Monty4321 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 If you and boyfriend / girlfriend live pretty much in the same metro area about 30 minutes apart, how often should you expect to see each other per week? It is very early in our relationship (less than a month) and she has a kid whom I also enjoy seeing. Sometimes I find myself missing her and want to see her more than just once a week. I never hassle her about seeing each other. But she seems content with once a week. I just would like to see her more often. Since its so early in relationship, should I just give her time to grow into desiring more time with me - or is once a week generally the norm? She texts me a lot, which I really like about her, but sometimes I feel like not initiating any text or communication unless she is asking to see me.
newmoon Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) norm is whatever the couple wants and that'll be different for everyone. but since she has a child, let her set the pace and yeah, it'll increase as the relationship progresses. my bf and i live about 20 minutes apart and have dated 1.5 years. we see each other 1-3x a week. at first 1x a week was all, with just texts to confirm dates. it turns into more as you know each other better and have more exciting things to see/do together. if you don't want to initiate texts at least respond to hers so she doesn't think you're uninterested Edited December 24, 2012 by newmoon
MissBee Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Once a week seems a bit sparse IMO. But it doesn't matter about a "norm". It's about what you feel comfortable with. But once a week seems abnormal to me. I would generally see my boyfriend several times a week. In the very very beginning before we were even officially a couple I would see him about twice a week. After we became official we saw each other 3/4 times a week on average. I slept over once or twice a week as well. Some weeks we saw each other more and when we saw each other less it was because we were unusually busy and usually we'd be dying to spend time together and we'd make that happen. The important thing was that I didn't feel like I wanted to spend time with him more and was begging for his time. You shouldn't feel that way. You shouldn't be wanting more and feeling like you have to get rationed time. You should talk to her about it. You can give it some time and feel how it is, but if it's still not as much as you'd like, have a conversation about it. 2
MissBee Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Once a week seems a bit sparse IMO. But it doesn't matter about a "norm". It's about what you feel comfortable with. But once a week seems abnormal to me. I would generally see my boyfriend several times a week. In the very very beginning before we were even officially a couple I would see him about once or twice a week. After we became official we saw each other 3/4 times a week on average. I slept over once or twice a week as well. Some weeks we saw each other more and when we saw each other less it was because we were unusually busy and usually we'd be dying to spend time together and we'd make that happen. The important thing was that I didn't feel like I wanted to spend time with him more and was begging for his time. You shouldn't feel that way. You shouldn't be wanting more and feeling like you have to get rationed time. You should talk to her about it. You can give it some time and feel how it is, but if it's still not as much as you'd like, have a conversation about it.
CarrieT Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 It is very early in our relationship (less than a month) and she has a kid whom I also enjoy seeing. I see a huge red flag here... She has only known you less than a month and already introduced her to her child???? The child - nor you - should start bonding until you and the female know it has the potential for a long-term relationship. I can understand her not wanting to push the relationship; both she and her child could get attached before knowing if there is the possibility you could be around - or the two of you have the potential for longevity. She shouldn't have introduced her child to her for at least six months into the relationship. 2
todreaminblue Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 If you and boyfriend / girlfriend live pretty much in the same metro area about 30 minutes apart, how often should you expect to see each other per week? It is very early in our relationship (less than a month) and she has a kid whom I also enjoy seeing. Sometimes I find myself missing her and want to see her more than just once a week. I never hassle her about seeing each other. But she seems content with once a week. I just would like to see her more often. Since its so early in relationship, should I just give her time to grow into desiring more time with me - or is once a week generally the norm? She texts me a lot, which I really like about her, but sometimes I feel like not initiating any text or communication unless she is asking to see me. you should see her more if you want, even if it is short visits......quality time is memorable......i havent had to ration time in any of my relationships they moved pretty fast once i was in one adn they progress naturally i really dont have to impose any regulations i take it easy going and let teh cards fall...........if i care about soemoen as in a partner...i never limit them deciding to see me its up to them...maybe she is the same way........sometimes surprises are nice and unexpected....i dont get pissed off with surprise visits from a partner...i enjoy them......if i am busy ill say hey ill finish this be with you in a sec...i am the same with most friends i just am open with what i am feeling if i am tired upset a bit blue i give them warning and let them come....if i didnt feel like it i wouldnt get pissed i would say hey how about tomorrow i am too busy or i need to go here do that do this but yep tomorrow would be fine.......talk to your woman let her know how you feel, you didnt say how old her child was .....but if she is young it is harder older kids are more independant and dont demand as much time.if i wanted to see a partner if i had one and he was really strict baotu time.....it woudl eb a bit fo a turn off fo rme....best wishes....deb
Angel Heart Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Once a week in a new relationship seems quite unusual to me. IMO, a new relationship is when we want to see partner several times a week to get to know one another better. Once a week sounds like a booty call or, perhaps, she is indicating she is too busy to bother to see you more often. Perhaps also, she is not that into you. She shouldn't have introduce her child so early in the 'relationship'. It's way too early to involve a child when you haven't established a close partnership. I would have a nice, respectful conversation with her asking her if you could see her more often. And listen carefully (read between the lines) to see where she is at mentally and emotionally in your relationship with her.
Author Monty4321 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Thanks for all of the replies. I think once a week is pretty shallow as well - especially for the beginning of a relationship. I can see as we get comfortable with each other that we can feel ok and confident in our relationship to go with see each other once a week at times. I know it is extremely early in the relationship and it's Christmas season so things can be a little hectic. But I just believe in making time for the other person and making it somewhat of a priority as time permits. I am going to talk to her about it to see how often she wants to meet up and let her know what my expectations are as well. Sometimes I wondered is something wrong with me for wanting a little more time together with her and feared appearing as needy or clingy. I'm only asking for at least twice a week at times. I really like her, but I am fearing that she may be the type that's way too busy, who doesn't mind going weeks without seeing each other, and may not put in effort for quality time. Its only been about 4 weeks into this, but even so - we've only seen each other three times.
CarrieT Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 Three times in four weeks at the beginning of a relationship (especially during the holidays) is more than enough. You might push her away if you ask for more this early on... 2
Author Monty4321 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Three times in four weeks at the beginning of a relationship (especially during the holidays) is more than enough. You might push her away if you ask for more this early on... Thanks CarrieT. I'm trying to keep the holiday effect in my thinking as well. I'm thinking that i may wait until after Christmas and see how the following weeks go. If it's the same, i may simply suggest we see each other a bit more, if it doesn't improve then i will talk to her about what I need and see if she can meet in the middle. I just fear that i may start withdrawing and things will fade.
Phoe Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 It does sound a bit sparse, but considering that it IS the holidays and she has a child, it may just be a matter of being very busy right now. Once the holidays are over, maybe start initiating seeing her a bit more often, if she is happy about that then go ahead with it
Author Monty4321 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 It does sound a bit sparse, but considering that it IS the holidays and she has a child, it may just be a matter of being very busy right now. Once the holidays are over, maybe start initiating seeing her a bit more often, if she is happy about that then go ahead with it Thanks Phoe. The short lived dating with her came to an end. Its really difficult to meet a regular person.
EasyHeart Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Once a week for someone you've dated for less than a month is plenty. You barely know each other. Healthy relationships start off slowly and build up; unhealthy relationships start off with you wanting to be together all the time and then peter out.
mammasita Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Once a week for someone you've dated for less than a month is plenty. You barely know each other. Healthy relationships start off slowly and build up; unhealthy relationships start off with you wanting to be together all the time and then peter out. Agreed. Take it slow. Once maybe twice a week is reasonable especially since she has a child.
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