Sounds like a breakup waiting to happen if you guys really got into a relationship. Consider yourself lucky that it happened early on before you two really got serious. If she said you're a douche on the 3rd date, just imagine what she might say to you on the 3rd month. IMO, she sounds pretty douchey herself with that offhand comment about the whole boyfriend thing. But at the same time, it sounds like you like to play a game of wits and playful jabbing which if she misinterpreted could have easily offended her, leading to such a comment about the theoretical "boyfriend", which is clearly a defensive mechanism. What you may have interpreted as playful banter on her part could definitely be her making an offhand remark to put you down - suggesting that she doesn't need you since she has a "boyfriend". She says she still wants to be friends with you meaning that she is either trying to be nice or still finds you entertaining to be around, which in that case my final advice to you is: hit it and quit it. 1
Author skylark100 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Thanks for everyone's input. Much appreciated. I have to admit I went NC after she proposed friendship. I wished her best of luck with her search and hoped she would find what she was looking for. In reality, she never will. Far too complicated an individual...quite devious and self centred too. I just chose to ignore the signs. In fact I brought some of them up on the 3rd date, which she clearly didn't like. Not quite sure why I would have wanted a second chance. After listing the pros and cons, there was clearly no future for us. Hopefully I will listen to my head instead of my emotions the next time. Though I have learned a few valuable lessons going forward. Not all was lost. 1
shalisha42 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Thanks for everyone's input. Much appreciated. I have to admit I went NC after she proposed friendship. I wished her best of luck with her search and hoped she would find what she was looking for. In reality, she never will. Far too complicated an individual...quite devious and self centred too. I just chose to ignore the signs. In fact I brought some of them up on the 3rd date, which she clearly didn't like. Not quite sure why I would have wanted a second chance. After listing the pros and cons, there was clearly no future for us. Hopefully I will listen to my head instead of my emotions the next time. Though I have learned a few valuable lessons going forward. Not all was lost. Good for you for making that list! Many times, people don't analyze why they want to get back with their ex. If they did, they would many times realize that their ex was not really the best fit. You'll find someone better! 1
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