becks77 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Ok so, apart from the odd wobble and desperate need to contact him, I have managed 1 month NC today. I still think about him but it is definitely getting easier - I still wonder sometimes what he's up to, who he's with but that happens less often now. Christmas is a tough time to miss someone - it magnifies everything and makes you think of all the good times - but remember all the bad times and the things that used to annoy you and that should help - it helped me. I also read a book - 'It's Called a Break up Because it's Broken' (never thought I'd need a self help book but it was pretty good!!) - lots of common sense stuff and it helped me to work through things in my mind. If I can do it, you can - I was a right mess at the beginning - I couldn't stop thinking about things, couldn't sleep or eat properly and drove my friends crazy talking about it all - I made countless lists of why I didn't really love him and why he wasn't right for me....BUT the only thing that has really worked is...time and NO CONTACT!!! You can do it! Merry xmas everyone - not saying it's going to be easy but don't be tempted to contact your ex - when I had my little wobble about contacting my ex a few days ago, someone on LS said 'he's not sending you xmas wishes so don't send him any' - it will only set you back! 4
Amelie1980 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Some people will know my on a break thread. I am trying ti get through Christmas. but technically we're not broken up yet. he wanted the break, I gave it to him. I would never have contacted him. he kept texting me and calling me by his nicknames he has for me. he dropped a present off at my office with a card saying lets trust 2013 is a great year in it. The mixed messages are driving me.mad and affecting my ability to let go. How to get.through Christmas with this going on.
na49 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Some people will know my on a break thread. I am trying ti get through Christmas. but technically we're not broken up yet. he wanted the break, I gave it to him. I would never have contacted him. he kept texting me and calling me by his nicknames he has for me. he dropped a present off at my office with a card saying lets trust 2013 is a great year in it. The mixed messages are driving me.mad and affecting my ability to let go. How to get.through Christmas with this going on. I'd imagine that would be tough to deal with. I don't understand the purpose of a "break" and why would he want a break during the holidays? You'd think this would be the time you wouldn't want to be single. As for me, it's tough exchanging gifts, thinking about seeing her smile when I gave her a gift that I literally poured paychecks and paychecks out to get. (probably spoiled her too much..) It makes it tough, I could drive myself mad thinking about what she's been up to. I know one thing that helps me, whatever she's up to. It's not me. It hasn't been me for over two months. So I don't really want to know. She's living life without me, I'd love to know if she thinks about me even a little. If she does, what does she think about? It sucks not knowing, but I can't let it ruin my time with family. Being with them always cheers me up. Congrats on 1 month of NC. I'm almost 2 months and I am feeling better every day. I have off days now and then, but it can only get better as long as we don't let ourselves have a setback.
Zammo25 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 This time last year I was with her, happy. This year I am on my own and she is with the new guy. It is harsh but it is what it is.
Hopeful714 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 At the end of this month it will be 4 mos since breakup (the last I saw him) w/ very little contact afterwards that stopped back in Oct. I'm feeling bit better these days, but far from recovered. The BU, and realization that I was dating a liar and cheat who constantly betrayed me sent me in to one heck of a funk/depression. It doesn't help living on the East coast where skies are grey, days are now short, and the weather is cold. We were together last X-mas and New Years. I'm beginning to turn the corner and thinking of the year ahead for me. Beginning to set new goals. My thoughts of him are still there but no warm feelings are left. Just disgust. Once I beat this depression, I think I will be ok. I was browsing some of the other boards on LS. Reading the posts on the OM/OW boards regarding affairs with married people..UGGH....that's a REAL UGLY MESS. I'll take my BU and heartache over those issues any day! Anyhow thank you to all of you LS posters. Being here has really helped me see that I am not alone, and reading all of your posts/comments have opened my older naive eyes to many things. The lessons I learned here will no doubt serve me well in my dating future and will always be with me. Merry Christmas 2
NoMoreJerks Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) Some people will know my on a break thread. I am trying ti get through Christmas. but technically we're not broken up yet. he wanted the break, I gave it to him. I would never have contacted him. he kept texting me and calling me by his nicknames he has for me. he dropped a present off at my office with a card saying lets trust 2013 is a great year in it. The mixed messages are driving me.mad and affecting my ability to let go. How to get.through Christmas with this going on. Even worse when your bf calls you by the nickname he had for you, after he dumps you (via text) and you're saying your goodbyes. And then puts an "x" (kiss) at the end. I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean or what the intention was: is it a way for him to leave an opening so that in the future he might slip back in? Was it about him trying to make me feel better, feel loved, so as not to ruin my self-esteem? Was he just trying to be super-nice, so that he wouldn't feel so guilty about the whole thing afterwards? I don't know. It just left me even more devastated than if he had told me "It won't work between us, it's over. Take care." And he broke up with me 2 days ago. This Christmas has been incredibly hard, and I will never look at Christmastime the same way again. I'm spending Christmas on my own. No family or friends. They're all out of town. But maybe this is good, because I really am not the type of person who can try to be happy for a day or two, when deep down I need to cry. I just need some alone time, I think, so maybe it's good to spend this Christmas on my own. Merry Christmas and I hope the coming year will be a better one for all of you. xo Edited December 24, 2012 by NoMoreJerks 1
Author becks77 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Some people will know my on a break thread. I am trying ti get through Christmas. but technically we're not broken up yet. he wanted the break, I gave it to him. I would never have contacted him. he kept texting me and calling me by his nicknames he has for me. he dropped a present off at my office with a card saying lets trust 2013 is a great year in it. The mixed messages are driving me.mad and affecting my ability to let go. How to get.through Christmas with this going on. Hey Amelie - it's so hard when there's no definite answer - being in limbo is harder than knowing one way or the other - you need to focus on you and try not to think about him because it won't change things. Give him his space - try to limit contact as much as possible - BUT - don't let him lead you on for too long. At some point he has to give you an answer. I hope things work out for you - try to enjoy xmas if you can x
Author becks77 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 It sucks not knowing, but I can't let it ruin my time with family. Being with them always cheers me up. Congrats on 1 month of NC. I'm almost 2 months and I am feeling better every day. I have off days now and then, but it can only get better as long as we don't let ourselves have a setback. 2 months is really good - it doesn't mean you don't think about them but it does get much easier the more time passes and you stay NC - I keep imagining how bad I'd feel if I did contact him - I just need to work on knocking him off that pedestal though!! Have a good xmas!
