AlexJensen Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey everyone, Im completely new here but thought I would post and gather some perspective from you guys. Having looked through the site it does seem very helpful. Apologies in advance for the long message! So...Im a 21 year old guy having just broken up with my girlfriend of 18 months who is 20. Just some important background on her and the relationship: When we met she was going through issue/depression and was drinking too much. She's had several long term boyfriends despite being 19 when i met her. She also cheated on all but one of them. Yet we fell deeply in love and spent all our time together at college and were totally infatuated. We got on so well, she was caring, the sex was great etc etc...for most of the relationship. We did fight no doubt, and fight a lot but it never seemed disastrous because the good times were great. We were incredibly loyal to each other as well. I spent some time in Europe at the start of the relationship and she was extremely well behaved, and her friedns were shocked at how calm she was. Likewise I calmed too. After this period though things began to deteriorate. She complained that I got too drunk at parties and I began to get cross at how confrontational she was and her arguing. To add to this my friends did not like her at all. They thought she was overly possessive and that she made me possessive too. But it never seemed too bad because we were still so loving to each other. Now to the real stuff... So around a few months ago, I was sleeping expecting her to come back (she was out and I was hungover so decided to chill). At 5 in the morning i wake up and text her asking what shes up to. she replies saying coming home. I get a funny feeling so call but she puts the phone down. She comes back I get a little cross and she shouts blah blah blah anyway the day after she admits she was with her ex and was getting a cab with him but nothing happened. After contacting that ex I am convinced she is telling the truth...hit my confidence but let it go. Then after more fighting and problems we go out and she starts flirting outrageously with a very good friend who is too drunk to notice. She started undressing him, dirty dancing and grabbing his arse. I was cross but let it go. A couple weeks before the break up I start to feel her distance and ask but she assures me its all ok and she loves me. She said she would break up with me now if she didnt love me etc. Im convinced and go to Europe to see the family for a few weeks over christmas. A week into the holiday she messages me after a night out saying shes home. I ontice it wasnt her place (different suburb) so innocently ask whos mate. She gets so defensive about it and starts accusing me of accusing her and all that ****. I let it go. She then tells me the next day she slept in the same bed as another ex. After talking she says that she has felt distant and was pushing the boundries because I havent changed my occasional drinking habits (like once a week I get drunk...Im 21 ffs). So finally I grow a set and I break up with her. I do it nicely. She then proceeds beg me relentlessly for another chance. She messages me all night saying she cant sleep and that she cries all day and that she loves me and she needs me and will do anything to fix us. Im fed up and say i need time. To be honest I didnt feel much I was so angry. Anyway a week later I decide to skype her. I wait up for her and message her for skype. I dont get a response. She then messages me the next day saying howw sorry she was but she slept with someone..... Im so angry and lost. Whats worse is that now she seems fine and is having a ball with her mates whilst all of a sudden my feelings have caught up with me. What do I do/think. Any advice or remarks would be so welcome. Im struggling and its unfair.
ThatOneKid Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Bro I think it just comes down to moving on. I mean this chick obviously doesn't respect you, is a terrible person, and is going to have a huge negative impact on peoples lives. I think you take some time to grieve and come to realize her for what her actions say about her and just move on...
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