Dreamer87 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I went out with a guy from my office for a few months last summer. During this time we briefly broke up, only for us to get back together about a week later. I then found out (from someone else) that he slept with another girl from the office during our 'break'. Even though it was a one-off that meant nothing it really stung that he did this and i couldn't get it out of my head so we broke up again, this time for good. However we have remained close and on good terms, and have met up quite a bit since. We're both thinking about each other quite a lot...i often think he wants to get back together, and although cautious, i feel the same. In the meantime i've found out from a mutual friend (he doesn't know i know this) that he has been back in touch with a girl he dated last year. He's been wanting to meet up with her but she blew him out coz she thought he still liked me. It bothers me he's wanting to meet her again after so long. I thought maybe he genuinely wanted me back, but why would he reach out to an ex? What's going on with this guy? Does he want me/her/or just to keep his options open?
skylark100 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I went out with a guy from my office for a few months last summer. During this time we briefly broke up, only for us to get back together about a week later. I then found out (from someone else) that he slept with another girl from the office during our 'break'. Even though it was a one-off that meant nothing it really stung that he did this and i couldn't get it out of my head so we broke up again, this time for good. However we have remained close and on good terms, and have met up quite a bit since. We're both thinking about each other quite a lot...i often think he wants to get back together, and although cautious, i feel the same. In the meantime i've found out from a mutual friend (he doesn't know i know this) that he has been back in touch with a girl he dated last year. He's been wanting to meet up with her but she blew him out coz she thought he still liked me. It bothers me he's wanting to meet her again after so long. I thought maybe he genuinely wanted me back, but why would he reach out to an ex? What's going on with this guy? Does he want me/her/or just to keep his options open? You say you 'think' he wants to get back together.....is it what you really want? You have also said you have remained close. How intimate are your conversations. Is there something that leads you to believe he wants this too!? If he is under the premise that your just good friends, you can't really blame him for looking at his options. Tell him how you feel, and that you are open to dating/relationship and see where he stands!! It will tell you for sure. If she stalls and studers, then you know he's not serious about you. The fact that he slept with another girl less than a week after you broke it off would be slightly worrisome to me.
shalisha42 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 He's keeping you around as a backup plan. Read your post back to yourself out loud. If it were someone else asking this advice, what would you tell them? The writing on the wall is clear. Move on.
shalisha42 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 You say you 'think' he wants to get back together.....is it what you really want? You have also said you have remained close. How intimate are your conversations. Is there something that leads you to believe he wants this too!? If he is under the premise that your just good friends, you can't really blame him for looking at his options. Tell him how you feel, and that you are open to dating/relationship and see where he stands!! It will tell you for sure. If she stalls and studers, then you know he's not serious about you. The fact that he slept with another girl less than a week after you broke it off would be slightly worrisome to me. I disagree with you. She should NOT tell him what she wants. She should not stay in contact with him. If he wants to get back together with her, HE needs to tell her this and then ACT like it. He doesn't want her back. She's a Plan B.
Game Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I disagree with you. She should NOT tell him what she wants. She should not stay in contact with him. If he wants to get back together with her, HE needs to tell her this and then ACT like it. He doesn't want her back. She's a Plan B. Ok, first of all, we don't know who broke up with who. She could have broken up with him, which means that she's telling him "I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU". If this is the case, then why would he come to her and tell her that he wants her back? We all know that when a dumpee comes crying that a dumper does not want to hear any of it. Hence why the NC rule is so strongly advocated on this forum. Secondly, this guy did NOTHING wrong. He hooked up with another girl while they were BROKEN UP. And they are not together right now so why is it wrong for him to keep his options open? For all we know Dreamer87 could be plan A and the other girl plan B. All we know for sure is that THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER. But really, this guy just sounds like he likes to bang and is casting his net out to catch some fish. 1
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