Author becks77 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 I'm spending Christmas on my own. No family or friends. They're all out of town. But maybe this is good, because I really am not the type of person who can try to be happy for a day or two, when deep down I need to cry. I just need some alone time, I think, so maybe it's good to spend this Christmas on my own. Merry Christmas and I hope the coming year will be a better one for all of you. xo Things will get easier - time alone can be good as it gives you time to get it all out - cry, and be yourself. I hope you feel better about it all soon - LS is always here for you to vent on!
plee61 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) Merry Christmas to Becks77, I hope you will meet up with friends for Christmas that will do you much better. I still remember he replied my Christmas greeting sweetly on last Christmas day. We have been BU and NC for 2 mos, I hope to hear from him for Christmas. If not, hopefully he would remember to send me a greeting on New Year....It is sad that he doesn't remember me as a friend anymore ..... Merry Christmas! Edited December 25, 2012 by plee61 1
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Merry Christmas to Becks77, I hope you will meet up with friends for Christmas that will do you much better. I still remember he replied my Christmas greeting sweetly on last Christmas day. We have been BU and NC for 2 mos, I hope to hear from him for Christmas. If not, hopefully he would remember to send me a greeting on New Year....It is sad that he doesn't remember me as a friend anymore ..... Merry Christmas! You dont want to hear from him. Believe me. Even the kindest greeting will set you back. You think you want to hear from them but when they finally do communicate it just brings back intense emotions that are better left alone.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Hey everyone! Merry Xmas! I know this day sucks especially when you just lost your significant other...but look on the bight side...we have each other . I have to tell you guys...being here and reading all the post has been a godsend. I'm not sure I would have been able to make it through my break up let alone the holidays without you guys. I know for a fact that I'm in a better place and have turned the corner faster because of the advice and support of everyone here. This xmas I'm thankful that I found a place that has so much compassion and support. Thanks everyone and Merry Xmas! 1
th90 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Hey everyone! Merry Xmas! I know this day sucks especially when you just lost your significant other...but look on the bight side...we have each other . I have to tell you guys...being here and reading all the post has been a godsend. I'm not sure I would have been able to make it through my break up let alone the holidays without you guys. I know for a fact that I'm in a better place and have turned the corner faster because of the advice and support of everyone here. This xmas I'm thankful that I found a place that has so much compassion and support. Thanks everyone and Merry Xmas! Put aside Xmas, my BU itself would have been so much harder if it wasn't for LS. I wish I knew about LS and NC earlier. Merry Christmas everyone!
Inviv_girl Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I'm spending Christmas on my own. No family or friends. They're all out of town. But maybe this is good, because I really am not the type of person who can try to be happy for a day or two, when deep down I need to cry. I just need some alone time, I think, so maybe it's good to spend this Christmas on my own. You are with me!!!! Im at the same situation as you. Last Christmas was the happiest in my life, with him and family now Im all alone and crying! thank god I found LS and happy to vent here knowing Im not alone in this terrible situation. 1
lovefiction Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 My whole life feels like it has turned upside down... Three weeks ago I had planned to spend xmas with my boyfriend, his kids, and my son... Now he is with someone else... He posted a picture of them together after two weeks of dating and I want to die... I keep blocking and unblocking him on FB because I really want to know what is going on with him... Non of it makes sense to me... I know that we had a tough relationship but I thought he loved me... How could he possibly move on full speed ahead... I want to believe it is a rebound but why post the picture... I am house sitting and don't have my car which is a good thing b/c otherwise I'd be driving to his house at this point... I thought he would have pictures of his kid's homecoming on his FB but he doesn't... I am beginning to wonder if he is not getting them after all... This would explain his erratic, extreme behavior. I am desperately trying to keep from calling or texting. I know it would do NOTHING for me... But it is Xmas and I miss him desperately... I have never had such a horrible xmas.
zoomzoom Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 And stay away from facebook today!! I was on and it just brought me down... everyone is so happy and with their family and having a wonderful time, good for them but I do wish I could share that same joy. 1
Lost/Love Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I'm spending Christmas on my own. No family or friends. They're all out of town. But maybe this is good, because I really am not the type of person who can try to be happy for a day or two, when deep down I need to cry. I just need some alone time, I think, so maybe it's good to spend this Christmas on my own. After 9 years together, this is my first Christmas alone. He was my family, and now I think he is spending it with a new girlfriend. Its so hard, I don't know how to keep busy today, waiting for a text message from him that will just hurt anyway...
Author becks77 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 You dont want to hear from him. Believe me. Even the kindest greeting will set you back. You think you want to hear from them but when they finally do communicate it just brings back intense emotions that are better left alone. You're so right! I was doing so well and feeling better about things - and then he sent me a happy xmas message - made me rewind big time! Made me feel sad and set me thinking about him again - sucks! Going to try not to let it get me down.
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