ugene Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. However, he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. This same guy also works in the same building as me, and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this. Thank you. I must say again, I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me.
Nightsky Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. You shouldn't be fine with this scenario. It should really piss you off to the point of maybe not wanting to date this girl. However' date=' he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. [/quote'] Yeah I could have seen this one coming. This isn't really even a however. I wouldn't be surprised if you two being together makes him want to sleep with her more. have you and this girl slept together yet. If not I'd really be wary. She might already be cheating on you. Seriously if she likes you she needs to get out now. Also mark your territory and totally fck the sht out of her loud in the living room lol. Are you bigger than this other guy. Like could you take him in a fight? This same guy also works in the same building as me' date=' and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this.[/quote'] Just tell her to break her lease and the other guy can find a new roommate to harass. Seriously she could just say the guy is sexually harassing her and she doesn't feel safe or some sht haha. Thank you. I must say again' date=' I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me. [/quote'] His attitude should piss you off. Tell your woman to break the lease. Don't even tell him. Just move all her stuff out and explain she didn't feel safe around him and he needs to find a new roommate. End of story hahaha. She needs to leave now. December is to far away. And if she needs a roommate it should be female.
MrCastle Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Not threatened? By a guy who 1.) lives with your girl 2.) has already had sex with her and 3.) is continuing to push for sex despite him knowing you're dating her? When will you feel threatened? Does he need to come up to you and say "I'm gonna bang your girl bro" ? You don't have to get all macho but if you're too passive in this situation you are looking at trouble. Tell this girl she has to move out.
CptSaveAho Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) This is a relationship you walk away from Tell her once she cleans up her mess, give you a call... If she wants to date you, she will do whatever it takes to remove herself from the situation and come back Contrary to other peoples' advice, you can't tell a girl what to do.... its controlling... If she likes you as much as you say she does, she will clean up her own mess, if she doesnt, then you didnt waste any more time Simple as this.... "Your roommate obviously doesnt respect our relationship so I am out" (You dont even have to tell her what to do, she will get the hint).... you are holding yourself accountable to your own personal boundaries.... which she is testing with the roommate.... she will respect you as a man for sticking up to her Edited December 24, 2012 by CptSaveAho
KungFuJoe Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Ok...first off...there is a difference between a guy "liking" your gf and not doing a good job of hiding it and actively trying to have sex with her. My first gf used to have plenty of guys who I knew liked her...but they showed it by taking her out to dinner or paying for her birthday party, etc. She had no interests in return and as far as she was concerned they were just friends. They never hit on her (that I knew of) or even admitted their feelings. It was just "obvious". But if I knew, FOR A SECOND, that any one of these guys had propositioned her...the gloves would come off. Now, I will trust a woman unless given a reason not to so I would let her know how I feel and trust that she would do the right thing and stop contacting the guy. And if the guy was someone I knew or, even worse, a friend of mine, I would beat his ass. 1
Pyro Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. However, he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. This same guy also works in the same building as me, and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this. Thank you. I must say again, I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me. Wow that is some drama. You have a few options here: 1) Trust her and wait for the lease to expire. ( I don't recommend this choice) 2) This guy is disrespecting you, her, and the relationship. You can go talk to him and tell him to lay off or to move (Probably won't get anything accomplished) 3) Talk to her and tell her that the whole situation makes you a little uneasy (hence why you are here) and that her trying to move out ASAP would be the best idea for you both and ask that she does. 4) Back off and move on. You shouldn't have to deal with the drama and tell her to contact you once the lease is up and she is no longer associated with him. Option 3 or 4 I recommend to you. 2
Carenth Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I agree with Pyro, I would probably go with option 4 most likely if I was in a budding relationship I wouldn't want that kind of drama. Actually I was in a similar situation once were a co-worker that wanted to go out with me, I knew she was living with her ex and that she wouldn't be moving out for quite some time. That was one of the reasons I decided against dating her (there were other factors as well).
Mrlonelyone Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 This is the kind of situation you just walk away from. A man living with a woman and having sex with her is not just a roomate. Even if it starts out that way, once sex has been had that goes from roomates to live in BF GF like situation.
Overthirtymale Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. However, he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. This same guy also works in the same building as me, and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this. Thank you. I must say again, I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me. Grow up. Mature men don't accept drama like this.
Later82012 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Get her out of there asap. Sublease her lease. Find him and tell him you'd chop his balls off (make sure he gets the message) if he made any advances on her.
movingon12 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I'm coming at this from the point of the women. I don't think she's cheating - if she was, I doubt she'd have told you he was trying it on. When you say living with - do you mean just the 2 of them, or with other friends? Personally, I don't see why you should break up with her now just because her lease doesn't run out until May. Also, even if she moved out, there might be a guy at work who tries it on, or at the gym, or a new neighbour... either you trust her to say no, or you don't. If you don't trust her, then end it. If you trust her, then accept that guys will hit on her. My husband gets hit on all the time, but I wouldn't break up with him about it (I realise it's different because he's not living with another woman - but it's a trust issue). As to what you should do, go round there sometime when he's there and make a comment about it to him - when you're with her (so he knows she's been telling him what he's been up to). Once he knows she's been telling you, he'll back off.
Author ugene Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Thanks guys. The reason i'm not intimidated is because I'm a confident man and he's not exactly fit and good-looking. She didn't have to tell me any of this, and I think it would be really immature to break up with her because she happens to live with him. We've only been dating like 6 weeks, and she did say that she wants to move out asap. But yeah, I have to confront him, and I will - not with any violence though. He's just, acting like a snake - she's with me, and he's sneaking around trying to get her, and it's in my face a bit. She won't cheat, that's not the issue. He's the issue. Thanks guys
Author ugene Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 UPDATE: So I sent him a mail, but I should say it to his face. I said clearly he has no respect for me, but he should respect her and stop sneaking around and trying to get my girlfriend to sleep with him, or me and him would have a problem, and that he would not like me as a problem. His reply was: "Not a good way to start a conversation. Try again." I think he is trying to get me angry, but I will not rise to this.
sid3 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 He's a cocky bastard. So are you going to try again? *hint* don't hit him in the face
EasyHeart Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 This guy is just a dick. I don't condone violence, but sometimes it (or at least the threat of it) is necessary. He's not going to back off unless you put some fear in him.
todreaminblue Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Sounds like a pretty arrogant man, very sure of himself, i doubt you confronting him will change his attitude in fact, it could escalate it, he will see her as more of a a challenge which will probably bring the whole situation to a head.........she needs to leave or he does and i think that is the only solution to your problem......some men just dont care in fact they actively seek to have sex with other guys girlfriends he could be one of them....i wish you the best i hope the situation gets resolved as speedily as possible....deb
Author ugene Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Thanks a lot, i'll handle this well, I really appreciate the advise. She is very sweet to me, and she wanted me to get him to back off, and she was very happy that I did this. I showed her the mail and she hugged me. The guy is going on vacation in a few days, and moving out after it now
irc333 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I'd suggest to my g/f that she'd seriously consider moving out of that place into her own apartment. Seriously. Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. However, he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. This same guy also works in the same building as me, and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this. Thank you. I must say again, I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me.
SmileFace Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) I am sorry I don't agree this your battle to fight. You have been with this girl six weks. She needs to be the one to stop this. Everyone is saying she should move out. Yes technically she should. However he went into this relationship knowing she lived with an ex-fling, that is his own damn fault. I think the big indicator of this relationship continuing should be based on her actions. Edited December 24, 2012 by SmileFace 2
truth_seeker Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hey all, this is my first post here, but i'd really appreciate some feedback or advice! I'm dating a really nice girl who I actually work with in the same building. Things are progressing with us and we're very happy together. She lives with another guy who she slept with before dating me - which i'm fine with. I am not threatened by that kind of scenario or intimidated by other men, etc. However, he has expressed interest in sleeping with her repeatedly since her and I started to date. He knows that we are happy together, and she has declined his advances, but he keeps pushing for it. This same guy also works in the same building as me, and I feel like his behaviour is sneaky, as he ignores me on sight and the whole time, is trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with him. She wants to move out, and that's fine, but my issue is this. It is December now, and her lease expires in May. Should I confront this man and ask him to stop his advances? After all, it will be a few months before they no longer live together. She told me all of this, because she is upset, and I think maybe she would like me to help stop this. Thank you. I must say again, I do not see him as competition, and I trust her. I do not believe anything will happen between this guy and my girl, but his disrepectful attitude annoys me. Solution: have your girl move in with you until he moves out.
SmileFace Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Solution: have your girl move in with you until he moves out. A girl he has been seeing for 6 weeks should move in with him? 1
veggirl Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Why do you have to do anything? Why doesn't your gf tell him to back the fk off since she's the one who's banged the guy and all.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 A girl he has been seeing for 6 weeks should move in with him? Yes, this, the signs are all over this for the "roommate" being a live in BF who it isn't working out with. The situation is kinda like being with someone who's separated but not divorced and they livein the same house. Waiting out a legal process (i.e. the lease they singed when they were soooo in love runs out). Do not move this woman in with you. Do find someone who's got this aspect of their life more worked out.
Later82012 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) Tell him you will have the girl file a sexual harassment case against him or maybe a rape case. Edited December 24, 2012 by Later82012
LittlePrince Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 A girl he has been seeing for 6 weeks should move in with him? Not any worse than her still living with her fck buddy while in a relationship.
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